I've done many different diets over the past 20 years, and the majority of them failed. What I've learned from my successful diet ventures--LA Weight Loss and Crack the Fat Loss Code--is that, when it comes to losing weight, I can't count.
If I count calories, I fail. If I count Points, I fail. If I count molecules, I fail. (Okay so I've never counted cellular matter, but I didn't have a 3rd thing to count & these things have to come in threes).
But, if I have an exchange program where I know how much food & what kind of food I can eat, then it works for me. That was how LAWL's plan was structured--so many proteins, so many veggies, so many starches, and so on. And that's how the Crack plan works--breakfast is a protein/starch, lunch is a protein/fat/veggie, snacks are protein, dinner is protein/veggie.
What also works is eliminating (for the most part) refined carbs from my daily diet. My Diet Nemesis (a.k.a. night time cravings) is gone. I don't crave junk food when I'm stressed. I don't need something sweet after I finish a meal.
The power of destruction of simple sugars in the body is mind blowing. Get rid of the simple sugars, and life is much more stable.
Wanna know the results from my first week? As of today, I've lost 3.8 pounds (since last Monday). I weighed 155.4 this morning. My loss has slowed the past two days, and I'm not sure if it's because (a) that's normal because I lost a big amount in the first 6 days, (b) I'm not eating enough (I'm not--the new meds are killing my appetite), or (c) I'm not exercising enough (I'm not doing this either).
In case it's (b) or (c), I'm making changes. I ate a good breakfast this morning, which I haven't been doing. And I'm planning on running at least 3 miles this afternoon, which will be the first time I've run since Saturday (when I got in 3 miles).
On the medication front, I think Pristiq is helping, but it's hard to be sure. I had some funky side affects this weekend. I felt really spacey & I was really tired. I slept 9 hours Sunday night & Monday morning I woke up and still felt hung over. This morning is better. I'm not under a black cloud, so at least that's a positive feeling. But I'm not overly positive--no uphill roller coaster feelings right now.
Oh, & I signed up to run our city's half marathon on October 11th. Training starts today.
The plan is to stay the course and pray for everyone's health to continue to be stable so I can keep up a semblance of normality. Normal is always a good thing.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
The plan is working!
Despite my lack of exercise this week, my weight is going down. I was 156.6 this morning. I will take it.
Helen, who is also doing the Crack diet, commented on my last post that it makes the night time snack desires go away. & I would second that. I guess because I'm not pouring carbs into my body during the day, it's not craving them at night when I stop feeding it.
It's rather magical, actually.
I will admit I caved & had a little square of Green & Black's chocolate yesterday. I have an emergency bar in my desk. It was one tiny inconsequential square, but you know what? About 30 minutes later I was craving more chocolate. Funny how that works. (& I didn't eat any more chocolate, by the way. I sort of learned my lesson with that one piece.)
So I'm giving the body the food it needs to burn some fat. Unfortunately, I still haven't made time to run or workout. Work is crazy busy & I'm not a morning workout person & up until today I had nothing left after taking care of the kids & working all day. Those are the excuses anyway.
Today I am finally starting to feel the fog lift from my brain. Whether it's the new medicine or simply the end of my hormonal swing, it doesn't matter. I feel better. That's what counts.
Helen, who is also doing the Crack diet, commented on my last post that it makes the night time snack desires go away. & I would second that. I guess because I'm not pouring carbs into my body during the day, it's not craving them at night when I stop feeding it.
It's rather magical, actually.
I will admit I caved & had a little square of Green & Black's chocolate yesterday. I have an emergency bar in my desk. It was one tiny inconsequential square, but you know what? About 30 minutes later I was craving more chocolate. Funny how that works. (& I didn't eat any more chocolate, by the way. I sort of learned my lesson with that one piece.)
So I'm giving the body the food it needs to burn some fat. Unfortunately, I still haven't made time to run or workout. Work is crazy busy & I'm not a morning workout person & up until today I had nothing left after taking care of the kids & working all day. Those are the excuses anyway.
Today I am finally starting to feel the fog lift from my brain. Whether it's the new medicine or simply the end of my hormonal swing, it doesn't matter. I feel better. That's what counts.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
The diet & the doc
So the diet has gone well so far. 2 days on plan, & I'm down to 157.8 this morning. Mark is staying tough, too. Today is a carb up day, which is nice because it's more lenient (but I'm not going nuts & having cookies or anything) but really the past two days haven't been that hard. Once I get that plan & make up my mind that THIS IS IT, it's a lot easier for me to stick to it.
The nighttime food cravings pretty much went away the first day. Weird, huh? Vickie wrote about how the body craves junk food when we are feeding it junk food. When we feed it good stuff, the junk food cravings go away (mostly...I'm under no illusion that I'm far from finished with this food fight).
I haven't exercised though. & I miss running terribly. Work is crazy, which is good & bad. And I've been pretty down for the past five days, which makes overcoming the excuses not to workout that much harder. I'll get in at least 30 minutes today while Sophie's at swim class, so at least there's that.
Yesterday's appointment with the psychiatrist went well. It was tough. I had to drag up a lot of crap from the past 15 years so she could understand why I've been on antidepressants. I talked about my post partum depression after Sophie's birth, and after I described it to her she said I actually had nearly had a post partum psychosis. Nice. That was a pleasant thing to learn.
The bottom line is--I'm on a new antidepressant called pristiq. She's not convinced that I don't have a form of bipolar disorder, because I do have some hypo-mania symptoms & the post partum symptoms are also signs of bipolar disorder. But truly, the hypo-mania symptoms and the extreme up & down moods have only been around since I've been on wellbutrin (I asked Mark to confirm that, & he agreed). She wants to treat the depression first & see if the bipolar symptoms go away or intensify on this medicine (which is an SNRI and not an SSRI like all the other meds I've taken).
Oh, & the first thing I did when I got back from the appointment was google pristiq & weight gain. It's a new drug (been out almost a year) but I don't see any horror stories of weight gain yet. And if you're going to gain weight on an antidepressant, it's gonna happen within the first few months, so I think I'm safe with this one. If anything, I might lose weight from it. Loss of appetite & weight loss are side effects (which is fine by me).
So I'll take the new medication for 3 weeks (I had been tapering off wellbutrin over the past month & my last dose was over a week ago) and go see her again, and we'll see what's next. I'm really glad I'm seeing her about this, & not just letting my GP handle it anymore. Kind of wish I'd been seeing a psychiatrist all along.
But, man, it's so much harder to sit in a psychiatrist's waiting room than in a family practice waiting room. It's like going to the gym-- sometimes the toughest part is just walking through the door. When you're done, though, you're glad you went.
The nighttime food cravings pretty much went away the first day. Weird, huh? Vickie wrote about how the body craves junk food when we are feeding it junk food. When we feed it good stuff, the junk food cravings go away (mostly...I'm under no illusion that I'm far from finished with this food fight).
I haven't exercised though. & I miss running terribly. Work is crazy, which is good & bad. And I've been pretty down for the past five days, which makes overcoming the excuses not to workout that much harder. I'll get in at least 30 minutes today while Sophie's at swim class, so at least there's that.
Yesterday's appointment with the psychiatrist went well. It was tough. I had to drag up a lot of crap from the past 15 years so she could understand why I've been on antidepressants. I talked about my post partum depression after Sophie's birth, and after I described it to her she said I actually had nearly had a post partum psychosis. Nice. That was a pleasant thing to learn.
The bottom line is--I'm on a new antidepressant called pristiq. She's not convinced that I don't have a form of bipolar disorder, because I do have some hypo-mania symptoms & the post partum symptoms are also signs of bipolar disorder. But truly, the hypo-mania symptoms and the extreme up & down moods have only been around since I've been on wellbutrin (I asked Mark to confirm that, & he agreed). She wants to treat the depression first & see if the bipolar symptoms go away or intensify on this medicine (which is an SNRI and not an SSRI like all the other meds I've taken).
Oh, & the first thing I did when I got back from the appointment was google pristiq & weight gain. It's a new drug (been out almost a year) but I don't see any horror stories of weight gain yet. And if you're going to gain weight on an antidepressant, it's gonna happen within the first few months, so I think I'm safe with this one. If anything, I might lose weight from it. Loss of appetite & weight loss are side effects (which is fine by me).
So I'll take the new medication for 3 weeks (I had been tapering off wellbutrin over the past month & my last dose was over a week ago) and go see her again, and we'll see what's next. I'm really glad I'm seeing her about this, & not just letting my GP handle it anymore. Kind of wish I'd been seeing a psychiatrist all along.
But, man, it's so much harder to sit in a psychiatrist's waiting room than in a family practice waiting room. It's like going to the gym-- sometimes the toughest part is just walking through the door. When you're done, though, you're glad you went.
Monday, July 06, 2009
It's Official
I'm back on a diet.
I haven't been able to get myself together enough to lose any weight. Without a bonafide plan, I'm all over the place and can't string together enough healthy meals (let alone days of success) in order to drop these extra pounds I've picked up over the last few months.
This morning I was 159.4, which frankly wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I drank a lot of tasty beverages over the 4th of July weekend. I ate a lot of red meat. I had ice cream a few times. I didn't run once.
159.4 was a gift.
And while I don't think I look hideous by any means, I have become uncomfortable with the extra fat. My capri's are tight. My belly roll is more roll-ey. I can't wear some of my work dresses because they are too tight.
So it's time.
I started version #2 of the Crack diet (Conquer the Fat Loss Code is the new book). And this will make it easier--Mark is doing it with me.
The plan is 8 weeks long. I think I can get 15 pounds off in 8 weeks. If not, I'll start it over until I do. 145 is the goal. I'd love to reach 140, but there's no reason to get all pie in the sky here. 146 was a skinny weight for me last year. 145 will be perfect. I won't have to buy any new clothes at 145. I'm not sure that's the case if I reach 140.
And I know I can run much faster at 145. That's another motivation, of course.
I'll be keeping it real here. You guys are my accountability people. Hold me accountable.
Oh, and tomorrow is my first psychiatrist appointment. I haven't taken wellbutrin for a week now. I've been on a down cycle since Thursday, so I'm not sure if that's a withdrawal effect or if it's my normal mid-cycle blahs (which is what it feels like). But I'm no longer going up & down on a daily basis, which is what was happening a month ago. I still feel broken, though. I hope the doctor can fix me.
***
Random Twilight chatter: Finished Eclipse yesterday afternoon & read Breaking Dawn until 1 a.m. No wonder people plow through these. I couldn't put them down. Yesterday I pretty much zoned out with Edward & Bella all day. I'm only 250ish pages in, and I wish I could finish it today. It will be this week, I'm sure. Too bad I've got to work and can't read for a living.
I haven't been able to get myself together enough to lose any weight. Without a bonafide plan, I'm all over the place and can't string together enough healthy meals (let alone days of success) in order to drop these extra pounds I've picked up over the last few months.
This morning I was 159.4, which frankly wasn't as bad as I'd expected. I drank a lot of tasty beverages over the 4th of July weekend. I ate a lot of red meat. I had ice cream a few times. I didn't run once.
159.4 was a gift.
And while I don't think I look hideous by any means, I have become uncomfortable with the extra fat. My capri's are tight. My belly roll is more roll-ey. I can't wear some of my work dresses because they are too tight.
So it's time.
I started version #2 of the Crack diet (Conquer the Fat Loss Code is the new book). And this will make it easier--Mark is doing it with me.
The plan is 8 weeks long. I think I can get 15 pounds off in 8 weeks. If not, I'll start it over until I do. 145 is the goal. I'd love to reach 140, but there's no reason to get all pie in the sky here. 146 was a skinny weight for me last year. 145 will be perfect. I won't have to buy any new clothes at 145. I'm not sure that's the case if I reach 140.
And I know I can run much faster at 145. That's another motivation, of course.
I'll be keeping it real here. You guys are my accountability people. Hold me accountable.
Oh, and tomorrow is my first psychiatrist appointment. I haven't taken wellbutrin for a week now. I've been on a down cycle since Thursday, so I'm not sure if that's a withdrawal effect or if it's my normal mid-cycle blahs (which is what it feels like). But I'm no longer going up & down on a daily basis, which is what was happening a month ago. I still feel broken, though. I hope the doctor can fix me.
***
Random Twilight chatter: Finished Eclipse yesterday afternoon & read Breaking Dawn until 1 a.m. No wonder people plow through these. I couldn't put them down. Yesterday I pretty much zoned out with Edward & Bella all day. I'm only 250ish pages in, and I wish I could finish it today. It will be this week, I'm sure. Too bad I've got to work and can't read for a living.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Wednesday Brain Dump
I'm not feeling very coherent today, but it's been a while since I posted so I figured I ought to at least get an update out here.
On the weight front, I was 158.2 yesterday. I'm heading in the right direction, albeit slowly. I've not been very strict with my food & I only worked out twice last week, so I suppose I should be happy with the loss since vacation.
I finally got to run outside yesterday. The sun was hot, but the humidity was down & it was in the low 80s. It felt great to finally run on pavement again. I'd missed it terribly.
My free time lately has been taken up with the Twilight series. I read Twilight on vacation, then read New Moon last week (not the best book to read if you're already in vacation let-down mode... the middle section is quite depressing). I watched the movie on Monday, and again on Tuesday. I'm reading Eclipse now. I love this series. I don't want to finish the books too quickly, because I want the relationships with these characters to go on, but they are so hard to put down. So it's a catch 22. I did find the author's website has an unpublished manuscript from Edward's point of view, so at least I'll have that to read once I finish Breaking Dawn. & New Moon the movie comes out in November. Thankfully my circle of girlfriends are gaga over Edward, too, so we are all going together to the movie.
Our 4th of July weekend is already packed with plans. Hopefully the rain will stay away because our plans include 2 pool parties.
I'm planning another run this afternoon if the rain stays away. It should be even cooler today than yesterday.
On the mental health front, I've got an appointment to see a psychiatrist on July 7th. I've been weaning myself off of wellbutrin, & it's helping the mood swings get farther apart. I'm feeling down today, but yesterday I felt great. I can tell this is a downward cycle today. I'm so glad I'm getting help & pray we get the meds figured out before I go through another winter SAD season. I'm just ready to get off this roller coaster ride that's been my life since I was a teenager.
Sophie is doing great. We are so blessed. Whether it's the ADHD meds or the migraine meds, something is keeping her dizzy spells away. She's not had one since May 7th, and that one lasted only 4 days, and before that she'd had a long spell in mid March. I do not think it's a coincidence that she started straterra on March 14th, and since then she's had one spell that lasted 4 days. When I looked up medications that treat migraine, straterra was listed. She's really slimmed down this summer, too. I bought her size 14 shorts from Justice in March, and they are falling off of her. She can wear her 10s from last summer. She's getting taller & her legs are getting longer and I think she's thinning out from being more active.
Luke is a charmer. Still. Love that boy.
Mark is struggling lately. He's under a lot of stress, hasn't been able to work out since vacation. He can't find his groove. I'm praying for him & doing whatever I can to help, which isn't much. He's got a lot on his plate.
It's July. That means Christmas will be here next week. Seriously, when July 1st gets here, it's all down hill till the end of the year. Time flies so quickly in the summer and fall months.
Hope you all enjoy the fireworks on Saturday.
On the weight front, I was 158.2 yesterday. I'm heading in the right direction, albeit slowly. I've not been very strict with my food & I only worked out twice last week, so I suppose I should be happy with the loss since vacation.
I finally got to run outside yesterday. The sun was hot, but the humidity was down & it was in the low 80s. It felt great to finally run on pavement again. I'd missed it terribly.
My free time lately has been taken up with the Twilight series. I read Twilight on vacation, then read New Moon last week (not the best book to read if you're already in vacation let-down mode... the middle section is quite depressing). I watched the movie on Monday, and again on Tuesday. I'm reading Eclipse now. I love this series. I don't want to finish the books too quickly, because I want the relationships with these characters to go on, but they are so hard to put down. So it's a catch 22. I did find the author's website has an unpublished manuscript from Edward's point of view, so at least I'll have that to read once I finish Breaking Dawn. & New Moon the movie comes out in November. Thankfully my circle of girlfriends are gaga over Edward, too, so we are all going together to the movie.
Our 4th of July weekend is already packed with plans. Hopefully the rain will stay away because our plans include 2 pool parties.
I'm planning another run this afternoon if the rain stays away. It should be even cooler today than yesterday.
On the mental health front, I've got an appointment to see a psychiatrist on July 7th. I've been weaning myself off of wellbutrin, & it's helping the mood swings get farther apart. I'm feeling down today, but yesterday I felt great. I can tell this is a downward cycle today. I'm so glad I'm getting help & pray we get the meds figured out before I go through another winter SAD season. I'm just ready to get off this roller coaster ride that's been my life since I was a teenager.
Sophie is doing great. We are so blessed. Whether it's the ADHD meds or the migraine meds, something is keeping her dizzy spells away. She's not had one since May 7th, and that one lasted only 4 days, and before that she'd had a long spell in mid March. I do not think it's a coincidence that she started straterra on March 14th, and since then she's had one spell that lasted 4 days. When I looked up medications that treat migraine, straterra was listed. She's really slimmed down this summer, too. I bought her size 14 shorts from Justice in March, and they are falling off of her. She can wear her 10s from last summer. She's getting taller & her legs are getting longer and I think she's thinning out from being more active.
Luke is a charmer. Still. Love that boy.
Mark is struggling lately. He's under a lot of stress, hasn't been able to work out since vacation. He can't find his groove. I'm praying for him & doing whatever I can to help, which isn't much. He's got a lot on his plate.
It's July. That means Christmas will be here next week. Seriously, when July 1st gets here, it's all down hill till the end of the year. Time flies so quickly in the summer and fall months.
Hope you all enjoy the fireworks on Saturday.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Real life doesn't suck
I still don't have enough time to blog, or read your blogs which is most unfortunate for me, but thought I'd put up a quickie post. Work is crazy, home is a mess (I just unpacked last night, & am still doing my laundry from the trip), and summer evenings are late for the family. Not much time for the things I love, like blogging.
Monday was horrible. I was so vacation sick, it tore me up inside. I didn't want real life. I wanted my island life back.
Tuesday was better. Getting to workout helped. Yesterday was full fledged normal, & it felt good. I decided that I can deal with real life as it is, & maybe even work to make it better.
Tuesday I ran 2 miles on the treadmill (dangerously hot here) & lifted weights on actual weight machines at the gym. First time I've done that at the Y. It's probably been 10 years since I touched a weight machine. Lucky for me they are mostly idiot proof. Whatever I did was effective since I've got sore muscles.
Yesterday I walked 2 miles with my friend at the Y while our kids had swim lessons. Not much, but better than nothing.
Tonight I'm running 30 minutes & lifting weights for 30 minutes.
I'm building up some consistency with working out before I increase the amount of time I exercise. I went 2 weeks without any exercise. I missed it terribly.
Unless swimming in the ocean while on vacation counts. Which sort of does, but the swimming was offset by the countless Bushwhackers I drank on St. John (the best alcoholic drink ever invented, IMO).
We did have an awesome vacation. One of these days I'll detail the fun. The pictures really tell a better story, though. I had no idea I could feel so confident & happy in a bathing suit & revealing clothing. Maybe it was the sea air. Or the drinks. Whatever, I'll take it. I had a blast.
& I was definitely not at my skinniest weight on this trip. I weighed 157 when we left. I weighed 161 when we got home. Yesterday I was down to 159.8. I've got some work to do, but something strange is going on with me. I care about my weight, & I'm working on getting back into my comfy zone of 150-152, but I'm not destroyed over the gain. I'm not walking around all mopey & depressed because my body isn't perfect.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not "giving up" & staying at 159--I can't run fast for very long and my pants are snugger than I like. But I still look great. And I feel great. So why obsess over 10 lousy pounds? They'll come off as they come off, while I'm living my life healthfully & happily.
I think it was being able to physically do so much on St John--like swimming, hiking, walking, without ever feeling out of shape or tired--& look so good on St John, & be so happy on St John. The vacation mojo has carried over to real life. I hope it sticks around for a long long time.
Monday was horrible. I was so vacation sick, it tore me up inside. I didn't want real life. I wanted my island life back.
Tuesday was better. Getting to workout helped. Yesterday was full fledged normal, & it felt good. I decided that I can deal with real life as it is, & maybe even work to make it better.
Tuesday I ran 2 miles on the treadmill (dangerously hot here) & lifted weights on actual weight machines at the gym. First time I've done that at the Y. It's probably been 10 years since I touched a weight machine. Lucky for me they are mostly idiot proof. Whatever I did was effective since I've got sore muscles.
Yesterday I walked 2 miles with my friend at the Y while our kids had swim lessons. Not much, but better than nothing.
Tonight I'm running 30 minutes & lifting weights for 30 minutes.
I'm building up some consistency with working out before I increase the amount of time I exercise. I went 2 weeks without any exercise. I missed it terribly.
Unless swimming in the ocean while on vacation counts. Which sort of does, but the swimming was offset by the countless Bushwhackers I drank on St. John (the best alcoholic drink ever invented, IMO).
We did have an awesome vacation. One of these days I'll detail the fun. The pictures really tell a better story, though. I had no idea I could feel so confident & happy in a bathing suit & revealing clothing. Maybe it was the sea air. Or the drinks. Whatever, I'll take it. I had a blast.
& I was definitely not at my skinniest weight on this trip. I weighed 157 when we left. I weighed 161 when we got home. Yesterday I was down to 159.8. I've got some work to do, but something strange is going on with me. I care about my weight, & I'm working on getting back into my comfy zone of 150-152, but I'm not destroyed over the gain. I'm not walking around all mopey & depressed because my body isn't perfect.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not "giving up" & staying at 159--I can't run fast for very long and my pants are snugger than I like. But I still look great. And I feel great. So why obsess over 10 lousy pounds? They'll come off as they come off, while I'm living my life healthfully & happily.
I think it was being able to physically do so much on St John--like swimming, hiking, walking, without ever feeling out of shape or tired--& look so good on St John, & be so happy on St John. The vacation mojo has carried over to real life. I hope it sticks around for a long long time.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Fabulous
I'll write more when I have a minute--catching up from vacation is going to take weeks.
But I wanted to share a few pictures & let you all know we had the best time.
I found the blue dress on St John.
My girlfriends convinced me to buy it. I'm so glad I did, because it made me feel beautiful.
But I wanted to share a few pictures & let you all know we had the best time.
I found the blue dress on St John.
My girlfriends convinced me to buy it. I'm so glad I did, because it made me feel beautiful.
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