Day 204 - 156.0

Feeling much better today--thank you all for the well wishes. I'm back at work, planning on a run this afternoon, probably an easy one on the treadmill. The high temp will be back in the mid 80s today and even though that's a lovely number compared to 95, with the sunshine and humidity it will still make for a hot run outdoors, and I'm a wimp when it comes to heat.

So this is two days in a row I've seen 156.0 on the scale. I'm 11 pounds from goal. Counting down every pound now feels like a huge success, since they are getting harder to come by.

I was looking for some Tylenol this morning for my still a bit achy throat and head (usu. I take Advil, but Tylenol seems to help better for this cold stuff), and I found a bottle of Excedrin Migraine that expired in late 2006. It reminded me that I used to take that OTC medicine a lot.

I used to eat so much sugar--I lived on a regular daily diet of Mt Dews, powdered sugar donuts, pop-tarts, candy bars, and cereal--that as soon as the sugar left my body it craved more and would signal that craving through a headache. Usually I'd take 2 or 3 Excedrin Migraines before eating my next serving of sugar/flour/fat foods to make the headache ease up.

Now I only get headaches if I have dark chocolate, a glass of wine, too many pecans, or if I'm sick with a sinus headache, which are all rare occurrences now a days. It's a refreshing side effect of a healthier lifestyle, one that I wouldn't have anticipated but am happy to enjoy.

Another side effect? All my fall shoes are too big. Yes, my feet have lost weight. I am no longer an 8 1/2 but a size 8. Too freaking weird. Good thing I love to shop for shoes.

Being sick sucks

So the head cold is a full blown something awful. Chills and fever last night, sore throat and sinus infection-type stuff this morning. I am home sick, and Sophie has it too so she's home from school with me. I am drinking OJ and taking Zicam tablets, and getting rest. Hopefully this will blow over soon.

I didn't run yesterday because I could feel it coming on and had zero energy by quitting time. Probably was for the best, but I hated not being out there.

Keeping my fingers crossed I'm all healthy by Sunday.

Day 202 - 157.0 A "real" run

Stayed on plan food wise yesterday, and had no extra food last night, which paid off with that extra pound gone this morning.

The big news is my run. I ran outside on an actual road for the first time ever. Not on a treadmill and not just in the neighborhood in a circle, but on the actual road where cars drive and "real runners" run. I put 1.5 miles between me and my house, and I ran back 1.5 miles. I wasn't fast--I finished in 36 minutes--but it wasn't a smooth course and I had to stop a few times for traffic and also took a couple walk breaks. I'm guessing I ran mostly 11 - 11:30 miles.

When I left work yesterday to go to the gym, the weather was simply amazing. There was no way I was going to run inside and miss the first beautiful day of my running year. So I decided to run outside.

Driving home to change, I was excited as if I was going on a first date, I couldn't get out of my work clothes and into my running stuff fast enough. It was kind of funny, but I loved the rush of knowing I was going to run "like a real runner"!

I know, I know. I'm a real runner on a treadmill. But there's something special, I think, about putting miles on the road. It was a different workout than a treadmill, that's for sure. I had to lateral-step a lot, going off the pavement onto the shoulder (usually grass and sometimes not-runner-friendly torn up asphalt and even gravel in several places) and back onto the pavement. I ran between 4:20 and 5:00 p.m., so I hit going-home traffic toward the end of my run and was on the side of the road more often than not.

I almost turned my ankle once, which freaked me out but thankfully I somehow recovered quickly. And once when a big truck blew by me I had one of those irrational thoughts of "what if that truck hits me? No one knows I'm out here, I have no ID on me, no one would know who to call if I died, and who would pick up my kids from day care?" Okay, so it's not that irrational and I probably need to start carrying my drivers license on me if I continue to run like this, and maybe let my husband know I'm running outside, just in case.

It's another gorgeous day today-- I'm looking forward to a good old fashioned road run again. Maybe I'll get 4 miles in today. But....

I think I'm getting a head cold, which is making me feel pretty crappy and headachy, and I am not happy about it. It better be gone by Sunday's race. I'm going to go get some cold-eze stuff after work that will hopefully help make it all better. I have no time to be sick, darn it. Please send healthy vibes my way. =)

Day 201 - 158.0

I didn't get to LAWL yesterday for my Day 200, 50 pounds lost event. Just too busy at work. I wished I had made it, because today I'm up a bit on the scale. I probably won't hit that magic 50 today at weigh in.

I'm sure the small gain is because since Saturday I've been having snack attacks around 9 or 10 at night and eating 400-600 calories of starchy crap. Last night was the worst--I'll spare you the food porn. Let's just say that being up a pound is a nice wake up call. I'm going to get diligent about keep my calories down around 1400 calories so I can get to goal. It's just silly to work hard and do great all day, then blow it in a span of 10 minutes.

On a positive note, I ran 3.7 miles yesterday and ran my fastest 5K yet--32:51. Today I hope to run 4 miles.

It is finally cooling off outside and the first touch of fall is in the air today. Tomorrow the highs are supposed to be 70-75. I have 2 long sleeve shirts and 2 pairs of pants that fit me, that I bought this summer on the 70% off rack. I don't have an overcoat or sweaters or business jackets that fit. So I need to go shopping. What an excellent problem to have. I just hope I can find some Fall sales so I'm not paying full price to replenish my wardrobe.


I've added a sidebar with my total running miles in 2007. I spent part of my Saturday night updating my exercise spreadsheet with addition formulas to calculate my total mileage each week. I was completely surprised to see I'd already run over 100 miles since March.

It's for totally practical reasons, so I know when to replace my running shoes. Uh huh, yeah right. It's because I'm a numbers nerd when it comes to goals and I *need* those numbers to help me keep moving. I'm sure Wendy will be very proud of me. =)

Day 199 - 156.8 - $50 on the line for May

I saw some friends at church today that I hadn't seen all summer, and we talked about my weight loss (it's impossible not to when I haven't seen someone for 3 months) and about running. Lori ran a marathon earlier this year in St. Louis, and her husband is a runner too. So it was neat to talk with some people in "real life" about running.

I mentioned wanting to do the Indy Mini Marathon in May, and they said "Is it sold out yet?" WHAT? Sold out? It's in May for crying out loud. Turns out, the Indy Mini is the biggest half marathon in the country. 35,000 people were in it this past May, and it sold out in November of 2006. Since it's September, I beat the rush and I am signed up!

It cost me $50 to register (holy cow! this racing thing may get expensive ;-) and I don't want to blow that much cash and not show up. So I'm running 13.1 miles in Indy on May 3, 2008.

We even get to run around the Race Track. How freaking cool is that?!

I may be a little insane to sign up for this before I've even completed my first 5K, but WTF I say.... what's the worst that can happen? I get addicted to running and want to run a marathon next?

Hmmm..... a marathon in my 40th birthday year (2010) wouldn't be a bad idea, now that I think about it. Okay, okay, I'll slow down and get that 5K under my belt first.

Race Stuff

I got my race stuff in the mail today! I am so excited about the 5K next Sunday (9/16). So excited, in fact, that I pulled up a training program for a half marathon this afternoon. There are two I want to run next year, and I totally think I can do them both. One's in May in Indianapolis and the other is in October in Evansville.

The training plan from coolrunning.com has "pre training," which is where I'm going to start. It will mesh well with my last week or so before the 5K.

Pre-training is this many miles, run on 5 days:
3 mi, 4 mi, 4 mi, 3 mi, 5 mi

Actually, I'm probably going to do "pre, pre training" because the most miles I've run in one week is a little over 11. I don't think that doubling my miles in one week is a good idea. So I'll be working up to pre-training, which sounds hysterical but when you think about it, I am a total newbie to all this and have only been running since March.

Wow. I've been running since March. That's 6 months of running. I guess I'm not really that much of a newbie. Woohoo!

On the weight loss front - I have "officially" lost 49.8 pounds, as of today's weigh in. Monday will be my 200th day on this weight loss plan, and by God if I have to I'm going to strip naked at weigh in Monday to get to 50 pounds down. What a beautiful day of ending in zeros that will be.

Day 197 - 157.0 Missing my other half

My husband left for Colorado Wednesday for a brother/sister reunion. He is the youngest of four--one brother lives in Hopkinsville, KY, his sister lives here in Evansville, and the other brother lives in the mountains outside of Golden, CO. The CO brother has remodeled his house and is probably going to be selling it soon, so he wanted to have one last hurrah with the siblings before the house is gone. Mark will be home on Sunday afternoon.

This sounds horrible, but usually I welcome a break from my husband. He can wear me out sometimes. I am a tad bit codependent (is it possible to be a little bit codependent?) and so I worry about how he's feeling and if he's happy or not and when he's not, then I feel like it's my responsibility to make him feel better. I'm sure this mostly stems from my childhood with a moody father.

But I miss him this time. Not because I miss his help with the kids (which is why I've missed him in the past), or because I need help with the house or with work. I miss his presence, his friendship, our conversations.

I've taken him for granted for a long time, I think. I get resentful about his messiness, his absent-mindedness, his self-centeredness, and his lateness (he's late for everything, but totally denies it, which drives me crazy). In the worst of times, I've thought I could do just fine on my own, if I had to, because I do everything anyway.

But that is so very wrong. I need him in my life, and not just because he's my kids' father. He's my best friend. I need to start treating him like he is.

We've been together since 1993. We had a rocky start, which I'll have to post about someday--it's quite a story. And we've been married since March of 1995. In a lot of ways we've beaten the odds. I can't imagine ever getting divorced, but there have been times when I thought that's where we were headed. Before we had Sophie, we went to marriage counseling for a year. It was the best thing we could have done at the time; sadly, my being 50 pounds overweight was a huge issue in our marriage. Mark married a skinny girl, and he ended up a few years later with a fat girl. He had a hard time dealing with it, and I of course was resentful and subconsciously (and, let's face it, consciously) didn't want to lose weight just to prove that he had to love me even if I was fat and that it shouldn't matter what I looked like--he married me for better or for worse.

He stuck with me, obviously. And even though we had some horrible years relationshipwise because of my body and his attitude about it, he finally got to the point where he loved me no matter what. I think age and kids mellowed him quite a bit. Plus he went through some heavy duty stuff himself and had significant counseling a few years ago which helped him immensely.

Now that I'm getting closer and closer to the skinny girl he married, he's in awe of me. He told me on Tuesday night after our dance class that he couldn't believe how thin I felt in his arms. He had a look on his face that I remember seeing that first night we met in the summer of '93, when he held me on a dance floor in a bar called Rookies in Henderson, Kentucky.

I was in awe of him back then. I cherished him and loved him with every ounce of my 23 year old body. Maybe when I'm back to my 23 year old weight (12 more pounds to go), the weight will no longer be an issue in my mind, and I will be able to get out of my own way and find the awe in our relationship again.

Day 196 - 157.2 - A slower running pace

Woohoo, down some more today. I don't know what did it, but it seems the plateau has been broken. I'd like to think it was all the junk food I ate this weekend, signaling to my body that I'm not starving it and it's okay to let go of some more poundage. But who the heck knows....

I did something different on my run yesterday. I've been having a hard time running for any distance. I'll run a mile or so, then have to take a walk break before starting up another mile or so stretch of running. I really want to run the entire 5K on race day (9/16), so knew I needed to do something other than what I have been doing.

So I slowed down. And it felt great. I ran 3.21 miles at 5.0 mph (12 min miles). I could have kept going, too. I hit that magical place of "I could run forever" at 3.1 miles (ironic, isn't it?) but had to quit shortly after because I'd run out of time and had to get the kiddos.

It was an enlightening experience. I've been wanting to push faster and faster, and have done well with speed for the most part. I have, afterall, only been running regularly since March and am 37 years old and ran for the first time ever last summer. So running a 10 minute mile was a huge deal for me.

What I want more than anything is to endure--to put in the distance. I think (hope) the speed will come later. Just last year, I couldn't imagine running what I can run today. Next year--who knows where I'll be.

Day 195 - 158.4 Progress?

Hmmm. Down a bit today. I was down 2 pounds on Saturday, too, but was back up 2 pounds on Monday. We'll see if this one holds.


I made it to the gym yesterday at lunch, and it wasn't the best run but at least I was there. I think 3 days off from exercise makes it tough to get a great run the first day back. Maybe today will be better.


I have to share this picture from Monday. I am pleased with what I see--even in 2-D, my body is looking so much better. And here are the glorious Sophie and Luke for your viewing pleasure. We took them to the park to feed the ducks on Labor Day. It was humid as heck and the ducks are clearly overfed because they were ambivalent at best at our saltine offerings. Perhaps we should bring cheese to go along with the crackers next time.

Day 194 - 159.8 Post "Holiday"

It wasn't even a "real" holiday (sorry, all you Labor-ers out there--I know it's real to you! ;-) but I sure ate like it was. I was totally relaxed about food for 3 days, but not necessarily in a good way. More of a "I'm not losing so why not eat whatever I want" way.

Saturday night I made chocolate chip cookies with my daughter. I knew this was a land mine and I did it anyway. I think I ate 8 cookies, raw. Yep, the uncooked dough. Then 3 more out of the oven. I figure I had about 1,000 calories in cookies.

Then Sunday morning we went to Bob Evans for breakfast and I had the strawberry-banana crepes. They were so decadent and delicious.

Yesterday wasn't too bad, but I had two servings of dessert at our friends' house. I did skip the burgers and hot dogs, so it could have been worse.

No gain on the scale yet. But these things can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

So today I'm working on getting back on track, including a run at the gym this afternoon.

This plateau is messing with my head. Jack Sprat has a blog entry on plateaus that I keep returning to, and I know it's the truth. I'm definitely at that point where my desire to change is equal to my desire to stay the same. Kicking it up a notch to get the rest of the weight off isn't in my plans right now, because I've just got so much going on. So it's got to remain status quo for a while longer.

I just hope I'm not still saying that a few months from now.

Progress Pictures

February 2013: WDW Princess Half Marathon.  152 pounds

June 17, 2010: 162 pounds, size 12 shorts, size Large shirt















October 31, 2008: 149 pounds.

June 28, 2008: Weight 152. I'm proud of my arms and shoulders because I've been taking weight training classes for about a month.

At my heaviest I was around 220 pounds, after the birth of my son in November 2005. This picture was taken that Christmas.



At my daughter's birthday party in May 2007, I weighed 179 pounds, size 12s and size L shirt.In July 2007, I was in size 10s and a belt! 165 pounds.


July 2007--165 pounds.

September 3, 2007 - At the park with my kids, I was comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt, at 159 pounds. I'm in a size 8 pants and medium/small tops.

October 20, 2007 - 155 pounds (photo courtesy of my 6 year old)

March 20, 2008: I've been maintaining around 152 - 154 pounds for about 6 months.

Day 190 - 159.4 - Jeans

I may still be 15 pounds away from goal, but I'm wearing skinny jeans today.

Last week I decided I needed a pair of jeans, so I got on a jean fitting website and found that Old Navy has a pair that should fit my body well. I have a shape where if pants fit in the hips, they gap hugely at the back of my waist. Guess? jeans were huge when I was in high school in the glorious '80s, and even though I wasn't fat, I felt like a total jeans failure because I had a curvy body and Guess? jeans were made for stick figures. I think I got a size 11 on, but they looked horrible because of the giant waist band.

Anyway, jeans and I have had a long history of not getting along. My last pair fit me relatively well, and I totally lucked into them--a size 16 Levi's that I found at JCPenney that even the sales lady said shouldn't have been in her department because they were too "young looking." They were low(er) waisted, which turns out is exactly what I need for jeans to fit me well.

At Old Navy last week, I tried on 4 different styles in 12s and had a couple 10s just in case. The Flirt Flare is the pair that fit, in a size 10. They are mid-waisted, don't gap at all, and don't pinch any muffin-top over the waist band. I've got a black cap sleeved v-neck t-shirt on, with a black belt.

I feel like a skinny girl today. If I don't lose any more weight, and can just hold on to this feeling, I'd be okay with that.

Day 189 - 159.8 - A short workout and a chocolate attack

A funny thing happened on the way to the gym yesterday....

Actually, a couple of things, which conspired against me to ensure I only worked out 15 minutes. I had planned to do 60 minutes, with some running but mostly walking, and was dressed and leaving the office at 4 p.m. I peaked my head into my husband's office to tell him I was going (we work together) and he said he wished I was staying so I could help him with an email.

Okay, I thought. He could just ASK instead of wish these things, but men, whatcha gonna do? So I stayed and helped for about 20 minutes. That set me back but I figured I could still get a good 40 minutes in.

Then as I'm walking to the car I see a lightening bolt and 2 seconds later a huge clap of thunder. Uh oh.... the drops started to hit my head before I got to the car. On my 3 minute drive to the gym it started to pour down rain with some hail thrown in the mix. I got to the gym and sat in my car for 10 minutes watching the wind and rain and listening to the ping-ping-ping of the hail. It calmed down enough that I decided to bite the bullet and get out of the car. I was able to keep my umbrella open, but my shoes and socks got soaked.

The funniest thing-- there was a sign on the counter that said "POOL IS CLOSED." I got my belly laugh for the day at that one. The guy working the check-in counter said they put it up when the lightening started, before the rain, but I just couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of such a sign during a raging storm.

So I filled my water bottle, retied my shoes, grabbed a towel and hit the treadmill. I ran one mile in 10:30, which is a fast pace for me. I walked a few minutes to warm up and cool down, stretched, and left about 17 minutes after I'd entered the gym.

It wasn't much, but it was better than completely giving up. My leg muscles are still really sore today, but they felt fine while I was running. So, not sure what today holds, workout wise.

I did great yesterday with food, until last night. I totally had a chocolate attack. I've got a lot of stress with work right now and it's just been building and building, and I caved and had 1/2 pint of Edy's chocolate ice cream that was left over from Sophie's slumber party last Friday night (we did fun foods--pizza crackers the girls made themselves, Jiffy Pop popcorn, and chocolate ice cream. Cornerstones of a sleep over with your best friend!), 2 SlimFast chocolate snacks, and a cereal bar. About 650 calories in 10 minutes. Frankly, I felt better. It's sad, but food is still my drug of choice when I'm really in need of a fix.

Day 188 - 159.4

I. Am. So. Sore.

I know your muscles are usually in worse shape on day 2, but I was praying it wouldn't be the case this time. That somehow magically I'd be immune from the effects of all those squats and lunges and pushups.

Ho, boy, was I wrong.

I can barely sit down and stand up, and getting up and down off the floor (I have a 21 month old, so I spend quite a bit of time down there) just about did me in this morning.

How in the heck am I gonna run this afternoon? We shall see. It may be some hobbled walking on the treadmill instead of anything resembling a run. And I've got to do something today, because the only exercise I got yesterday was 75 minutes of the Cha-Cha at dance class with my husband (which, while entertaining and fun, certainly does not qualify for aerobic activity unless you are in your 80s).

On the food front, after reading Debbi's post yesterday which contained a link to an article on the Biggest Loser, I've decided I'm going to ask LA to drop me down to plan 1, which is less food. When they changed all the plans back in early July, they increased my calories by about 300 and now I'm eating around 1600 calories a day. I think that's just enough to have put a stop to my weight loss and make my body think it's maintaining.

The article says to eat 7 calories for every pound you weigh, which means I need to be eating 1116 calories to lose at a rate of 2 pounds a week. I'd probably round that up to 1200 for good measure.

It also says to workout 60 minutes every day, and while I would love to do that and would feel great about it, I just can't make the time right now. I'm in the contemplation mode of some morning runs (Wendy is my hero!), and hope to work myself up to a few A.M. runs before my first ever Race on September 16. Morning workouts would be a major accomplishment for me, but also a tremendous shift in my core personal belief that exercise and mornings just don't mix.


ETA: Just got back from my LA weigh in. I was up .6 from Monday. I asked about being moved to plan 1, and the counselor said she'd take away a starch for a week and see how that goes. Plan 2 is supposed to be about 1400 calories. We'll see if that works.

Day 187 - 159.8

Well, back up a pound. Oh well.

Last night I had an awesome cardio class at the gym. My legs are so sore--we did a ton of squats and lunges. I can tell my cardio endurance has improved because I could do the whole class and wasn't exhausted during or after. It wasn't easy, but I hung with all the moves and didn't have to rest during the workout.

I didn't eat dinner until 8 p.m., and I hate eating that late. I was asleep around 10:30 so that's not much time for my fish, sugar snap peas, and toast with cinnamon (dessert!) to digest.

I've discovered Orange Roughy! We had a box of it in the deep freeze from GFS, and I needed a 3rd protein choice on my 2 day Take Off this weekend. I had no idea how easy this could be to make. I thaw it for 20ish minutes in a bowl of cold water. Then heat a tsp of olive oil in a non stick skillet, dry the fillets on a paper towel and lightly spray them with cooking spray. Then I shake on Mrs Dash lemon pepper seasoning. I put the seasoned side face down on the preheated pan, and spray and shake the other side. Cook each side 2-3 minutes and YUM. So good, so healthy! It's not fishy tasting at all, and the lemon pepper gives it a lovely flavor. I am not a cook by any stretch, and usually my protein is chicken or ground turkey or sirloin tip on the Foreman grill; those are getting old, let me tell you. The fish is a nice change.

Sophie did great at swimming. There were 4 girls, including Sophie, at the level 2 class who were moved up to level 3, which is great because that class is at 5:00 and easier for me to get to. She was so excited, had such a fun time, and did very well. She loves soccer, too, since she's started with the new instructor (who is a 1st grade teacher and a total sweetheart with the kids) on Thursday nights. I am just tickled--getting her started in these activities at age 6 is the key, I think, to helping her be physically fit the rest of her life.

Not sure if I'm going to run today or not. We have a client coming at 4:30 that I need to be here for, and then dancing tonight, so I may skip a lunch workout today. My legs are pretty sore, so I'm working myself up to a lot of excuses to skip it. If I do, it's not a big deal. Life, after all, is more than working out. ;-)

Day 186 - 158.8

Saturday's weight was 161--it was exactly what I needed to see to get on the Take Off juice program over the weekend. And I did it, but it was so hard. Especially on Saturday because it's tough getting used to not eating much.

Quick recap of what Take Off is-- 6oz protein (spread over 2-3 meals), 32 oz juice, unlimited green veggies, 2 LA Lite bars, lots of water. And that's the menu for 2 days. So it's not "no sugar," just very little food. But it works. Sunday was easier because your body seems to get used to it after a day. It's amazing, though, how spacey I felt and how listless, without the calories I'm used to.

I know I've gotten rid of the water weight from Saturday and just hope the lower weight sticks and the scale will start moving down again.

Tonight Sophie has her first swim lessons. After she's finished, I'll take her to the Kid's Club (day care at the gym) where she'll join her brother for about an hour, and I'm doing an aerobics class. No running until tomorrow. Hopefully that will continue to shake things up.

Day 183 - 159.8

Thank you for your helpful comments yesterday.

Vickie, that is the pep talk I needed and it's really helped turn my attitude around this morning. I appreciate your comments about the LA people--you are right on about them following the program and not necessarily dealing in nutrition reality.

Wendy, I was wondering if running more and doing fewer other activities could cause things to stall. I know your body gets used to the same activity and mixing it up helps move things on. I probably need to add back some aerobics classes, which I haven't done in weeks.

Alicia, thanks for your faith in me!

I did feel petty in some ways, complaining about a plateau when I've had a good run so far. But that's what cyberspace is for, I suppose-- complaining to the ether when no one in your real life wants to hear it.

Okay. So. I'm shaking it up with the Take Off juice plan this weekend. I'll work in some aerobics classes next week instead of just running. And I'll take what I get on the scale and keep living a healthy life and enjoy my success so far.

Day 182 - 160.0 The P Word

Have you ever been trucking along, happy as can be, when someone plants a tiny seed of doubt or uncertainty and that seed grows and grows and then you're a total wreck?

Well, on Monday the seed was planted, and now I'm a head case.

I have been floating around 160 for a week and a half, which in and of itself is no big deal. My weight has stabilized before for a while, then dropped a couple of pounds in a few days. This is not the first time I've not lost weight over the past 6 months.

But Monday my LAWL counselor said I had hit a plateau. I was in complete denial Monday and thought she was bonkers. But the seed is growing in my head and this morning when I got on the scale and it said 160--after 3 days in a row of workouts and decent food & water intake--I was pissed. I was upset, mad, and frustrated. I got on the scale again and expected a different result.

How stupid.

This whole thing-- being upset about not losing anything significant in a week and a half--is ridiculous. I know it. I'm sorry to put it out here but I've got to because my head and my heart are warring with each other. And I need to clean up my heart pronto before I get discouraged.

So. I can do this. I feel great, I look good. I will continue to eat well and live like I'm maintaining. I will keep running, longer and faster. And the scale will move down, or it won't.

I am not ready to call it quits on losing, but I'm also not willing to make myself crazy and unhappy because I'm not meeting my goal by a certain date on the calendar. LA Weight Loss has been a huge reason I've been able to lose this weight, but I may have to take charge of this situation if I continue to stall. I'm not going to be miserable just because I'm not meeting the time frame they say I should.

Okay. I hope that pep talk works for me. I'll let you know tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Day 181 - 159.8 Wedding Dress Story

I got to wear my wedding dress twice.

The first time was for our wedding, which was on March 18, 1995. We had planned an October wedding, but found a little yellow house that we got for a steal, and knew we couldn't live there "officially" without being married (we were attending our church regularly and even though we were living together, it wasn't official and all that).

So we planned a wedding in two weeks. My mom and my husband's mom called all the guests (we had around 100 people attend), we had a string quartet from the Youth Philharmonic Orchestra, and a small cake & punch reception at the church afterwards. My sister and aunt are the flower makers/cake decorators in the family, so I had those bases covered (and everything was gorgeous). Mark has a friend who's a commercial photographer, so he took our pictures as his wedding gift to us.

My dress, I bought off the rack. It was a simple tea length, cream gauzy thing with 3/4 length sheer sleeves and a portrait collar, with a wide lace band around the waist. I think it was around $150 and was a size 11. I weighed about 150 pounds on my wedding day.

Since we had planned for an October wedding when we got engaged in July 2004, we had booked a big reception hall and couldn't get the $500 deposit back, so we had our Big Reception on our original wedding date, October 28. To get people excited about coming, we made it a Halloween costume party. Again we had about 100 people, but many there were those who couldn't make it to the wedding, so it was a different mix of people. Every single person got into it-- fabulous costumes, a jolly good time it was.

My husband and I went as a Bride and Groom. What else?

I barely fit into my wedding dress this time. I had gone through a really tough 6 months since we'd gotten married. I did all those wonderful stressful things that can cause weight gain--got married, moved into a new house, got a new job. On October 28, 2005, I weighed 165 pounds.

I was so nervous that I wouldn't be able to wear my dress to the reception. And of course, that just made me eat more. So when it was time, I put on the dress and it just barely zipped up. I had a ton of cleavage spilling out of the portrait collar, which no longer rested nicely against the outsides of my shoulders but now formed a V-neck to contain my boobage. When I compare pictures from my wedding and the reception, I can totally see the 15 pounds gained.

I could get that dress back on now and it would look great, I think (maybe a little tight around my waist), even though I'm still 10 pounds more than I was on my wedding day. I'd try it if it weren't for the $100 I paid to have it preserved and packaged in an airtight keepsake box.

But there's something about knowing I'm oh so close to my wedding day weight that is exciting.

Our next anniversary we'll be married for 13 years. By then, I'll weigh what I did when we were dating. Which was 145 pounds. Which, ironically (NOT!) is my goal weight. I wish I'd saved some of my clothes from the summer of 1993, which is the year we met. It would be fun to see how they fit. I think, though, it will be just as fun to buy new clothes.

Day 180 - 160.0

My gym shorts were literally falling off of me yesterday on my run. I wear spandex tighty tight shorts and cotton roll-waist shorts over those. The cotton ones were falling off my waist down my hips and stopped to rest on my lower hips (saddle bags). I had to keep pulling them up the whole time I was running. I had no idea they'd gotten so big. It's like it happened over night.

So I'm off to Target this afternoon to by size Medium workout shorts.

Woohoo!

My run was great - 3.1 miles in 34 minutes, my fastest yet.

Day 179 - 159.6

Two days in a row, I've been in the 150s. Yesterday was 159.4. But what do you know, I go to my LAWL weigh in today and I'm 162, up .8 from last Friday. The counselor--who I really like and respect--threw out the "P" word and said I needed to do the 2 day juice thing, where I eat 6 oz of protein, unlimited veggies, 2 LA Lite bars, and drink 32 oz of Take Off juice--that's the menu for 2 days--to "break the plateau."

So, okay, my weight has slowed. I went on vacation in July. The past 5 weeks I've not been working out 5 days a week, what with vacation, work, whatever. I have "only" lost 5 pounds in the past month (since July 20). But a plateau? Isn't that a bit much? I've always thought of a plateau as several weeks or even months of no weight loss. So, excuse me Miss LA Counselor, but I don't think 5 pounds lost since July 20 counts as a plateau, even if I did gain today.

Here's the thing-- those bottles of Take Off juice sell for $25 a pop. I have one at home, so I'll do the stupid Take Off this week, but they aren't getting any more of my money because of a non-existent plateau.

Okay, that's my rant. I'm done now.

Friday's run was excellent. I did my 3.5 miles and it was practically cake! I could have run 4. No running this weekend, except for some brief jogs while outside with the family yesterday. Sophie kept yelling at me to slow down. "Mommy, why are you running away from us??!!" So I didn't get to run much on the family stroll, not that I expected to.

Planning on something today, probably a 5K run, although my training plan calls for only 2. I just don't think I can scale it back that much. =)

The doctor appointment was fine--he was happy but not as impressed as I would have liked (where were the fireworks? the balloons? the streamers?) with my weight loss . I have to go get bloodwork done one morning, but need to fast so I'll need to write myself a note at night to remember not to eat, then succeed in getting out of the house in time so I can let the vampires take my blood before work and before I pass out from hunger. I really like my breakfast now that I stop eating around 8 or 9 p.m.

On a book note, I finished Anybody Out There? last night. It's sticking with me, haunting me a bit. It was a good read, mostly, but sad in so many ways and I didn't need sad right now. I'm just glad it's done. I'm re-reading HP book 6 next, since DH is finished with it and is now on book 7. There's so much in book 6 about Vold-, er, You Know Who (ha) that I want to read it again before the next movie.

Day 176 - 160.8

Yesterday the scale read 159.8. I got to see that "5," even though it was fleeting. Today I was back up a pound. But the 5 is in my future next week, I am sure.

Running planned for after work is 3.5 miles, according to my training plan. That will be the longest I've ever run. I'm feeling good today, so I expect it will be entirely possible. Wednesday when I ran 3.1 miles, I was pretty spent at 2.5 but at 3.0 I felt like I could keep going and going. I ran out of time, so had to stop at 3.1. But that feeling of "Wow, okay, now I'm in a groove I could really keep going on" isn't a feeling I get very often. I liked it a lot. I hope I find it again this afternoon.

I'm off to the doctor for a physical. He used to prescribe my Lexapro, and so this would be my annual check up for that, but since I'm off the drug it's going to be my "Look at me! I'm so healthy and fit! Let's get bloodwork done to prove it!" appointment.

My weekend will likely be insane just as the week has been, but hoping for cooler temps (the 90s! oh joy!) and cooler heads and hearts. Best wishes to you fabulous people who stop by to give me kudos on a regular basis. You're da bomb.

Day 174 - 161.2 Consistency & Motivation

Today's official weight at LA was 162.0, which is 45.2 pounds down. 17 more to goal.

I started my 7th food diary today. There are 4 weeks in each. Up until a few weeks ago, I could say there were zero blank days--that every day was a food-tracked day--but I skipped logging food over vacation and I skipped this past weekend when I had the PMS meltdown. All in all, though, that's not a bad track record for 6 lunar months.

I know that the consistency is what's made the difference this time. And the accountability of 3 weekly weigh ins/meetings at LAWL has been the motivation for the consistency.

But it's not just food, it's exercise too. Thanks to my trusty exercise log in Excel, I can see that I've been exercising since March 23rd. That's almost 5 months of working out regularly. The motivation to stay consistent is definitely running--working up to that 5K on September 16 (which I officially registered for today) wasn't just going to happen overnight. I needed weeks of consistent effort.

So now what's my motivation? I look good and feel good. I'm in smaller clothing sizes. Several people have told me to stop losing weight or I'll be to thin (as if). So I must admit, I'm feeling less vigilant about my pursuit of The Goal. I want to reach 145 pounds. I'm going to reach 145 pounds. But how quickly? It's not a huge deal right now.

The most important thing is getting the weight off so I can run faster and longer. I want to be able to run a half marathon next year, either in April in Indy or in October in Evansville (maybe both, dare I dream it!). And 17 pounds is still a lot of extra weight to carry when running 13 miles.

And I'd love to be sans muffin top (God, I hate that description but dammit, it's what it is). But truly, other than that, I'm happy with my body. I'm not happy with my saggy boobs (sorry, TMI), my saddlebags, and my stretchmarks, but these things aren't going away when another 17 pounds are gone. So I've got expensive underwear and I look good in clothes, which is cheaper and less invasive than a visit to Dr. 42420. (we have a plastic surgeon in Henderson, Kentucky who advertises himself as "Your Local Dr. 42420." Like I'd ever go under the knife for a "discount" boob job for only $2995.)

Off to the gym in an hour. Hope you are having a super day!

Day 173 - 160.8

I think I sweat out two pounds last night with my fever. I woke up around 4 a.m. shivering, put on a sweater and took 3 advil , and woke up at 6:30 soaking wet with sweat. Perhaps that's why I weighed two pounds less this morning than yesterday.

I did make it to the gym yesterday afternoon, and it felt great. Did 5K in 36:35, alternated between running and walking. I was just so glad to finally get back in there and sweat (the good kind, not the fever kind) and feel my body working.

Sophie ended up having a good 1st day of kindergarten, of course. She said, "Mommy, I made two boyfriends!" I am in SO much trouble-ha. This morning she was going to ride the bus, but we just missed it. The schedule said 7:34 but the bus actually arrived at 7:30, so it wasn't my fault, really! ;) I called the driver today and notified her she'd have another rider on Wednesday. Sophie was so cute this morning as I drove her to school-- until she missed it, she didn't really know how much she wanted to ride the bus. So tomorrow, I have a feeling it will be no problem getting her ready for school.

Tonight the husband and I are back to our dance classes at our church. They were such a hit, the church and the dance instructors decided to do another 5 weeks. We really liked the Rumba last time, and we are learning two more dances during this 5 week series. I joked with my husband that if we start now, by the time we're old and retired we'll finally be good at it and will have something we can do together.

Day 172 - 162.8 Bad Sunday, Kindergarten Monday

Thank you all for your well wishes. Luke had a rough day Friday at home with my mom, but Friday night slept great and Saturday he was much better, and yesterday he was back to his old jolly self.

And, yes Vickie, now I have a sore throat and feel puny today. My husband and daughter don't have it yet, and man I hope it skips them.

I had a really bad day yesterday. Partly PMS, partly this sore throat thing starting, partly food induced. I ate badly Saturday and Sunday, and I wanted to just crawl in a hole because of the PMS. I've not had it this bad in a long time. Days like that, I can tell I'm completely off of antidepressants.

When I was on Lexapro, I'd feel a bit of a blip once a month, but could still function. Yesterday I wore my nightgown all day (which, I am happy to report, is a size Medium Ralph Lauren that my husband bought me in March for our anniversary and it finally fits), didn't take the kids to church, didn't brush my teeth or shower until 6 p.m. My husband took Sophie for the afternoon, so I napped while Luke napped, for 2 hours. I read my new book (Marian Keyes Anybody Out There? which I'm really enjoying. I finished Literacy and Longing in L.A. on Saturday--highly recommend it.) and sat Luke in front of the TV with his toys after he woke up.

And the not eating right and not getting any exercise has to make it all worse. I didn't make it to the gym all weekend, and only worked out Wednesday last week. I am not beating myself up about it--I have done the best I could with all the insanity going on. I'm just stating that when I'm off my routine, it contributes to feeling lousy.

So, despite feeling poorly today, I will go to the gym, even if it's only for a walk this afternoon. And I am back on my food plan, writing everything down. I'm going to LAWL today to weigh in, and will surely show a gain because my period is just barely starting (why does it take 4 days of spotting before I start? I may be in the early stages of perimenopause, do you think? I'm 37) and because of my salt/sugar/carbs/no veggies fest from the weekend.

Oh, and Sophie started Kindergarten this morning! She was so nervous, and last night we talked for an hour before she went to sleep, about how she's not ready, she can't skip, she doesn't know how to spell, doesn't know her all her letters, is afraid she won't make friends, is afraid there will be bullies, is upset she's not going back to Montessori (her preschool for 3 years). She cried and I held her and reassured her.

And this morning she was up at 6:30 like a big girl ready to go (normally, this child sleeps till 8:30 or 9 if I let her). My husband and I took her to school together (with Luke in the stroller), and she was okay until it was time for us to leave, then she started looking scared. I told her to look around--the other kids were probably scared too (one child was crying, poor thing), and Mrs K would help her and the others through their day. She was okay then, sitting on the big octagon rug, in front of a rectangular piece of construction paper with her name on it. I didn't cry, although I was close to it.

Here's to a better week!

Day 169 - 161.6 The day from h_e_double hockey sticks

Oh my gosh.

Let me preface this with, I am sleep deprived. And I don't do well on lack of sleep.

My son was up and down almost every hour last night until 3 a.m., when his temp finally spiked to 104* under his arm, and I took him to the ER at 3:30. The sore throat from Monday is now full blown croup and an ear infection. He got a shot, a chest X-ray, a breathing treatment, and two prescriptions. We got home around 5:45 a.m., and Luke was asleep in the car and stayed asleep, bless his heart. My mom, thankfully, took half a vacation day and came down and kept him for me. She is a saint.

I got about an hour's sleep from 6:30 - 7:30, which was a waste really and probably made me more tired. My husband comes in and wakes me up and says, "It's going to be a bad day, so we need to get in early." This, when I clearly can't get anywhere early at this stage of the game. Plus, Sophie had a play-date day which started at 9 a.m. at a friend's house downtown. I really would have liked some supportive words from my soul mate instead of this edict, but whatever.

And the other assistant is out today, a planned vacation day, which she totally deserves. And, we have 4 prospect appointments between the two advisers today. And, I've been making calls to seminar prospects who really don't want to hear from me. And, I've been dealing with the same client (the other broker's, not ours) on the same issue all day, and just got chewed out by his accountant from Chicago for an IRA contribution coding error from freaking 2006 that I had absolutely nothing to do with.

I must interject here with I am a highly trained with years of experience client support person, who has dealt for years with major stress, much worse than this.

But I'm not self employed for nothing, and this absolutely sucks.

I don't have time to go to LAWL. I don't have time to workout. We are having 8 couples to our house tonight for dinner and a couple's marriage study (thank God the kids are at another couple's house) and my cleaning girl cancelled on me this morning.

I still have to pick up my daughter, pick up chips and dip for our TexMex night dinner, clean up the house a bit (I don't want my friends knowing I live in a total pigsty, just a moderate pigsty).

And I'm blogging when I should be working. But I needed a tiny piece of myself to be out there today, since no one in my immediate vicinity gives a rat's ass I'm having a bad day.

The cherry on top? I'm getting ready to start my period.

I know it will be better. I just had to throw all this sh!t into the blogosphere in hopes it would get off of me.

Day 168 - 161.2

Yesterday's weight was 162.4, but today it's back down to below my lowest weight on Tuesday. I am oh so close to a new decade. With a "5" in 2nd position. Those will be glory days, my friends.

My official weight Tuesday at LA was 162.8, which is 17.8 pounds from goal. My original goal date was in mid September, which is only 6 weeks away. So I'm not going to hit the date goal, but frankly a consistent 2 pounds per week is unrealistic. And I knew that I would lose the last pounds slower than the first. And as long as I'm not at a plateau, I feel good about my progress.

Yesterday's run was hard. The gym was so hot--not like outside of course, but it was stifling nonetheless. I even had a fan on me and was having a hard time breathing. I am such a wimp when it comes to heat. I ran a solid mile, then walked, then ran a half, then walked, then ran a quarter, then walked, then ran another quarter. I did 5K in 36:40. So if it's hot on September 16th for my first race, which it likely will be, then I expect I'll be running slow.

I'm a little better mentally, but it comes and goes. Yesterday's trip to the grocery store, after work and after the gym, wore me out. My son whined a great deal, my daughter would not stop asking me for stuff, and by the time we got home I was done. Long story short--I let Sophie stay up too late working on her project stuff (she creates animals and their accoutrement from paper, and then breathes life into them), and she had a melt down. And so did I. It was not a pleasant evening. I am ready for school to start so we can get back on a schedule.

On the good side--I got a lot of reading done in my book while Sophie played, and I really like it. And tonight is our last seminar. And at last, our account system is back up.

Now if the heat would just break, life would be much peachier.

Day 166 - 161.6 -- Well, so much for not eating my way through this stress

Just when I think I've got a handle on my diet life, it falls off.

My husband had his men's group last night, which I'd forgotten about, so he was gone until 9:30 p.m. and I didn't get to the gym or get any work at home done.

So after I'd put the baby boy down to sleep, and after I'd snuggled and connected with my daughter who I hadn't seen since Saturday afternoon, and then set her up with a movie, I gave in. The desire to numb myself got the better of me.

I grabbed my new paperback (Literacy and Longing in L.A.--it's good so far) and just shut down. I couldn't face everything that has to be done and the uncertainty of whether Luke would be well enough to go to the sitter or if I'd have to figure out something for him. So I immersed myself in my book, which is ironic because that's what the book is about. A woman who O.D.'s on books--only hers are the high brow kind and I gravitate towards chick lit.

Around 7, I ate my dinner of an apple & peanut butter, and then my LA Lite bar, but then couldn't stop. I just kept eating. I had Luke's McD's ice cream that I bought for his sore throat that he only ate a few bites of, and because the texture wasn't quite what I wanted, I added a handful of frozen white chocolate chips. Then I had 2 packaged Rice Krispie treats, then a cereal bar. Then I went back to reading. Then I fell asleep, the sleep of the food coma.

Sophie's movie was over and she woke me up, so I set her up with PBS Sprout and started reading again. Then Luke woke up coughing, and I gave him medicine and put him back to sleep. It was after 9 and my husband still wasn't home. And then I ate the spare McD's ice cream, the one that was supposed to be for Sophie.

I really felt sick at that point, and didn't want any more food. Mark got home around 9:30, and he and Sophie hugged and talked and then it was her time for bed. She got to sleep around 10, and I washed my face and went to bed, thankfully still numb from the ice cream.

This morning I expected a gain from being bloated, but what the hell do I know about my body--I had a big loss. I'm guessing it won't stick around long and I'll be back up a bit tomorrow, which has been my pattern. But once the lower number is on the scale, it reappears within a week or so.


My lesson I'm trying to learn from all this is-- I'm not perfect. I'm going to have these food blowouts once in a while. They are still better than they used to be. A pint of Ben & Jerry's used to be my ice cream sin. Two of McD's faux ice creams aren't going to put 40 pounds back on.

And I'm back on plan today. I even waited to eat this morning until I felt really hungry. I craved that numb feeling from food last night, but you know what? The over full stomach and the bloating was really uncomfortable, and I hated it. And I used to live with that feeling on a regular basis. But it's not worth it any more.

At least, not on a regular basis. Last night, I needed the escape. And food was the only thing that would give me what I needed. Sad, but oh so true.

Day 165 - 162.8 - Stop the Insanity, please!

This is going to be an absolutely insane week.

What's going to drive me batty:
1) Day camp ended last week, but school doesn't start until next Monday, so Sophie will have different babysitters every day this week.

2) Luke is sick today; I had a sitter for 3 hours this morning, but now I'm home from work. He has a Dr. appt this afternoon, and I just hope he's okay to go to his regular sitter tomorrow.

3) We have two seminars for work this week-- Tuesday and Thursday nights. I have baby sitters lined out, the same girls watching Sophie during the day (two sisters taking turns, since they will be here for 12 hours straight). The prep work is mostly done, but phone calls before and after seminars are my job, and they are time consuming and make me a little nervous.

4) Our work internet system has been down all morning. I have new accounts to book and service to existing accounts that needs to be done. Not to mention we're in the middle of a stock market correction. (AHA! It's just now back up. Well, at least that's better now.)

5) My husband is a total ball of stress. Work, the Markets, sick kid and me out of the office-- he doesn't handle this stuff well.

6) I have a muscle injury under my right shoulder blade and it hurts like the devil. I have no time to visit the doctor/chiropractor/massage therapist. My husband will have to do his best to work it out through massage & pressure, when there's time.

7) My usual afternoon workouts are going to suffer. Not sure how, but I'm going to find time to get to the gym. Tonight, it will have to be after the kids are asleep if I'm going to go. We'll see.

But there's always something positive, if you look hard enough:
1) I got a great run in yesterday, and spent 69 total minutes on the treadmill for a total of 5.32 miles.

2) I do not have the desire to eat my way through this stress.

3) We had a date night Saturday, saw The Bourne Ultimatum (LOVED IT), and I had most of Sunday afternoon to myself, which was awesome.

4) I got two summer skorts on sale at Dress Barn and a couple of dress pants for work, all size 8s. EIGHT!

5) I finished Harry Potter 7 on Friday night. It was the best ever. Sad that it's over, but I plan to re-read book 6 when Mark is finished with it, because there's so much I forgot and want to revisit. And there are still two movies to look forward to which will be amazing and the best yet.

6) The scale is still moving down.


If my posting and commenting is spotty this week, you'll know why. Positive prayers and thoughts sent my way are always welcome!

Progress Pictures

I've added a couple of pictures from a few weeks ago, right after I hit 165 on my home scale. Scroll down, they are on the right side bar.

I also added a picture I found when I was at my heaviest weight back in December of 2005. Seeing that picture next to the others really shows what a difference the weight loss has made.

Day 162 - 163.6 Thoughts on My Body on Vacation

Vacation was great. Lots of fun, relaxing... everything it should be with 2 kids in the summer in Cincinnati. We did the Newport Aquarium and the Cinci Zoo the first two days. Then we moved from the Kings Island hotel to a new place and didn't budge. If you have a Great Wolf Lodge near a vacation destination and have kids, I highly recommend it. We didn't leave there for 2 days--the indoor water park and the kid's center were all we needed for fun.

I didn't exercise a lick while we were gone, and still haven't made it back to the gym. Planning on an easy run tonight to get back in the swing of things. Food wise-- I tried to make smart choices, eating like "a skinny person on vacation." I indulged some, I restrained some, I listened to what my body wanted. And I gained a couple pounds which are now gone, so all in all, I think it was a success.

It was refreshing to go to a water park and be comfortable with my body. I could get in and out of the inner tubes on the lazy river with ease. I walked around in my skirted suit bottom (love that suit style--no worries about saddle bags) and striped tankini top, and felt good.

Same with the rest of the trip. I had packed simply, and I felt good and looked good in everything I wore. The last time I remember being happy about how I looked on vacation was when I was 23 and went to Europe. I was a thin 140ish then, and didn't even know I looked as good as I did. But I was comfortable with my body then, as I am becoming now.

I still want to lose the rest of this weight and get to goal. My stomach is still very flabby and my waist is wide. My hips and thighs need some serious reducing. But I can dress in clothes to look like I weigh 130 pounds. Which is what my Niece-In-Law from Indianapolis said to me last week--that I look like I weigh 130 pounds. I just beamed with happiness at that nicest compliment ever.

Back from Vacation - 165.8

I gained a little, but expected it, and will have it off in no time.

I am swamped at work, and have no time to post, but will comment on your blogs when I'm back and have something meaningful to say.

Hope you are all doing well!

Day 157 - Official weight 164.8 (home weight 163.4)

Hit another goal-- below 165 "officially." I knew I'd be close at weigh in today, because the home scale showed 163.4 this morning. As of today, I am less than 20 pounds from goal. Hot damn!

I ran a fast run yesterday, according to my training plan. 1.5 miles @ 6.0 mph. I walked a quarter mile to recover, than ran another mile @ 5.4 mph. Total of 3.1 miles in 35ish minutes (I couldn't recall the seconds, for the life of me).

I was at the mall at lunch buying some hair care products, and detoured to Penney's to see what they have now. Lots of sales, and I tried on a size 8 straight skirt that was too tight, but I could zip it. It would fit in another 5 pounds. Didn't buy it, though, because I already have a straight business skirt waiting to fit me in the back of my closet. A pair of size 10 Worthington black pants fit beautifully. I didn't buy them either, because in 10 more pounds they'll be too big and I don't need a pair of black pants now in the middle of the summer. I almost bought a Medium short sleeved black sweater because it looked really cute on, but then noticed the stitching was poorly done at the V neck and didn't want to end up with a $20 rag.

Even though I didn't buy anything, it was fun trying a few things on. Kind of gave me some non-scale progress. I'm guessing I'll end up a size 6 at 145 pounds, if 10 pounds lost equals a size down. When I started this weight loss in February, I was hoping for a size 8 - 10. And I'm there now, with 20 pounds more to lose. I will be flying on a cloud the day I can wear a size 6 comfortably.

On the bad news front, I have a tooth that has finally cracked to the nerve, I guess, because drinking room temperature water shoots pain up through my gums. So I get to visit the dentist on Thursday and pray he can at least fix it temporarily so I can enjoy our weekend vacation in Cincinnati.

Day 156 - 164.4 Weekend review, HP Book 7

Thanks for all the nice comments, guys. I really appreciate it.

I did do my three miles, YES! And added .1 just to call it a 5K. I ran it in 34:24, which was 5.4 MPH. Not too shabby for my first virtual 5K. I stayed on the treadmill for a full 60 minutes since I had plenty of time and no kids in the Kids Club to pick up, for a total of 4.8 miles. I felt great afterwards, like I had climbed a mountain.

We had a lovely date. I wore a form fitting black dress (I had DH take a picture, which I'll eventually get around to posting) and felt really confident in it. Dinner was delicious (I'll spare you the food porn) and I stayed on plan. We walked down to Borders to gawk at the Harry Potter fans lined up to buy tickets for Book 7, and had fun watching the kids dressed up as HP with lightening bolts on their foreheads.

HP in IMAX was amazing. It's 3D at the end during the action sequence, and that was quite an incredible movie experience.

Saturday and Sunday, I got zero workouts in. We had a lot of family time, I got some laundry done, I'm 200 pages into HP Book 7, but didn't make it to the gym. Truly, to have gone, I would have had to make a big production of it with the rest of the plans we had, and I just thought it *healthier* to let my exercise go. So that's what I did.

But I'm feeling it mentally today. I just feel OFF, like things aren't quite right. Of course, staying up late reading and sleeping late this morning and getting to work late contributes to all that, but I can tell I haven't had that mental release that a good workout is giving me.

And that, my friends, is a huge revelation. To realize that 2 back-to-back days of no physical activity is NOT NORMAL for me. My brain doesn't like it, my body doesn't like it, and I don't like it. Thankfully, this afternoon I'll be on the treadmill, so all will right itself in about 3 hours.

And HP book 7 is awesome. I wish I could take a full day and do nothing but read. Since I can't, I'm torn about how to read it--savoring it slowly, or staying up late and ploughing through. I tend to plough, but life isn't really conducive to 1 a.m. nights for me now, so I need for force myself to slow down and savor.

That's not bad advice for the rest of my life right now-- slow down and savor.

Day 153 - 164.2 Date Night & Thoughts on Running

My daughter got an invitation for a sleep over tonight with a friend of hers from school, so I asked my mom to take the boy overnight so hubby and I can have a date.

I'm quite excited. We go out just the two of us on a fairly regular basis, probably every other month or so, but it's still a treat every time. Dinner is almost always at Bonefish Grill, and I've saved up 3 veggies, a protein, a starch, and a dairy, which is plenty for a nice dinner.

Then, Harry Potter at the IMAX. I saw HP on Monday, when I played hookie for half a day at work and took a mental health day, which included living vicariously through teenaged wizards. On Monday I specifically chose the "regular" theater because I knew DH would want to see it in IMAX, and it will still be a treat for me tonight. I can't wait to see it again. I know he's jail bait and I'm an old married lady, but Daniel Radcliffe makes my toes curl, esp. with his new haircut.

After work I'm going for a run, which I would so love to blow off and not have to shower and get ready again for our date, but I've got a race to train for and 22ish more pounds to lose so I'm going running. Today starts week 5 of my training, and I'm scheduled to run 3 miles. If I make it, it will be the first time I've run 3 miles straight through. I hope it goes well.

I have a feeling I'm going to have to always be training for some kind of race. Or have some kind of list to check off to keep me motivated and feeling like I'm accomplishing something. I need goals. I need lists. I need direction. Otherwise, I'm directionless and tend to let things go. I've got 8 more weeks to train for this 5K, and then I'll have to find something else.

There's a half marathon in Indianapolis in May that my niece-in-law (she's my age) is going to run, and I might train for that. It may be too soon to run 13 miles, so I'm not sure yet. Truly, I won't know what my body can do until I get to goal. An extra 22 pounds is a lot to carry around, and when it's gone and after I've had more weeks of consistent running in, I might be ready. We'll see.

What I do know is this-- Running is helping my weight move down. Running is keeping me in the gym. Running makes me feel like I can do anything. It's even making my arms look good--who knew I wouldn't have to lift weights to get a little definition in my shoulders and biceps and just had to run?! I sure had no idea.

I'm remember reading somewhere that a runner hits their peak after 6 or 7 years of training. That means, when I'm 43ish I'll be in the best running shape of my life. And I could deal with that. Running marathons in my 40s sounds like an impossible dream. But I'm on the path to making it a reality.

Maybe someday my kiddos will be at the finish line, waving signs and cheering me on. And proud of their fit Mom who runs marathons. Or they will be running beside me. Either way, that's a dream I want to come true.

Game ON Baby!

Fat Bloke Thin is having a weight loss throw down. Wanna join? Go leave him a comment. I'm totally in, and even if I don't win at least I played for fun (which sounds quite like my jr. high school volleyball efforts, by the way).

I love his blog. He's got T-shirts and everything!

Day 152 - 165.0 That's what 4 months of working out will do

So yesterday was nuts. I didn't get to the gym before picking up the kids like I try to do most nights, and I was fried from a long work day, and I forgot to bring the toddler's diaper bag with me, and I didn't change into my workout clothes before leaving work to get the kids, and I really needed to do a Target and grocery store run because the cupboards are bare. And you'd think all this combined would keep me from my workout.

Well, think again!

I went anyway. I asked Luke's sitter for two diapers, picked up Sophie from day camp, swung through McDonald's drive thru (I know, I know--I'm ruining their health with nuggets and fries; I'm sure they'll tell Oprah someday), and I was on that treadmill at 6:30 p.m.

I did 3.26 miles in 40 minutes, including my 2 mile run, and got home by 7:30. It was a late night for us all, but I felt great afterwards and so glad I didn't let the excuses get in the way of taking care of myself.

Day 150 - 165.8

Anytime you count up days or months or years, a "5" and a "0" in the total usually mean something significant.

And, truly, 150 days on plan is a big deal. I'm not throwing a party or anything, and I've pretty much treated myself to clothes that fit and expensive bras. No one will send me Congratulations! cards, because nobody knows. So in reality, it's not that big a deal.

Except here. This is the only place I can shout to the roof tops that I'VE BEEN ON PLAN FOR 150 DAYS! And if feels great! And it has paid off! And it's a FIRST!

I am proud of myself. I like myself so much more with food no longer as my (primary) source of comfort. My husband called me skinny this morning while I was in my undies getting ready for work. The rewards of consistency aren't just smaller clothes and a thinner body. It's all this intangible stuff, too.
*****

Work is so busy right now, I've had no time to read my favorite blogs and I feel like I'm cut off from my friends! Evenings just don't allow me time for me, so if I don't get some time during the day, I just don't get the time. It's good that work is busy--we are self employed and busy means we're earning money, so I really shouldn't complain.
*****

Running went fabulously yesterday. I ended up doing 5K in 34:50. I warmed up, as usual, with a .25 mile walk, then ran 2.25 miles @ 5.5 mph, then walked for about 2 minutes, and I was only .5 miles away from 3.1 miles. So I just kicked it up to 5.8 mph and finished a 5K on the treadmill. First time for that, and I was thrilled to be able to run 2.85 miles in one session, and at decent speeds.

Saturday, I ran outside for the first time. Holy cow, what a difference. First, it was 4 p.m. and even though the humidity was low and there was a breeze, the sun was beating down on me and I was hot hot hot. Second, I couldn't figure out my pace, so I'd run too fast, then have to slow down and walk, then I'd try to run slower but end up being too fast again. So it was a lot of walk/running. Last, the concrete doesn't give back like the treadmill. The treadmill, miraculously I see now, gives a bit of energy back to my feet, whereas the concrete just sucks it right down into the ground and gives nothing back. I'm glad I have until September to prepare for this 5K race, because after I've got the distance built on the treadmill, I've got to do a whole new round of training to just get used to hard surface running.

To all of you I check in with on a regular basis, I miss you and hope you are doing fabulously well, and I'll be seeing you again soon.

Day 146 - 40 POUNDS LOST

Weigh in today was a momentous event. My official weight is 167.0, which is a 40.2 pounds total loss.

Yippee!

22 pounds left until I reach goal.

DAy 145 - 166.4 - Run, Pants, Plan

Yesterday's run sucked.

I guess, in reality, it wasn't that bad. It was a 2 mile fartlek, and my average speed was 5.5 mph, but I just wasn't feeling it. It wasn't hot in the gym and I had a fan on me, so it wasn't that. I had eaten a good lunch and drank lots of water during the day and before my run, so fueling wasn't the problem. I was just off.

The good thing, I suppose, is that I went, I stuck it out, and finished the 2 miles. I only had enough time for 33 minutes total, so it was a short workout which was probably for the best.

That run is the end of week 3 of my 5K training. 3 weeks with 4 days each running. First time I've done that--ever. Last year when I started C25K, I weighed 200 pounds. It's no wonder running is easier. I doubt that I could run very well now with my toddler hanging on my body, and that's how much I've lost since last summer.
****
Today I am wearing the Size 8 khaki pants from Dress Barn that I bought a couple months ago. They fit perfectly. The waist band lies flat, they aren't too tight in the bottom or legs, and they look so cute with the wide leg cuffs. I'm wearing the same blue & white picnic check shirt that I've got on in the pic on this site, and it fits loosely now, the buttons lay completely flat and the cap sleeves are loose around my arms. I can pinch about 1/2 inch of fabric on each side of my waist. I love seeing progress in my clothes.
****
I got my new food plan at LA WL yesterday. In some ways, it's worse. I lost a fruit--only 2 per day now. Two fruits a day is plenty, you say. Well, yes, except I count my Starbucks latte as a milk and a fruit, so there's one. And if I have a NutriGrain bar for breakfast or as a snack, that's a starch and a fruit, so there's two. This morning I was exhausted but hungry and had no time to cook, so I ate a cereal bar. I've had my latte, of course--can't live without that. Now, I have no fruits left but have a delicious fresh peach that I brought for lunch sitting on my desk.

You bet, I'm gonna eat that peach.

They added 1/2 a protein, a starch, a dairy, and a fat. I love the idea of more dairy so I can have more than just my latte each day, and who couldn't eat an extra starch without effort? But the fat--that one's got me. Butter is supposed to be "infrequent." I hate margarine, and it's on the allowed list. Usually I eat 15 pistachios (now, though, it's 12) or use a tsp of butter on my eggs, and that's my fat for the day. I get headaches from almost all other nuts, so I can't eat those. And do there even exist salt free sunflower seeds? Cause I could have a Tbsp of those if they do--guess I'm gonna have to look for them. I don't like avocados or olives, and I have to actually cook to use olive oil. So, this extra fat has me in a quandary.

Maybe my peach can be a fat?

Day 144 - Food Addiction

The Shrinking Knitter had a great post today on food addiction, and my comment was ridiculously long, so I thought I'd spare her readers my "all about me" missive and put the voluminous response over here.

Before I started LA Weight Loss in February, I was addicted to sugar/flour/fat combination foods. I really just could not stop myself from buying donuts and/or ice cream on a daily basis. I would walk through Target, tell myself I would NOT buy the powdered donettes, and yet they'd be in my cart anyway. Like someone else was operating my body and I had no choice in the matter. That box would be gone in a day.

Even when I was on Weight Watchers, I would overeat the WW snack cakes, sometimes the whole box in one day (ONLY 12 points, and I still had 10 points for healthy food! What a deal!). And don't forget Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, only 2 points each. I played the same points game with those.

When I started my current plan this year, I went through 2 days of cleansing, basically--proteins and veggies only. It sucked, and I did go through withdrawal. It got easier after that, and since I'm on a food exchange program (3 veggies, 2 fruits, 3 starches, etc), I'm free to choose what I eat but within boundaries.

I am not sugar free, I am not carb free, I am not caffeine free. I am, however, very balanced and have set limits of the types of food I can eat.

It's these prescribed limits and the accountability of meeting with a weight counselor (and weighing in) 3 times a week that finally clicked for me. I can't buy donuts, you see, because they aren't on the plan. I can have ice cream, if it's low fat and SF and 1/2 cup, and it counts as a starch (just this past weekend I had ice cream for the first time in 20 weeks; haven't had a donut since February).

So, I haven't gotten rid of the substances that might cause my brain to be addicted to food, but I have gotten rid of the *combination* of substances (fat/sugar/flour) and also of the learned helplessness (or whatever fancy psycho term I should use here) that made me act like a robot around those addictive foods.

I still have cravings once a month for starchy/sugary/chocolatey foods, and obviously those are hormonal/brain induced cravings. I usually eat too much for a couple days a month, but my "too much" now is 300 or 400 calories in one sitting and it's with on-plan foods.

Ultimately, I think every one has to overcome their addictions differently, and no matter what science comes up with, there will never be a one size fits all solution.

Day 143 - 167.2

Ahhhh, that's better. Bye bye water weight.

Tonight-- our second Ballrooom Dancing class at our church. We had so much fun last week at the first class. It was surprising how many dance steps we learned, and actually were dancing--real dancing--by the end of the hour. There were 2 other couples in our group of friends who attended, and 11 couples all together. They provide child care, too, so the kids are taken care of.

Since we have that tonight, I'm planning on working out at lunch, which I don't really want to do because I actually do get sweaty when I run and getting ready for work twice in one day is not my idea of fun. But, I have a running plan that I must stick to and a goal to reach, so if I have to take two showers in one day, that's just the way it is. =)

EDITED AFTER LUNCH TO ADD:
There's a reason I work out at the end of the day. I am so stinking tired right now, after 45 minutes in a hot and humid gym (I don't know what the problem is with the air conditioning in that place. WS, I have no idea how you run in the Florida heat and humidity!). I still have 2 hours of work, ballroom dance lessons, and 2 kids to entertain and put to bed tonight. I hope I find some energy somewhere soon.

On the "official weight" front, I was at 169.0 at LA WL today (I weighed in before working out). They didn't have the new program stuff together yet, so I'm going back tomorrow to find out how much more food I get. Can't wait.

Day 142 - 168.6

Today was so busy at work I had no time to read any blogs, no time to go to LA WL to weigh in and get my new plan, and no time to eat lunch until almost 4 p.m. Busy in our business is good, but this is crazy.

I'm in my water-retention portion of my monthly cycle, so the scale is up a bit. It's good that I track things closely so I realize this upward movement is what it is, or else I'd be easily discouraged.

My runs on Friday and Saturday were awesome. Speed training and the mere fact that I'm running on a regular basis are helping me improve already. Check it out-- 2 continuous miles at 5.5 mph. That's 11 minute miles. And my fastest mile to date on Saturday--a 10 minute mile. The best part is--I didn't feel like I was going to die on either run. The 10 min mile was NOT easy by any means, but my breathing was reasonable and after walking for a bit, I wanted to run another mile and did.

Today was a rest day, because yesterday was a killer cardio class followed by 45 minutes of pilates, and my legs are dying and need the rest. I hate not going to the gym, but know it's better not to push it and injure myself.

By the end of this week, I'll have been working out on a regular basis for four months. Four months, in the scheme of things, is nothing. But it's four months of good work that's gotten me results. And it's a good foundation for the rest of my active, fit life.

Day 139 - 167.8

No time to post the past few days. My daughter was sick yesterday so I was home with her. Man, I did NOT like being stuck in my house in the middle of hormonal cravings. It was a tough food day for me. Plus, no gym.

Today is back to normal. I've got a run planned for this afternoon--an easy 2 miles. And back on track food wise. My official weight at LA is now 169.8. I'm 24.8 pounds from goal.

LA is rolling out a new food plan on Monday. They are upping the quantities of food we can eat, which is awesome. I don't know much yet, but know it's all good. For example: 1 veggie used to be 1 c. lettuce. Now it's 3 c. lettuce=1 veggie. And a dairy serving will go from 8 oz to 10 oz. And I'll get 3 starches instead of 2. They tested it for 6 months and people lost MORE weight on this plan. So, more food and still losing weight... sounds like a winner to me. And just in time to keep me from going into a plateau. That P words scares the dickens out of me. Not even going there right now!

I probably won't be around much until next week. It's a busy summer weekend ahead that I plan to enjoy in the real world with my family. But I'll be thinking of you all!

Hugs and kisses to you, my cyber friends. Have a healthy, happy weekend.

Day 136 - 168.0 My Favorite Things

Something a little different today. I wanted to share some finds that have made life more enjoyable.

Rimmel Sweet Stuff Lipstick-- I am a lipstick/lip gloss junkie. I bought this one last week when I couldn't find my favorite Maybelline color. Oh my. Lipstick that tastes and smells like berries. If I could, I'd eat it. It feels great, too, very soft. It's more of a gloss than a stick, and so the coverage is light (it wears off quickly, but that just gives me more opportunity to enjoy the luscious smell). I have two colors now--Be First and Intimate.

Fiber Gourmet Pasta-- I ordered this after a review by Pasta Queen. SO glad I did. It tastes great and I don't feel guilty about eating pasta. I eat mine topped with 1/2 c. Classico Pasta Sauce (currently their Fire Roasted Tomato) and 1/2 c. steamed chopped zucchini. Yummy. DH loves it too.

Laura Geller Balance & Brighten-- I've had this product since last Fall, but couldn't wear it because it was too yellow/tan for my skin. Now that I have a light tan, my regular foundation (Mineral Essence) is too light. I've been putting this on top of my foundation, but was looking too cake-y. This morning I dotted some concealer on my zits and only used the Balance & Brighten. My skin looks plenty covered, nicely tanned, and not cake-y. I am pleasantly pleased with the results, and thrilled I don't have to go buy another foundation color that I'll only use for a few more months.

iPod Shuffle-- Not that Apple needs my approval of anything, but I absolutely could NOT run without this baby. It is so light weight and clips onto my shorts easily. I can change songs while running, no sweat. It's plenty roomy enough for hours of songs, so I don't get bored with my song selections. Love. It.

I need a New Favorite Thing which I can't find-- the perfect water bottle. I'm currently just refilling my Evian bottle with the red flip top, but the flip top thingy keeps breaking and I have to spend $1.19 to buy a new one every other week or so. Any suggestions?

Day 135 - 168.0 Slowing Down

Down 1.8 pounds since last Monday, and 4.2 pounds in 2 weeks.

But only 4.6 pounds in 3 weeks. And 4.8 pounds in 4 weeks.

The loss continues, but it's slowing down. I really do feel lucky that my body continues to cooperate with me. Because, I know, it could rebel any day.

I've been averaging "official" losses at LAWL of 1.6 pounds a week for the past month. Which is fabulous, but I had been averaging 2+ pounds a week. And that's my PLAN, after all.

2 pounds a week = reach goal weight by September 21.

So in my screwed up way of looking at my weight, I've been kind of hard on myself about it. A little disappointed even. Wondering what I'm doing wrong and what I need to change.

Well that nonsense stops TODAY.

2 pounds a week consistently over 31 weeks is unreasonable. Frankly, it's bullsh!t. Who is LA Weight Loss to tell me what my body is going to do for me? All I can do is the best I can do, follow the plan the best I can, and my body is going to do what it wants.

Clearly, it still wants to lose weight. It likes movement and healthy food and it's being lovingly cooperative.

At some point in the near future, I know it will rebel. Not wanna go any further. Make me squeeze out every last ounce of loss so each .2 pounds will be a victory. So I'll have to push it and tug it along, like I do my almost-2 year old when I want him to leave the playground.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying my lifestyle. It's not a burden, this new way of life-- turning down junk food and getting to the gym 5 or 6 days a week. I like putting myself first, making my health a priority. Thankfully I've got results now--smaller clothes, faster and longer miles--so the going is easier. And the rewards continue.

And when I start to whine in the future about not losing fast enough? Someone please knock some sense into me and tell me to snap out of it. Thank God you're all there to keep me sane.