So I got on the scale this morning for the first time in over a week. Considering all that's been going on, it wasn't a disaster. 156.6 is about what I expected.
I ran yesterday for the first time since my 7 mile run last Saturday. 3.5 miles in 40 minutes, and most of the run sucked. I got a side stitch after a half mile that didn't go away for 2 miles. So I ran/walked until it subsided. And I'm still fighting my asthma while running and not being able to breathe easily is quite a hindrance on a run. I see my doctor on Monday & will hopefully get my inhaler situation figured out.
It's been 3 weeks since I was having panic attacks & went off wellbutrin, then went on lexapro. It's been 2 weeks since I went off the lexapro & went back on a lower dose of wellbutrin. Thank God, I feel like my brain is finally back to where it needs to be. I handled the funeral well; I was able to function & take care of my children basically by myself for 3 days without losing my mind. I'm able to do basic household chores without it feeling like I'm moving a mountain.
I'm in a total quandary about my food. Since Keith's death, food has been a big topic of conversation with members of the family. Meat of almost any kind is apparently the devil when it comes to your heart. This is only about me--not about Mark--but I do really well when I'm eating more protein in the form of meat, and eating more veggies, and eating fewer whole grain foods. But the heart healthy diet is apparently fruit, veggies, whole grains, zero fat, almost no meat, and I'm not sure what else. I haven't done my own research yet so I don't have enough information in my decision making process. I just feel like I need to get my entire household on a heart healthy diet, and despite my years & years of weight loss dieting, I don't know what the heck a heart healthy diet should consist of.
In other news, we are going to join the YMCA. Mark has got to start exercising regularly & we've talked about getting a used elliptical and treadmill, but I can't find any good cheap used ones, & I'm not spending $2,000 on two pieces of equipment that will likely end up being clothes racks. The family membership fee is $65 a month, which is a lot less than we were paying before for our Fancy Club membership. There are two locations we can use for the one monthly fee. And we can get Sophie back in swim lessons (she swam at the hotel while we were at the funeral, and after 6 months of no swimming, her strokes still looked great & she just loves swimming so much. The child needs something in her life she feels good about). Child care is free, too, so I won't have to pay extra for the kids while I work out.
I'm planning a run today, either 4 or 5 miles depending on how I feel. Then tomorrow I will run 8 miles. The Indy half is 5 weeks away & is sneaking up on me.
Every minute of peace & normalcy in my life is a gift. They are what I crave. Even though they are mostly out of my control, I'm going to do everything in my power to keep them around for a while.