Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Disney Princess 2015

I finished the half marathon without injury or issue. The first 5
miles I kept up a pace around 14:30-15:00 by walking and jogging

Then I hit the Magic Kingdom and my pace went south. I stopped to take
a couple selfies and text people and then there was a bottle neck as
we went through the castle.

At mile 7 I was only 45 sec ahead of pace (16 min mile is pace to
finish to avoid being swept). At that point in the course, we are
mostly down to one lane highways or paths and it is shoulder to
shoulder the rest of the race. So my pace kept getting worse and

I was already getting tired. Add to that having to constantly dodge
slower people to keep moving through open spots, and I got slower and
more frustrated and tired. I dodged so much my final distance was
around 13.6 miles (forgot to stop my watch at the end so got some
extra steps that didn't count after I crossed the finish line).

I ended up walking a lot more in the last half, which I expected since
I didn't train. But what I didn't expect was to get caught by the
Balloon Ladies after mile 10! These are the pacers that if you fall
too far behind, you get pulled from the course and put on a bus and
aren't allowed to finish. (Two of our group got pulled at mile 8--one
is very overweight, has health issues and didn't train and expected
not to finish, the other is 69 years old--they were together the whole

Since I started in the last corral, I had no time cushion. If you
start in an earlier corral you can maintain a slower pace and still
finish. I caught up to one of my friends (this was her first half)
soon after the balloon ladies caught me (she was several corrals ahead
of me at the start) and we encouraged each other to keep going.

Sometimes the balloons were behind us and sometimes in front, but we
always kept them in sight and close by. We would jog when we had to.
It was really crowded and the sun was up and it was in the 70s. So the
last few miles of the race sucked.

But we finished together.

Here we all are. The lady in the middle is Queen Mom, mother the the
last girl on the right. The girl next to me is who I finished with and
was her first race (she did train, but her problem was she didn't wear
her leggings and her legs seriously chafed so she was in pain the
whole race--very sad rookie mistake.) The two on the right are sisters
in law (girl in pink married to girl in black's brother).

Girl in pink has lost 117 pounds in the past 14 months. She came with
me to OA when all else failed her. She's my best friend. She has done
6 half marathons. This was her PR. She finished in 3 hrs 10 min.

Way better than me. My net time was 3:35:53. But I'm just happy I
finished with no injuries.

I had a great time at the parks and with the girls. There were three
other girls on the trip other than those here (but I don't have a pic
with all of us and I'm not close to them).

This is my last time to do this race. It's expensive. I don't like
being away from Mark and the kids that long (5 days). I'm not training
like I need to. I've done it 3 times. I don't feel the need to keep
doing this experience over and over. The other girls are planning to
keep on with it. The SILs are going to California (with their
families) in the fall to run the Disney half so they can get the Coast
to Coast medal. But they both have husbands who make a lot of money
(they own a well established family business together) and neither of
them work outside the home, so they can justify it.

Anyway....Mark and the kids survived while I was away. There were
hiccups. Sophie joked that "dad tries so hard." He only messed up
minor things and the kids are pretty forgiving. And he did all the
laundry and cleaned the house while I was gone. I couldn't ask for
more. (The other girls came home and complained they had mountains of
laundry to do!)

So that's the report. I got home yesterday at 2:30am (late flight out
of Orlando, drove home from Nashville) and got 3 hours sleep before
going to work. I slept hard last night for 8 hours but am still tired.
Hoping to catch up more tonight.

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

maintaining normal (154.0)

Well, I survived January.  We all stayed healthy (praise the Lord), no major crises occurred (other than our garage door opener was broken for about a week & needed an $80 repair), and basically life is moving along at a pretty even pace. 

I'm doing okay.  I didn't sink into a winter depression, which was a blessing.  I guess on a happy scale of 1 - 10, I'm probably at a 5 most days.  A lot of people might think that's not good enough.  I used to be one of those people. But I've been through a lot of emotional ups and downs.  And this time of year, I'll take a steady 5.  

I haven't been to an OA meeting since before Christmas.  I still work Mondays until 8pm; Mondays were when I went to meetings.  Saturday mornings at 8:30 are the only other time I can go, and I just have not been able to make myself get going on the ONLY morning I have off during the week.  I talked to my sponsor about it (I meet her for lunch every few weeks).  She totally understands.  I am supposed to be looking for online meetings or podcasts, which I haven't done yet.  

But I'm not binging, not eating trigger foods or desserts, not eating between meals, and not gaining weight. I think the roots I planted with OA went deep. I know that I NEED to do more work with the program, and I can't rest on my laurels forever, but for now I'm okay. I know where to go when I need support, if things start to fall apart. 

Work at the College is going well.  But our CFO of 5 years resigned a couple weeks ago and we have put regional accreditation on hold indefinitely (they say because of legislative issues around gainful employment in Washington, D.C.), which meant they let a few people go in our administrative offices in Indy.  They tell us underlings that the school is strong and blah blah blah, but things like that don't make me feel good about long term prospects.  I'm not actively seeking a new job but I am looking at the two major university's in town websites a couple times a week for new job postings, and also getting emails from for bachelor's degree jobs.  I really want to work for the major private university in town.... employees' kids get free tuition.  That's like a $100,000 education for free.  Of course, everyone wants to work there.  It's very hard to get a job at that school. Sophie's a 7th grader, so I have time.... 

Kids are doing well.  Sophie is now in Improv class and voice lessons.  She loves both.  The acting studio had a great article in the paper Sunday, and Sophie was in the main picture (the photographer was at her Improv class).  Luke is in acting/voice class (30 min each) and ukulele lessons.  He is getting pretty good at ukulele.  He can change chords without looking at his hand. 

They are still doing well in school.  Sophie's 7th grade year has been a lot of work, but she's still working hard and stays self-motivated. Luke will take iStep tests (the state's standardized tests) this year for the first time; they start in 3rd grade. I'm assuming his will all be pass++++++.  haha, they only go to Pass+, but he'll be off the charts, I'm sure, the little smarty pants. 

Mark is working 60-70 hours a week.  He's doing two jobs--my old one & his.  It's wearing him down.  We can't afford to hire an assistant for him yet. He's doing the best he can.  But it really is hard on him.  We know we didn't have a choice for me to leave & get a real job, but some days.... some days we wish it didn't have to be this way.  So we just keep doing what we're doing because what other choice do we have? 

I guess the big news is that I am going to Florida on Feb 19 for the Disney Princess Half Marathon, with the same girls I went with 2 years ago. I signed up last summer/fall, kind of on a whim, because my friend Amy really wanted me to go, and I thought it would be a motivator for me to start running again.  Well, guess what? I have run (well, walked/jogged) maybe 3 times since I signed up.  So yeah, I'm doing a half marathon with no training. I'll be walking with a few jogs thrown in so I can keep a 16 min/mile pace so I don't get pulled from the course. I am resting in the knowledge that I walked a 10 mile race this past summer with no training and was totally fine--no injuries, no problems, could have jogged and gone another 3 miles easily.  

I know the Disney course--it's flat and easy. I'm in a walker corral. I'm going to have fun and not beat myself up about it.  I am not having any physical issues--no everyday aches or pains.  So I'm sure I will be fine.  No, it's not ideal and yes, it's a little stupid.  But I've paid a ton of money and can't back out.  And this season of my life--working a full time job with irregular weird hours and with a husband who works an insane amount of hours too--is not conducive to a runner's lifestyle. 

That's how I'm rationalizing it so I can live with myself, anyway. 

I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. I really don't know what I'm going to talk to her about.  Things are generally pretty good.  Good with my mom.  Good with my husband (for the most part... we barely see each other... which maybe isn't so good but my therapist can't fix that).  Good with the kids.  I'm sure I could fix some deep dark issues inside myself.  But frankly, I don't wanna. 

I go to work.  Take care of kids.  Take care of managing our household (which is a part-time job in itself).  And then in my "off" time, escape through TV & books.  That's pretty much my life right now.  And pretty much all I have room for. Maybe that's what I'll talk with her about.  Getting to a place where I'm okay with my life being summed up in those small sentences.  Those small sentences are what have put me on a happy scale of a 5.  

When the weather warms up, I hope to add more activity to our lives.  And maybe bump up the scale to a 6 or 7.  We'll see.  Things always look happier with more sunshine.  If not, a 5 isn't so bad.  I've had worse.