Monday, March 30, 2009

Whassup on a Monday

First, thank you all for your condolences & advice & thoughts & prayers. It means so much to have the love & support of my blog friends. So, thanks!

Okay, now for the run down of what's going on around here.

We joined the YMCA Friday, as promised, & we both worked out for almost 50 minutes. I ran 4 miles & DH did the elliptical the whole time. I'm having more difficulty breathing again, so my miles were hard & not consistently fast by any means. It was the first time I've been on a treadmill in ages, and it was a nice change. I like being able to control my speed. I sprinted the last .3 miles just to get the run over with, and plus I love running sub-9 min/mile, even if it's only for a couple minutes. It makes me feel like a rockstar.

Mark worked out Saturday & Sunday (which is twice more than I worked out), and is taking complete responsibility for eating well. He is serious about cutting out salt & fat & red meat. He made homemade salsa last night with no salt or sugar; he added it with mushed up pinto beans & wild rice to heart-healthy LF wheat wraps, and said he didn't miss the fat/cheese/salt at all. That's progress. I just pray he keeps at it! Truly, it's a day at a time (although, a planned day at a time--you can't eat healthfully without planning ahead).

He is going to the doctor today at 3 p.m. & asking to be referred to a cardiologist (and thank you Annimal for your being so adamant about us doing that--I'm not sure I'd have felt so strongly about him being treated like a cardiac patient without your encouragement!). My doctor's appointment is at 3:15 (same doctor--follow up for blood pressure meds & antidepressants, & I'm going to get my asthma treatment updated).

I can really tell the wellbutrin is working again and/or my SAD is gone, because yesterday afternoon the kids both were cranky & not feeling great & whiny as could be, and I didn't lose it once. I never got impatient, never raised my voice, never hid in the bathroom with a bar of chocolate. These are big victories, to be sure.

My food's not been great, but I'm not eating to soothe myself. The weather here was crap all weekend & I used it as an excuse not to run at all. I know I could have gone to the Y, but if I ran it was going to be 8 miles or nothing. Do you know how hard it is to run 8 miles on a treadmill? It sucks, so I just never did it. But, whatever. Today's a new day. Planning on running after the doctor. And tomorrow I'm taking a Body Pump class at the Y. Cannot wait to lift weights again!!!

I'm trying to start the Crack diet again. So far I'm on track today, but I need to shop & cook for the rest of the week and I'm not sure if I'll have time to do that tonight. We'll see. I very much want to weigh 149 when I run the Indy half on May 2. I'm probably about 7-8 pounds away, so it's doable. But it's going to take work.

Ah, well. Anything worthwhile requires serious effort.

Friday, March 27, 2009

The state of things

So I got on the scale this morning for the first time in over a week. Considering all that's been going on, it wasn't a disaster. 156.6 is about what I expected.

I ran yesterday for the first time since my 7 mile run last Saturday. 3.5 miles in 40 minutes, and most of the run sucked. I got a side stitch after a half mile that didn't go away for 2 miles. So I ran/walked until it subsided. And I'm still fighting my asthma while running and not being able to breathe easily is quite a hindrance on a run. I see my doctor on Monday & will hopefully get my inhaler situation figured out.

It's been 3 weeks since I was having panic attacks & went off wellbutrin, then went on lexapro. It's been 2 weeks since I went off the lexapro & went back on a lower dose of wellbutrin. Thank God, I feel like my brain is finally back to where it needs to be. I handled the funeral well; I was able to function & take care of my children basically by myself for 3 days without losing my mind. I'm able to do basic household chores without it feeling like I'm moving a mountain.

I'm in a total quandary about my food. Since Keith's death, food has been a big topic of conversation with members of the family. Meat of almost any kind is apparently the devil when it comes to your heart. This is only about me--not about Mark--but I do really well when I'm eating more protein in the form of meat, and eating more veggies, and eating fewer whole grain foods. But the heart healthy diet is apparently fruit, veggies, whole grains, zero fat, almost no meat, and I'm not sure what else. I haven't done my own research yet so I don't have enough information in my decision making process. I just feel like I need to get my entire household on a heart healthy diet, and despite my years & years of weight loss dieting, I don't know what the heck a heart healthy diet should consist of.

In other news, we are going to join the YMCA. Mark has got to start exercising regularly & we've talked about getting a used elliptical and treadmill, but I can't find any good cheap used ones, & I'm not spending $2,000 on two pieces of equipment that will likely end up being clothes racks. The family membership fee is $65 a month, which is a lot less than we were paying before for our Fancy Club membership. There are two locations we can use for the one monthly fee. And we can get Sophie back in swim lessons (she swam at the hotel while we were at the funeral, and after 6 months of no swimming, her strokes still looked great & she just loves swimming so much. The child needs something in her life she feels good about). Child care is free, too, so I won't have to pay extra for the kids while I work out.

I'm planning a run today, either 4 or 5 miles depending on how I feel. Then tomorrow I will run 8 miles. The Indy half is 5 weeks away & is sneaking up on me.

Every minute of peace & normalcy in my life is a gift. They are what I crave. Even though they are mostly out of my control, I'm going to do everything in my power to keep them around for a while.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm here

We just got back home today. I haven't been on my computer, listened to the news, or generally been otherwise engaged with the world since last Friday. It's been all about family, kids, & mourning Keith.

Which is the way it should be.

I'll post more either Thursday or Friday.

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts & prayers. You each mean so much to me.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Nothing gold can stay

This time of year, as the trees bloom and the daffodils unfold, reminds me of the famous Robert Frost poem.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Yesterday as I got a call from Sophie's school around 1 p.m., telling me she had a headache & was feeling dizzy, I thought of the poem again. My golden days of normal had evaporated again. My girl was back in her dark place. I picked her up, gave her some medicine, and thankfully she felt better but didn't go back to school. I didn't run, either, and generally had a really crappy night.

Then, this morning, everything has changed again.

Mark's brother died suddenly this morning of a heart attack. Keith had had two previous heart attacks in the past 3 years, so he was on medication & watching his diet & excercising. But the damage was already done & the genetic deck remained stacked against him; their dad died at age 51 of a massive heart attack, and heart disease runs through almost every family in the N. family tree.

Keith had the heart attack at work (he works--worked--night shifts) like the other two, but this time he didn't make it. He was 57. He died almost 3 years to the day from when Mark's mom died, which was on March 21, 2006.

Obviously this is going to be a very difficult weekend, & the funeral is likely going to be Monday or Tuesday. I have to be honest, though. My tears are not just for Keith & his family. I'm crying for myself, out of pure fear.

I cannot begin to express how concerned I am about my own husband's health. He's 46, is struggling with a weight gain over the past year, and hasn't exercised in months. His stress level is insane & he rarely sleeps well. Clearly, he's a walking time bomb.

It's terrifying.

He knows & I know what he needs to do to change his health. Will his brother's death make a difference? I honestly don't know.

I do know that I have always believed in my husband. I have two mottos for him that I've used to support him through the years.

The first is "Perseverance prevails when all else fails."

And, "You make the impossible, possible."

I pray that these apply to his health. I pray that despite everything that's fighting against him, God will find a way to make Mark the exception to the rule. I pray that God protects his heart while we can get his lifestyle fixed. I pray for healing of the damage in his heart that's already done. I pray that Mark doesn't let the seemingly inevitable destroy him. I pray he is lifted above this impossible situation & made whole.

Most of all, I just pray that he's not taken from me and my children until he's old, grey, crotchety, and senile. Then it will be okay. Anytime before that is simply unthinkable.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sleep, Sunshine, & The Return of Normal

At last! I got a good night's sleep. No one woke me up & I slept from 10ish to 6:30. That rarely happens.

And, from the sounds of it, a lot of you have sleep troubles, too.

Oh how I wish we had an extra bed in our house. Unfortunately, that's the role of the couch but it's in the same "room" as the kitchen & isn't all that comfortable. Perhaps someday we'll have a different house & I'll get my own bedroom.

But, last night at least I slept great & it turns out that a good night's sleep makes a world of difference in my attitude & energy.

So does sunshine & 70 degree weather.

So does a five mile run, which I accomplished yesterday afternoon. It was glorious! Not easy, by any means. The first 2 miles were awesome. I felt fast, strong. The sun was shining, I was in shorts & a sleeveless shirt, and the wind was steady but not high. Around mile 3 my asthma started bothering me, and unfortunately I didn't bring my inhaler with me. (I used it before my run, as always, but I think I either need a second type of inhaler to *keep* my lungs open, or I just need to run with my inhaler when I'm out longer than 3 miles.) I slowed down quite a bit, & mile 4 was rough. By the time I was starting mile 5, the endorphins had kicked in and I was in the zone. I finished in 57:33. I was hoping for 5 in 55 minutes, but I'll take what I can get right now.

"Normal" has been a foreign land for so long, that I almost cried with gratitude on the way into work this morning. I ate normally. I slept normally. My family slept normally. I woke up normally. My kids are in school normally. We are at work normally. I am running normally.

Normal feels so damn good. And it gives me hope. I want to bottle this feeling & hold onto it forever.

BTW, it's our 14 year wedding anniversary today. Anniversary's on a Wednesday are a non event, pretty much, but we are having a date night Friday & the kids will stay at my mom's overnight. Very much looking forward to Friday.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Perseverance vs. Internalization

First the good stuff.

Yesterday I was determined to run. It was so gorgeous by the afternoon--sunny & 70. Around 4:15 I finally got around to changing into my running clothes, only to discover I'd forgotten my socks. I hate it when that happens! After a brief thought of running without them, I quickly came to my senses & drove the short mile to my local running store. Got a pair of Balega socks & stocked up on Gu, and I was hitting the pavement by 4:40. I parked at Luke's day care & figured I run 3 miles & be back with just enough time to pick him up around 5:20.

I ran 3, and they felt great. My pace is still not where I want it to be, but that's OK. The extra 10 pounds really slow me down. My avg m/m was 11:08, which I will take at this stage of the game.

And I felt freaking amazing afterwards (and during). Very at peace. Like everything is going to be okay. This, my friends, is the wonder of running. And endorphins.

I had a busy night--Mark's back in school after his spring break so it's just me with the kids on Mon, Tues, & Wed--but it was manageable. I ate well all day, including a healthy low carb dinner. Kiddos were in bed when they should be. I made a cup of hot tea and got in bed at 9:00, and by 9:15 I was falling asleep.

The plan was to get to sleep early & wake up at 5 a.m. and do 30 Day Shred. I figured I would have plenty of sleep & I am figuring out that I've got to add morning exercise to my day or I'm just not going to get the muscles I want so badly for our trip in June to St John.

But, then, of course, the shit hit the fan & my plans imploded.

Mark got in bed around 11:30, turned on the TV, and then promptly started tossing, turning, shivering, & snoring. He must be coming down with something because he couldn't get warm. And he couldn't stay still & I couldn't fall back to sleep. So off to the couch with me.

But I was so resentful & angry, and I buried those feelings in cookies. And then a bowl of grape nuts. And when I still couldn't sleep after midnight I started watching a movie. I still had a hope that I could get up at 5, but it was a sliver, at best.

At 2:45 Luke woke up, calling "Mommy, can I get up yet?" NO! You can't get up! I tucked him back in, turned on his lullaby CD, and he stayed put. But I was up again. No food this go round, because I felt a little sick from the midnight carb loading. But I was still seething.

Then at 4 a.m. Sophie is awake. For the 2nd night in a row. It's probably the new straterra, which she's taking at night so she'll sleep through the side affects. So I had to move to her bed to help her get back to sleep. It took her a good hour to fall asleep again, and I tossed & turned right beside her.

5 a.m. came & went. No wake up for me. No workout. Only disappointment. & a little bit of sleep.

At 6:15 the dog started whining & crying. So I finally just gave up & got out of Sophie's bed. Thankfully the coffee had brewed at 5 a.m. (love the automatic coffee pot), but I sat on the couch watching CNBC at 6:30 just pissed at the world.

While I was getting my shower this morning I kept asking myself---WHY MUST I INTERNALIZE EVERYONE ELSE'S ISSUES? And why do I feel the need to punish myself, my body, my family (in an indirect way, but I still feel like I'm punishing them, too) by eating crap in the middle of the night? I know I'm stuffing down the feelings. But WHY do the feelings erupt at all? Why can't I just disconnect and deal with the interruptions with grace, poise, and peace?

I don't feel hopeless this morning, mostly because the sun is shining & it's going to be 72 today, and both the kids are at school (hallelujah!!!!) and Mark is at work, and I am going to run this afternoon at least 5 miles, come hell or high water.

But I've got this internalization issue stuck in my craw. I think it's at the crux of it all.

So, now what I need to know is, how in the hell does that get fixed?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The pills are working

Finally, at last, I'm starting to feel human again. And just like I didn't get myself into the downward spiral unaided, I know it's not *willpower* that is getting me out of the pit. It's the drugs.

Thank God for good drugs.

I ran yesterday around 4:30 p.m., for 3.5 miles. They weren't fast miles by any means. But I ran the last full mile --slowly-- with no walk breaks (I still run around 9:30-10:00 m/m, but then I have to walk a bit after about 3-5 minutes of running).

I ate well yesterday. Had a salad last night around 9 p.m. when I felt hungry instead of something carby.

It's paying off. The scale, by some miracle, said 154.8 this morning. I'm STILL squishy & my jeans are still tight. The scale isn't the whole story. I've lost muscle tone that I'd built last year. But at least that number isn't as horrendous as I'd expected.

I'm taking it one day at a time right now. And hoping today is a calm, easy Saturday.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Where do I start?

Once you hit bottom, I guess there's no place to go but up. Right?

This morning I found some old pictures of me from before I was pregnant with Luke. It was like looking at another person. I *know* I spent the majority of my adult life around 200 pounds, but the past year and a half has made me feel like a new person. And I want to forget that I ever looked like that.

But recent life events have pulled me back into the old lifestyle of eating for comfort & not working out, and that's pulled my body back toward the way I used to look. No, I don't look like I weigh 200 pounds. No, my face is not round & undefined. My arms aren't huge & my pants aren't a size 18. But an extra 15 pounds from my lowest weight this fall has me feeling squishy & wearing very tight clothes.

And I'm scared. Because I feel myself falling further & further down the slippery slope. It's entirely possible--and hell, if I look at the ridiculously low statistics of people who are able to maintain a weight loss, it's probable--that I could weigh 200 pounds again.

I don't want that. I don't want to look like the woman in the pictures from 4 years ago. Or even 2 years ago. I don't want to be another negative statistic. Or someone people gossip about--"Oh, I knew she'd never be able to keep that weight off."

I want to run. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to wear sun dresses & shorts & skirts & tank tops with confidence. I want to be strong.

The trick is figuring out how to want all that when I'm bored, tired, depressed, sad, angry, happy, scared, sleepy, or any other emotion that drives me to eat.

How the heck did I do what I did in 2007? Where do I begin again? That's how I feel. Like I'm starting from scratch & have no clue how I'm ever going to lose the weight I want --no, need -- to lose.

Like just about every dieter, I know the mechanics. That's not the problem.

It's the "I want this more than anything else" that I need to find again.

And then I read this post, linked to from Natalie, and the last sentence just gave me a big ole bitch slap: "No one likes a whiner - they suck the ever livin life out of you. "

I'm so damn tired of being a whiner. I need a good kick in the ass is what I need (gee, 3 curse words in one edit.... nice).

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Temporary Insanity

Seriously? I think I'm losing my mind.

Monday night Sophie started having hallucinations. She'd woken up Monday with a dizzy spell & had had a pretty rough day. I was snuggling with her at bed time before she fell asleep, and all of the sudden she sat up & said "Mommy there's a spider on my doll's leg!" The doll is on her bookcase & had a couple of little flowers on her pants. She was seeing a spider instead of a flower. I explained that to her, then she saw a spider on her wall where there was a dark spot. We went to the family room where she could fall asleep to TV & keep her mind off the dark spots/spiders.

I assumed this was a side affect from her ADHD meds, and called her doctor Tuesday morning & he agreed we should stop the medicine. I scoured the internet & found that in January the FDA released research that found hallucinations are more common in ADHD meds than previously thought. So, oh joy, we have to stop the medicine that was helping her so much. Thankfully the hallucinations only lasted through yesterday and are now completely gone.

But the dizzy spell is still around. Day 3. We have an appointment at the St Louis Children's Hospital on April 8th. It can't get here soon enough.

Yesterday I called my doctor & got the OK to go back on Wellbutrin. I've been feeling horrible on the Lexapro & was reading about the side affects with that drug (which I've been on before but it's been years), & was reminded about how easy it is to gain weight on Lexapro & how hard it is to lose weight on Lexapro. Wellbutrin was awesome for me, in the 150 mg dose. Only at 300 mg did it become a problem. So I'm back on my drug of choice in the lower dose, and glad I came to my senses about Lexapro before it was too late. I feel a teeny bit better today, and I think it's mostly because I just feel relieved to be off the drug that would likely have put 20 pounds on me in 6 months.

More fun in our household--Luke is allergic to the cat. The cat we've had for 13 years. The cat who my daughter says is "her baby." I'm trying zyrtec & am going to put up a gate on his room & "de-cat" all his stuff. I just hope it's enough to make his sneezing & congestion & itchy eyes stop. I can't imagine the misery that losing our beloved Earl Grey would cause.

And, the piece de resistance--Mark busted a tendon last night in his leg, while playing chase with kids. It's the plantar's tendon, which the ER doctor said is ruptured. Mark's sister brought over her crutches last night at 9:30 and he took himself to the ER (which is 2 minutes from our house). He couldn't put any weight on it, it hurt so bad. The kids were of course freaked out. They wouldn't go to sleep after daddy left by himself for the ER at 10. So they piled in bed with me and stayed up & watched a movie until after 11:30. Then Sophie fell asleep in Luke's bed, & Luke fell asleep on our floor. I fell asleep around Midnight, and then woke up a few minutes later when Mark called & gave me the ER report. He got home sometime around 1 a.m. He's on pain meds & can limp around now without crutches. He worked a few hours this morning but now is home while I'm at work (with Sophie, of course). He said the pain isn't as bad as he thought it would be & he promised not to be an invalid that I have to take care of.

Which is a good thing, because I'm pretty much worthless right now & don't feel like I can take care of anything or anyone else right now.

I especially can't take care of myself.

For whatever reason, I'm still wired to eat, eat, & eat some more when faced with crises. I guess it's my brain saying "feed me some happy shit & feed it to me now." Unfortunately, my brain needs to take a good look at my ass, because it's clearly not happy with the recent feeding schedule.

This is only temporary. This is only temporary. This is only temporary.

God, I hope so.

Monday, March 09, 2009

How I'm Doing

Not so great. I feel like I shouldn't even post because I've not got much positive to say, but when did I ever let that stop me. Ha.

I did get a 4 mile run in on Saturday. It was gorgeous. Windy, but I ran in a tank top & shorts. I even got hot a few times! But that was the most healthy thing I did from Friday - Sunday.

I'm still in that no man's land between medications. I'm taking my new med, but my old one is still wearing off, I suppose, & my new one hasn't kicked in. Friday I came home around 5 p.m., got in bed, and didn't get out except for bodily necessities. Thankfully my Mom took care of the kids until Mark got home, then he took care of them. I felt like I had the flu, only without any body aches or sore throat or headache. Basically, I just couldn't move my body. At all.

It was awful.

Saturday was a teeny bit better, but only because I had to get out of bed. I'd volunteered with my Sunday School class to prepare & serve breakfast at a downtown shelter (the count was around 210 people that we served), so I was out the door at 7 a.m. It was good to be around people from church & realize how freaking blessed I am. I got home around 11 and went for a run. Then I took the kids & picked up a friend of Sophie's for a sleep over. Then I was back in bed from around 3 to 5 p.m. Two hours is about Mark's threshold for handling the kids, so I had to get up & help out after that.

Sunday we made it to church (after the time change--which kills me for the first few days), & then grocery shopped for a couple of hours then went home & put everything away & made lunch, and by then I was wiped again. I didn't lay in bed, but I camped in the recliner for the rest of the afternoon. Finally around 6 p.m. I started cleaning Sophie's room & gave her a bath.

I ate horribly all weekend, and Sunday morning I stepped on the scale, dreading what I'd see. 159.2.

I've got a lot of ground to make up. It's scary how quickly bad habits can add back the pounds. It was just a little over a week ago that I was at 151.4.

And running with the extra weight is a killer. I had mild shin splints on and off for the first 3 miles of my run Saturday.

But honestly, my energy is still in the tank & I feel like I'm barely functional. I'm praying these meds get straightened out quickly. I did take my blood pressure at Walmart Sunday and it was much better--the bottom number was 71 (down from 90 before medication).

Other bad news--Sophie woke up with another dizzy spell this morning. She also described a type of aura around objects for the first time today, and when I asked if she's had that before she said maybe twice before, just recently. That's a new development & to me says these episodes are truly leaning toward migraine, even though they are atypical. I'm still waiting for the St Louis Children's Hospital to call & get us an appointment. It should be soon. The good news with Sophie is her ADHD meds are going great. She got an A on her spelling test Friday, and that's the first A on a spelling test she's had all year. The side affects seem to be mostly gone now, too. I'm hopeful we'll luck out & the first med will be the right one.

Mark's on spring break this week, so he doesn't have class the next 3 nights. That should help. Maybe I'll have it in me to go for a run after work today.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Right place, right time

After I wrote a guest post for MizFit, an associate editor for PBS contacted me about being included for an article he was writing about dieting bloggers. And even though I had my suspicions at first, turns out he was legit & had a lot of articles on the website.

So I talked with him the weekend before last (on a Saturday while sitting on the bathroom floor with the door locked--the only place a mom of two can get some privacy) and spilled my guts about my blog.

It's an interesting article. The writer, Simon Owens, asked insightful questions & was genuinely interested in the whole blogger/dieter phenomenon. Go have a look when you have a chance.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Doctors, doctors everywhere

I'm going to see my doctor this afternoon, for two big issues.

First, I think I have high/borderline high blood pressure. My mom & sister both have high BP problems, and I am nothing if not my mother's daughter. She had to get glasses at age 40 after having perfect vision her whole life; I had to get glasses when I turned 38 (I'm such an overachiever & had to beat her on that one). She's been on BP meds for years & years, she thinks since her early 40s; I've been having headaches for months (which was the symptom that caused her to go to the doctor way back when) and I finally took my BP at Walmart yesterday. The first time it was 140/81 & the second time it was 131/93. So it's up there. It's time to get it addressed officially. I'm tired of these headaches & I'd really like to avoid having a stroke.

Second, I'm going to ask to see a psychiatrist. My emotional state is completely bizarre lately. I increased my depression med back in January, but what I've been going through lately isn't just depression. It's panic attacks, crying for no reason, horribly awful thoughts that come from nowhere. I can be completely UP for a few days--like last week I had some really really good days & felt wonderful--but then am in the basement again. But it's not the basement--it's the deep dark wet root cellar.

These aren't my normal ups & downs, which I've *always* gone through. They are more extreme. And I'm getting to the point where I can't function properly. I've got to get my head fixed now, before things get worse.

Partly I think it's situational. Seen the market lately? But we are doing OK right now & I'm letting go of my fear & worry on a daily basis, and asking God to fill me with love & peace. And He is. So it's not just situational. It's chemical. And I need help.

**Edit** Just got back from the doctor. He put me on a low dose (5 mg) of a BP med to see if it helps with the headaches. My bottom number was consistently 90 while I was there. And I explained how I've been feeling after having my anti-depressant increased & he said that it's possible for anxiety to be amplified in some people on the medicine I am taking. Which makes complete sense--the extremes started about when the increased dose would be nice & solidly established in my system. So we are switching my med to a different one completely & I don't have to see a psychiatrist at this point. I feel relieved to learn that I'm not suffering a total mental breakdown & the medicine is likely responsible for what I've been feeling. A few weeks from now, I hope I'm on a more even keel. **End Edit**

And the other Doctor's issue is with Sophie. This is all good news. He diagnosed her with attention deficit ADHD & we started her on medicine Friday. She is experiencing several side affects but they aren't horrible & so far she's dealing with them OK. She is, thankfully, responding positively so far to what it's supposed to do for her--give her focus & attention. I've noticed a difference at home already. Her teacher is going to give me daily updates on how she's doing in class, as well.

We are also going to take her to the St Louis Children's Hospital in about a month (as soon as they can get us in, but the nurse said it should be close to the end of March) for her dizzy spells. Our pediatrician thinks it's in the migraine realm, but agrees that we need more specialized doctors to confirm that they are migraine, since if they are, then they are extremely atypical.

I'm so thankful we live in a time when doctors can help all of us with these health issues. I'm praying things go well, on all fronts.