Wednesday, August 16, 2006

So much to do....

So little motivation. All I want to do is focus on diet and exercise. If I could quit work and hire a housekeeper, a nanny, and a surrogate wife for my husband, I could get this weight off in no time. But life ain't like that, is it? I feel so behind in everything. Work, lots to do not enough motivation to get it moving. Home, oy. What a mess. Kids, thank God, are doing well and are bathed and fed adequately, and loved on extensively. Food and exercise, not so great.

Diet is better today. Go foods, no stop foods, and it's almost bedtime and I haven't overindulged. Exercise is not getting the time I need to put in, but I'm showing up at least. For reasons beyond my control, only have done 15-20 minutes the past two days. I want to RUN so badly I can taste it. But my quad is not ready. I've got to be patient.

Tonight I spent about 45 minutes cleaning the dining room and Sophie's room. That's my new tactic for the house. A little each night. That's the best I can do right now. And that'll have to do.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Plastic surgery.... for me?

So my husband's 25th High School class reunion was this past Saturday. The women, most of them, looked amazing. A lot of them have had some type of plastic surgery, most notably boob jobs.

I've never been a plastic surgery snob, and think it's okay if it's not Michael Jackson crazy extreme. I had several "skinny bitch" moments at the reunion, then learned that a lot of these women have been divorced, have growing/grown kids, and probably ONLY have their looks to keep them happy (whatever that means for them).

After my disappointment with not being able to wear my gorgeous black dress because of the muffin top, and after seeing the handiwork of Evansville's finest plastic surgeons, I had to wonder--would I have surgery to get my body into better shape in my 40s?


I talked with my husband about it this morning. Granted, he was drowsy from being up until 5 a.m., but he said if I wanted to get lipo on my stomach and get my mommy breasts lifted, I can.

Holy cow. Just the idea is scary and exciting.

Who knows if we'll have the money 4 years from now. Who knows if I'll even need it after I get to my goal weight. But the idea of the possibility is tantalizing.

I've never had perky boobs. Okay, maybe when I was 10 and had breast buds (TMI, sorry!). But I've always had big ones and even when I was a 34C they were ample. This is not a bad thing, I just don't want to have National Geographic boobs in my 40s and 50s when the rest of me could conceivably look pretty good.

And my stomach, oy. I can live with curvy hips. Been doing that my whole life. But this spare tire of baby fat has got to go. If a reasonable amount of exercise and weight loss doesn't do it, I'm afraid it's SCHHHLLOOOOP of the belly fat on the operating table.

We'll see. It's too soon to get serious about it. But it's out there now. Perhaps it will be my 40th birthday present.

Personal transformation takes a long time and a lot of work.

Measurements, the Scale, and Clothing Sizes

So clothing sizes are not reliable for how much thinner we are becoming, at least that's what I'm gathering from others. My recent success with size 14s, although I am excited about it, is probably rather meaningless. Apparently the clothing companies are giving in to our expanding bodies and fragile egos and moving sizes down a notch. My 14s are likely really 16s. Whatever.

The scale isn't lying (for the most part). It's fickle, but a pound is still a pound. Right?!?!?! Despite all the ignorant talk at WW meetings I overhear, that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat. Whaaaat? It's semantics, I suppose, but it niggles at me and I so want to correct these women when I hear it, but let it pass. I learned back in grade school that a pound is a pound, from the old joke "which weighs more a pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?" Muscle is denser than fat, which is what they really mean.

Anyway, I took my measurements today. In total, I've lost another 3 inches in just over a month. That's almost 10 inches in 11 weeks. I remember reading who-knows-where that one pound lost will equal one inch lost. Not one inch in a specific spot, but one inch all added up when added from everywhere you measure.

Between the compliments, the scale, the tape measure, the clothes shopping on the "normal" side of the store, and being able to climb stairs holding Sophie without wanting to die, I am doing pretty well. As long as the ice cream stays out of the house, I think I can keep this thing up.

And, all you AFG's, thank you so much for reading my blog and checking in on me. Lori, Jen, and A.J., thank you all especially for the comments. Love you guys!

Personal transformation takes a long time and a lot of work.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

New Size, New Attitude

OMG, I can wear a size 14 from Dress Barn. I am so excited. I have a whole new attitude today since this tremendous event happened. I don't want dessert, I want to run till I pass out, I don't want ice cream, I want to go to the gym and work my butt off. Size 14 is AVERAGE. It's not OBESE any more. I was a size 18 a mere 9 months ago. I am so pumped!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Been a long time

It's been ages since I've been here. I have a lot to say, but so little time since it's after 10:30 p.m. First and foremost on my mind, I have continued to run and am in week 8 of my training program. Ran 2.25 miles today in 28 minutes. Simply beyond belief that I can run at all, let alone that long. True, I'm slower than a snail, but hey my feet are moving, I'm sweating, and by golly I can call myself a runner.

And I'm losing weight. Down to 195 now (on my scale as soon as I wake up). That's 4 pounds in one month, which is fabulous, esp. considering I was on vacation a mere 3 weeks ago. I could have chucked it all after the dinners and desserts I had in the Smokies.

Work...oy. Gotta get some biddness in.

Kids... wonderful angels they are. Poor Sophie with swimmer's ear. Darling Luke getting so big and ready to crawl if only he could get up on his knees and move them forward. Sophie went to bed at 7:30 tonight and fell asleep without me there! Luke fell asleep in his crib after only a few minutes crying. Both of them were out by 7:40. Wow wow wow.

Mark.... stressed over work. He's a mess. I want to help, I need to help in the office more. God is going to have to intervene on this one. I just don't have the strength.

I need to sleep. Has to be an early a.m. tomorrow. I am so thankful for my Amazon/Fat Girlz friends and for the coolrunning website. And for treadmills at the Y. When this heat ends, I swear I'll do an outside run. Maybe in November....

Personal transformation takes a long time and a lot of work.