Tuesday, April 29, 2008

154.4 - Running Rockstar

I ran only 2 miles yesterday during Sophie's swim class, but I made them tough (avg pace = 10:20). At one point, I was running at 7.0 mph. That's 8:34 min/mile, people. I ran for two tenths at that pace and felt like a freaking rockstar.

I slowed it down and walked, then kept increasing my walking pace until I was walking at 5.0 mph. That's the speed I started running at just over a year ago. I finished my two miles at 7.0 mph, running one more tenth at that speed. And it felt amazing.

Here's an excerpt from my exercise log from April 20, 2007, the day I ran my first full mile:

date: 4/20/2007
exercise type: walk/run
total time: 45 minutes
distance: 3.11 miles
running distance: 1 mile
weight: 190
comments: 1 mile run straight @ 5.0 mph

Makes me wonder what I'll be able to accomplish next year.

I'm no running expert, by any stretch of the imagination. But I feel like I'm a semi-expert at how to start running. A couple of you have commented that you'd like to start running, or you feel like you want to do more than walk. Here's my 2 cents:

I was never a runner, ever, until I turned 36. Then I started running the summer of 2006, just a little bit, and got some New Balance motion control running shoes (they were like mini tanks on my feet, they were so big). I weighed 200 pounds and hadn't started losing weight yet. I was using the Couch to 5K Program, but didn't stick with it. I pulled a quadricep really badly and it took a couple months to heal, and I stopped running and doing anything to lose weight completely, until February of 2007.

That's when I started LA Weight Loss, and the only reason I picked up running again was because I needed to burn a lot of calories in as short amount of time as possible. Running was the way to go. So I got my C25K plan back out, and started checking off dates and miles as I cruised along (I ran for time, btw). You don't start running. You start by walking, then running for 60 seconds at a slow pace, then walking for a few minutes, then more seconds of running. The first time I ran for 20 minutes straight I thought I was gonna die.

But I did it. And I did it slowly. First came distance and time, then slowly slowly, came some increase in speed. I'm still pretty stinking slow, but heck, I'm almost 40 years old and still "overweight" according to the BMI tables. So ten minute miles are a miracle for me.

So try it, if you have even the slightest tug at your soul that you want to run. For months and months last year, running was the main reason I lost weight. I wanted to drop pounds so I could run faster. That's one hell of a motivation. I even have a note in my kitchen now that says "Don't eat that! You'll run faster." I want to lose 10 or 15 more pounds not so I'll look great in a bathing suit, but so I can cut time off my pace. If Lance Armstrong can run faster because he's 15 pounds lighter (which they talked about in Runner's World a couple issues back, but I can't find a link to it online), then so can I.

One more thing. Get good running shoes. Chances are, if you start running at a heavier weight like I did, you need motion control shoes. But go to a running store or a specialty shoe store to get them, and have someone fit you and determine your foot type and your stride type. There's more to running shoes than how cushiony they feel. I tried a Ladies Footlocker when I first started running, and they only had stability shoes and frankly didn't know what to do with me. And, get a good pair of running socks. They are just as important as your shoes. I bought two pairs of $10 socks, and they are totally worth the investment.

And if you have big boobs, get a supportive bra (Enell makes a great one) and don't be afraid to wear more than one sports bra at the same time. I still wear a 2nd over my Enell because I like the extra support.

I'll leave you with my new favorite running slogan, that I found on Erin's blog:
My sport is your sport's punishment.

Monday, April 28, 2008

155.0 - Half Marathon: T minus 5 days and counting

Holy cow, it's only 5 days from my first half marathon. I guess I'm ready. I didn't get in a 6 miler this weekend like I was supposed to, but I have done my "real" long runs (a 10 and a 9) so I suppose it will be fine.

The Story of My Shoes
I had bought new shoes a little over a week ago and ran my 9 miles on the treadmill in them and my feet and legs felt fine. But when I ran 5 and 3 this past week outside, my shins hurt a little and I just felt off. So I'm going to go back to my Brooks this week and will run the Half in those.

The Brooks are motion control shoes, which I needed last summer when I bought them and was still a "heavy runner" (Runner's World says women who weigh over 160 are heavy runners and probably need motion control shoes). My new shoes are New Balance 768s, which are stability shoes. I got them from a local running store and the sales guy said on a scale of 1 to 10, I over-pronate at a 4. My Brooks correct over-pronation at a level 8, so I don't need that much correction, and by running in the motion control shoes I'm putting more stress on the outsides of my hips and legs.

Which makes sense, because when I ran 9 miles in the NB, I could feel the middle of my glutes and hamstrings working a lot harder than they usually do.

I had asked at the running store if I could run the Half in the new shoes, and they said I should be fine with 2 weeks of breaking them in. But I think I'm not going to, because if I have the slightest hesitation about them and run in them anyway, and then I end up with shin splints or other pain, then it's going to be my shoes fault and a stupid mistake. And it's not worth taking a risk.

So my good ole Brooks with 214 miles on them get the honor of taking me around the Indianapolis 500 track. Aren't they lucky.

Saturday was busy. My mom had a Mary Kay party at her house, and I picked up Sophie at 9:30 a.m. from her friend's house where she'd had a sleep over, then drove 30 minutes to my mom's. Luke had had a horrible night and not slept from 1 a.m to 4 a.m., so he was a wreck. I helped mom clean and get ready, then took Luke for a drive to get him to take his nap. When kids are overtired, ironically they don't go to sleep easily, so he needed a car ride to knock him out. When I got back he slept for a while, then woke up and I had to hold him and sleep next to him for an hour and a half so he would stay asleep. I missed the MK party (they did pedicures, which would have been fun but oh well), but got to spend time with friends and family afterwards.

Then, something awful happened. And I wasn't going to write about this but I can't let it go and I'm hoping if I put it out there it will be cathartic, just like all the other stuff I put out here.

I lost Sophie. For about 5 minutes, we had no idea where she was. I was talking with my cousin and realized I hadn't seen her for probably 20 minutes or so, and when I started asking everyone "Have you seen Sophie?" no one had. We looked all over the house, in the basement, and couldn't find her. My mom's house is small, so it didn't take me long to freak out when we called and called and she didn't answer.

So several of us ran outside and yelled her name and asked my step-dad if he had seen her (he was working in the yard all afternoon), and when he didn't know where she was, I really panicked. Full on, Oh my God my child is missing freak out panic.

I screamed and screamed her name, ran around like a crazy woman, while other rational family members were walking the neighborhood calling her name and asking neighbors (who by this time were coming out of their houses to see what all the commotion was) if they had seen a little girl.

It was only about 5 minutes, but it seemed like a lifetime that someone called from the house "WE FOUND HER!"

She had been playing hide and seek, and had found the perfect hiding place and then fallen asleep (which is uncharacteristic of my almost-7 year old, but her sleepover didn't involve a lot of sleep so I guess she was worn out). And it was in a spot that was tough to see her. My mom has a twin day bed, and under the day bed is another twin mattress, like a trundle bed but it's just a mattress on the floor that slides in and out. The mattress was under the bed, and Sophie had crawled up on the mattress and was asleep under the bed. Several of us, including me, had looked under the bed and didn't see her--all you could see was the mattress unless you got all the way down on the floor and looked UP toward the bottom of the bed. Thankfully one of the girls who stayed inside to search for her saw her foot barely peaking out the end of the bed. Otherwise we'd have been calling the police within minutes.

It was by far the scariest thing I've ever been through in my life. And when we found her I got on the floor and bawled my eyes out. Then I held her while she slept for about 30 minutes. Then I was a wreck the rest of the day and most of Sunday.

I wouldn't have freaked out so badly, I don't think, if we hadn't learned on Friday that a man in Mark's men's group lost his 4 year old daughter last week. She had been walking across a KMart parking lot, with her mom and 3 siblings, when an 89 year old man got confused and drove back into his parking spot that he had just backed out of, and hit the little girl, and instead of breaking he stepped on the accelerator. She died an hour later at the hospital. I spent most of Friday afternoon in a funk, crying and upset over how pointless her death was, imagining how unimaginable something like that is. And how it could happen to any of us, at any time.

So when Sophie was "missing" for that brief time period, it all came rushing in on me--this can't be happening, how could I have lost my child, where is she, is she okay, did someone take her, is she lost, is she hurt, is she alive, what kind of mother am I, Mark is going to kill me, I lost her on my watch, oh my God where's my baby girl?!

So Saturday night and Sunday I was extra sensitive and caring and on my Best Mom behavior. Mark had been dealing with his own demons, since he went to the funeral home visitation and saw the little girl and her family. He didn't have to go through what I did with Sophie missing, but he felt my terror just the same.

I'm going to be really paranoid for a while--I wouldn't let them play in the back yard by themselves yesterday, even though it's fenced in and I've let them out there by themselves lots of times in the past--and maybe that's not such a bad thing.

I'm just so thankful she is okay and everyone is healthy and safe. But I'm still weepy and fragile and had a hard time putting her on the bus this morning. I don't want the unimaginable happening, ever again.

Friday, April 25, 2008

155.2 - TGIF

If ever there was a week when I am ready for Friday, it's this one.

I finally got in a run last night. And it was freaking AWESOME. 5 miles in 56:45, avg pace 11:19. I took off around 5:45 p.m., DH stayed with the kids so I got to run outside in my 'hood. It was really warm but thankfully there was a breeze. I felt strong for most of the run and even had some stretches where I was running consistently for 10s and even some 9:45s. (Of course, then I have to walk to recover a bit, hence my average of 11ish's.)

The only negative was when I hit a boulder masquerading as a rock on the side of the road with my left foot, which turned my left ankle, again. I was so ticked--I stopped and wriggled my ankle and it felt fine the rest of the run, but it was tender when I got home. I RICE'd it, and it's fine today, but I'm guessing it's going to be tender on my runs for a while. I'm getting paranoid about running anywhere but on flat glassy asphalt, which doesn't exist. I swear, I'm looking at the ground when I run but these things just come out of nowhere.

I got home and was deliciously sweaty from head to toe, so took a long shower and then felt really relaxed yet energized the rest of the night. I got to read several chapters of Pasta Queen's book, which is proving to be terrific. I hope to finish it and post a review before I get to meet her (!) on May 3rd.

Tonight DH and I get to go on a date. Dinner at Bonefish Grill and then a movie. Luke is staying at his home away from home, my Mom's house (I swear, the boy would live there if he could). Sophie has a sleepover with a friend.

Spring has officially arrived. I no longer fear any possiblity of snow or frost. It's going to be in the mid 80s today. Woohoo!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Total System Failure

The hits just keep on coming.

So yesterday afternoon when I got home from work, I called the doctor about Luke's eyes and he agreed it was probably pink eye and they called in a prescription. After his nap, I got him up to go to the drug store to pick it up, but as I was changing his diaper I noticed a huge red rash on his back, almost hive-like. And it had spread to his neck and behind his ears. I put him in an Aveeno oatmeal bath and called the doctor, again.

I got the same phone nurse, and she said to bring him in to the after hours clinic since it was already 3:45 p.m. and they didn't have anything left that day. Thankfully Luke's doctor was the after hours doc, so we got to see him (he is the best Peed ever).

Dr. S. confirmed what DH and I thought--Luke's allergic to penicillin. Mark is, so it's not a surprise that Luke is too. He's got a new antibiotic now, and has to stay out of day care one more day because he didn't start the eye drops until yesterday at 4:30 and has to be treated for 24 hours.

Needless to say, since I was at the doctor at 6:30, and at the drugstore dropping off the Rx at 7:15, and back at the drugstore picking up the Rx at 8:00 (which took 30 minutes--it was freaking packed), I didn't get to run. Dammit.

And, because I am self destructive this way and was living on very little sleep for 2 nights and I was pissed beyond measure at the total system meltdown I've been experiencing, I ate Twinkies. Not just one twin pack, but two. I needed cake. I needed the comfort of cake. And a cheap imitation of cake was the quickest fix I could find. Walgreens was my drug pusher last night.

I ate my crack in the car, and of course hid the evidence. And later I felt bad about it, but you know what, I didn't feel that bad. I'm just giving myself a break on this. I'm always going to have a food addiction. It's keeping it in check and doing the right things more often than not that's going to keep my weight and my problem in check.

Last night I did get some sleep (after watching American Idol and being totally miffed at the outcome. What the hell is wrong with America?), mainly thanks to a xanax and the fact that Luke is finally on the right meds and slept well (he only got up once at 3 a.m. to go potty and drink some milk).

Today I'm home with him since he's still contagious, and I'll be doing some work from home. I have no idea if I'll run today. I can only hope it works out. At this point, I'm just having to go with the flow.

And take another xanax if things get really bad. Better living through chemicals, baby. Better living through chemicals.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

154.4 - Salads

I eat a salad just about everyday.

One of my favorite salads making a comeback this Spring is McD's southwest salad w/ grilled chicken. So tasty, not real high in calories (about 500 if you use half the dressing), but loaded with sodium (like 1200 mg total). I try to only eat a couple a week, but last week I think I ate it like 4 times.

I also really like Chik Fil A's grilled chicken garden salad with raspberry vinaigrette. I put the croutons and sunflower seeds on, and again it's about 500 calories.

There's also a new restaurant in Evansville called LA Grill that has the most delicious salad ever, the High Energy. It has avocado and pine nuts--very exotic stuff. It's around 500 calories, too. It's costly, though, so I only get it once or twice a month.

So lunch is a restaurant salad 2 or 3 days a week. The other days I bring stuff from home, like a frozen Amy's Kitchen meal or (gasp) leftovers from something I cooked (that doesn't happen often enough, unfortunately).

If I don't have salad for lunch, I make one at home for dinner. One of my favorites is easy peasy--Boca's spicy chik'n patty cut up into bites, salad mix (my favorite is the 50/50--spring mix & baby spinach), a small handful of pecans, and Newman's Lite Honey Mustard dressing. This is only 350 calories and super tasty.

Now, my new favorite salad doesn't even require dressing. Roni has created a faux McD's southwest salad, and I actually like it better than McD's. It's clean tasting--not heavy at all. It was a snap to make, since I had chicken breasts already cooked & frozen (and they taste completely awesome--thanks Vickie for the "freeze meat after you cook it" tip). I had it for lunch today and have 4 more servings to enjoy this week. I added a few crumbled corn chips to the top for some crunch and omitted the onions (I don't like raw onions). I was skeptical of the "no dressing" thing, but it really didn't need it. There are so many flavors in the chicken/corn/bean mix, it's all you need with a big bed of lettuce.

Don't you want to eat a salad now?


I only worked 2 1/2 hours today at the office. Luke's eyes are worse and it's most likely pink eye. So he had to stay home from day care and Mark's sister watched him for a couple of hours this morning. I called the doctor and he called in a Rx for pink-eye eye drops. I'm ticked that wasn't done yesterday when I took him in because now we are a day behind healing his eyes, but they didn't look like they do today so I guess it was an honest mistake by the Doc. Luke had another terrible night sleeping (and, obviously so did I), and I'm praying the eye meds will start to work by tonight, but I'm guessing I'm in for night 3 of a rough evening. He'll have 4 doses of antibiotic by tonight, so maybe things will be better.

DH is supposed to be home tonight after his client meeting, and I told him I *have* to go running tonight and he can stay with the kids. I haven't been running since Saturday, and the weather has been freaking gorgeous and I'M MISSING IT. I am not happy about this, let me tell you. It's going to be stinking 90 degrees before we know it and I'll have missed our 2 week window of lovely spring temps.

I have started reading PQ's book, but have just not had enough time to read and am barely into chapter 2. Promise to post a review when I'm done.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

155.4 - A "no time to post" post

Today has been nuts. It started with me taking Luke to the doctor because he was up and down all night with a terribly swollen eye (he looked like he'd been in a fight and needed a piece of steak slapped on his face, ala Rocky Balboa). The doctor said his eye has a cold, because Luke rubbed his nose then rubbed his eye (he rubbed it a lot yesterday and last night) and that he has the beginnings of an ear infection. So now both my kiddos are on antibiotics. Thank you, Louis Pasteur!

I got to work around 11 a.m. (thankfully Luke's no more contagious than a regular cold so he could go to day care), and had a boat load of work to do. So the work got done with very little fun in the mix.

I didn't run yesterday as planned, and last night I stayed on track with food but did eat unplanned carby foods (a cereal bar and a mini pack of muffins) around 11 p.m., the first of 3 times that Luke woke up. The good news is, that is the only time I ate in the night. And if ever there was a night to eat, it was last night. I was exhausted from being up and down every 2 hours with poor Luke.

If the kids aren't too miserable when I pick them up, I'm going to make them go to the gym with me so I can run 4 miles. It's a measly 45 minutes, surely they'll survive, right?

Me, on the other hand--if I don't get in a run today, I may not be here tomorrow.

EDIT: Luke was too miserable, so no gym. Both of his eyes are red and swollen and tearing. I'm hoping the antibiotic will kick in tonight and he'll be okay by tomorrow. If DH doesn't get home at a decent hour so I can run tonight (I don't expect him to, he's got a big meeting tomorrow with a new client and is going to work all night probably), I'm gonna try to do a Pilates DVD tonight just so I feel like I've done something.

2nd EDIT: Did you guys watch Barack Obama on TV Tuesday night? Yeah, that was my hometown he was in. In fact, he was speaking right next door to where our office is. When I left work at 5 p.m. the police already had the streets blocked off and people were walking to the stadium. Indiana's historically a Red state, but Evansville tends to run Blue (hence, our Democratic Mayor, who's also quite ambitious, handsome, and well spoken, and I wouldn't be surprised if he's running for president in 20 years). It's no wonder there was a huge turnout.

Monday, April 21, 2008

156.4 - Case of the Mondays

So Saturday I got in my 9 mile run, my last long run before The Half on May 3rd. My time wasn't great, it was on the treadmill and I wasn't feeling super inspired--avg. pace was 11:46. Then I pretty much proceeded to eat like I was on vacation all weekend, hence the lovely uptick in my weight today.

Saturday I had gotten down to 154.8, which shows I still can move that scale down if I just pay attention to what I'm eating and eat proteins and veggies instead of just carbs and fats.

And today I've got a major case of the blahs. Couldn't get up this morning and don't want to be at work. I'd rather be in bed watching season 1 of The Wire on DVD or reading a book.

A light at the end of the tunnel--Pasta Queen's book arrives today from Amazon. I can't wait to read it and find some much needed inspiration.

My miles for April are already over 50, which is a first for me. I worked out 4 times last week for a total of 4 hours, which is a good week.

I've packed my lunch and am tracking food again. I'll run at least 2 while Sophie's at swim class tonight. And I'll do my best to stay on plan so I can get this 4-5 pounds off before the summer starts. I'd love to have it gone by The Half, but realistically I don't see that happening.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Blame it on the earthquake

Holy cow, we had an earthquake this morning. I am terrified of earthquakes. Truly, I can handle just about anything--storms, tornadoes, flying in a plane across the Atlantic, killing spiders--but earthquakes scare the living daylights out of me. When it hit this morning I was asleep on the couch (DH said I was snoring and he couldn't fall asleep at 2 a.m.!) and woke up right away. I knew exactly what it was, since I've been through 3 or 4 here in Southern Indiana. There's nothing normal about your house shaking and the rumbling noise it makes.

The dog was barking and I got up and ran to the kids' rooms while I tried to decide if I was going to wake them up and get them outside. Thankfully it was only a moderate quake (5.3 or 5.4, I've heard different reports), and it only lasted about 60 seconds I guess. So by the time I got to DH in our bedroom (who slept through it), it had stopped.

Then we had an aftershock around 10:20 CST while I was at work. We are on the 2nd floor and it felt pretty strong, but I called my mom (who is keeping the kids today at our house) and she didn't even feel it.

We were only 40 miles from the epicenter. I am praying they are finished. I know it's a good thing when the pressure is released along the fault line but it still scares the pee out of me.

I need to get our emergency kits together. I've been meaning to for years, and never have. Now I think I will start working on them because a natural disaster + no planning = major problem for me and mine.

Okay, so what do I need to blame on the earthquake? I had a total food meltdown last night. Ate everything I could get my hands on. Was awakened 5 times in the middle of the night (by DH twice, by Luke once, by the earthquake, then by Sophie) and I ate something every time. It was like I had a death wish and I was going to kill myself with carbs. Muffins, a bowl of cereal (which I never let myself eat because it's a major trigger food), and cookies.

I'm beating the crap out of myself today with my horrible food behavior (I didn't even weigh this morning, because I was so bloated and I can't handle the number on the scale, and you know that's bad because I'm a scale junkie). Then Pasta Queen writes today about how she's going through rough patches with food and can't explain her behavior. Except she can. It's the same as it's always been, and will always be, and we have to remember this and figure out how to deal. Her post really helped me today.

Everyone has a cross to bear. This is mine.

I made myself wear skinny clothes today (a short skort which shows off the running muscles in my legs and a black knit short sleeved t-shirt) because I feel fat and like a failure but I'm not going to give into that. Yes, I would like to lose more weight. Yes, I still have major fat pockets and lots of muscle building to do. Yes, I am not in control over my food right now. But I have accomplished so much, and no one but me (well, and you guys) even knows I've gained 4 pounds.

So I'm trying to get a grip. I've packed my running clothes and if things go well at work I'm going to leave around 3 and try to get in 9 miles. If I don't get it done today, it will happen tomorrow morning. Running always helps me get perspective on what my body can do.

I also wanted to share this post for a great take on what it means to be in maintenance mode from Jonathan at Jack Sprat. If you don't read him on a regular basis, you should. He is one of the best examples of maintenance-living and has the most insightful posts on how to deal with food issues. And he's a runner.

Hope you all have a stellar weekend. Spring is here, at last.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

155.2 - Spring Fever

Oh my, the weather is the stuff movies in Hollywood are made of. And where am I? Stuck inside at work, like thousands of others aching to enjoy the global warming otherwise known as Spring. Luckily my window opens so at least I have some fresh air.

And guess who's with me today? Miss Sophie. She got a sore throat last night and a low grade fever, and we thought she'd try to tough it out today at school on ibuprofen but she is really sick. The school nurse called at 10:30 to say she had a 100.3 fever and a sore throat. I got her into the doctor at 11:15 and by 11:30 he'd confirmed she has strep. He said it's rampant right now, and the poor girl just doesn't seem to dodge any disease. Thankfully she isn't dizzy with this bout (bacterial infections don't seem to trigger her dizzy spells) and thankfully we caught it early and she's on antibiotics. Now we'll see if Luke stays healthy. He's not nearly as prone to catching stuff as she is.

I got in 5 miles yesterday, which was one less than I'd hoped but really one more than I thought I'd have time for. My avg. speed was 10:46. I tried an energy gel after 3 miles because I wanted to see what they were like and if they helped. I was not prepared for the sticky thick sweetness, even though I'd read they could be horrible. I couldn't get the thing opened right and ended up with gel on my fingers and was sticky for the last two miles. But it must have done something for me because, even though mile 4 was 11:09, mile 5 was 10:19. I did push myself because it was after 5 p.m. when I was running the last mile but the energy gel must have helped.

That's what I'm going to tell myself anyway the next time I'm running a long run and using those gels again. I've got to do 9.3 miles this weekend and then next weekend I'll do 6 and then the next weekend is the Half in Indy. I can't believe it's already almost here.

And I think I need new running shoes. I've only got just over 200 miles on these but I can feel the cushioning under my forefoot getting weak. Do you guys think I have enough time to break in a new pair in 2 weeks before the race? Or should I stick with the ones I've got?

No run today because I need a rest day and have a sick girl who's contagious until tomorrow afternoon and DH is swamped with work and can't keep the kids while I go to the gym. Maybe tonight if it's still nice I'll go for a walk in the neighborhood to work out the cobwebs in my head.
For any American Idol watchers, I wasn't surprised to see Kristy Lee go, but I was kind of sad. She has got to be the most gracious loser I've ever seen. I know why--because she constantly felt like (and was reaffirmed by Simon and America) that she didn't belong there. And she was never going to take it all the way, but I did feel like her last couple of performances were really superb. I was totally bummed and shocked that Michael Johns left last week. What's up with that? He was awesome. David Cook is still hands down the best one there, and if he doesn't win then I will be sorely disappointed. I started voting the week before last, and feel like a geek every time I dial the phone but hey, I gotta vote or I can't complain if DC loses. He is the only person on the show who's album I would buy. (I'd have bought one from Michael Johns, too, and if he gets a record deal, I'll be thrilled.) But I only listen to Dave Matthews anymore so what do I know. ;-)~

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

156.2 - Pavlov's Runner

When I started running longer distances (7+ miles) on the treadmill last winter, I listened to Dave Matthew's Band's Concert in Central Park to get me through the tedium of the run. There is nothing like listening to an 11 minute song that keeps your legs moving independently from your brain. DMB helped me accomplish a lot on that treadmill.

And lately, I've been listening exclusively to DMB when I run. I've downloaded a lot more of his songs from iTunes and ripped my favorites from my CD's into iTunes, and yesterday I finally cleaned my Shuffle of everything but DMB songs. I've been skipping all the others anyway, so I just admitted I'm going to be a DMB junkie for a while and set up the Shuffle that way.

This music choice probably sounds insane to a lot of you music lovers. But here's what it's doing for me--when I hear Dave in my ears, I am automatically in runner's mode. When I listen to Dave in my car, I want to be on the road in my Brooks hitting the pavement. And when "When the World Ends" starts playing, I'm instantly in a 10:30 min/mile pace.

It's a Pavlovian response, and it's pretty cool.
Yesterday I got in a fabulous 4 mile run, avg pace 10:38 which is fast for me. The sun was out and the air was crisp, and I was in shorts and a sleeveless tank. I take a low-dose antibiotic for my skin and it makes me photosensitive, so I even came back with a light tan after my run (gotta start using sunscreen, I know, but it's fun to see some color on my otherwise lily white legs and arms).

Food was good until last night when, yet again, I fell into the carb fest trap. That seems to be a Pavlovian response too--wake up in the middle of the night, feed face. I finished yesterday with 2380 calories, and 480 of those were crap. I also ate a Lean Cuisine and cottage cheese for dinner so I'm guessing my uptick in weight is partly water because of excess sodium. But it still ticks me off.

So I'm back at it today. The next meal is when the good choices start now, not "Next Monday I'll start my diet again." I just have to figure out how to keep myself from saying "I don't give a fudge" when I want to eat chewy granola bars and Entemann's Little Bites muffins at 1 a.m.

This afternoon it's supposed to be 70 degrees by 4 p.m. and I am thrilled. I'm hoping for a 6 miler, if I can get out of work in time. Tomorrow I will be posting a lower weight, or I swear I'm going to hack off a hand to get that number back down where it belongs.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

155.4 - Mr. Happy

Yesterday's spa day was excellent. I actually fell asleep during my facial when she put the mask on and left the room for a while (I woke myself up with a snore, how embarrassing), and then again during my massage while she was working on my back. I have to confess--I took a xanax before my appointments because I was so strung out from all the stress of the day care crap, and it made me super relaxed so I'm sure that's why I fell asleep a couple of times. Whatever, I still felt like a million bucks during and after.

I made it to the gym afterwards for a 2.5 mile run, and my legs felt like lead. I don't recommend going running after 2 hours of relaxation. Then I did 1 more mile while Sophie had swim class. I talked with my mom for most of her swim class and actually walked for half a mile while on my cell phone (I know that's bad gym etiquette but we were talking about the day care stuff and I never talk on my phone on the treadmill, so I don't feel that bad about the bad manners), then finished with a half mile running at 10 min/mile pace.

Food was great yesterday until last night. Then the munchies hit and I had a carb fest of about 400 calories. I still wrote everything down even though it wasn't on plan, and finished the day at 1860 calories. Since I burned about 350 with my 3.5 miles, net calories for the day weren't bad. But carbs that late is bad for fat burning.

My right hamstring has been achy all day today. Not sure what's up with that. I'm running this afternoon in the gorgeous spring sunshine and I'm hoping I don't have any problems.

And Luke did great at the new sitter's yesterday. He's such a champ. Brandy (our friend and his new care giver) said he was terrified of the potty and didn't want to go at all, so she didn't push it with him. My guess is that's where all the problems with the old sitter came from. I feel even better about getting him in this new situation. I thought you all might enjoy a picture of the boy from spring break in my favorite t-shirt of his (don't you just love the drool?).

Guys, if you haven't yet go buy Pasta Queen's book. I got an email today from Amazon that it should arrive on April 21st and I am so excited. Jennette is from Indianapolis and is also running the Mini Marathon on May 3rd, so I'm hoping to meet up with her sometime during or after the race. She and I run almost the exact same pace (her 9.3 mile run was 11:18 average, and my 10 mile run was 11:17 average), so I might even get to run WITH the Queen. How cool would that be? Seriously, go buy her book now. It's sure to be kick ass.

Monday, April 14, 2008

157.8 - I feel so special

I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to weigh in but I can't help myself. I'm such a scale 'ho. I know a lot of this is water weight but a lot of it isn't because my loose work pants are tight. This is where my true maintenance potential is being tested. And y'all know I'm gonna pass with flying colors. This weight is going to be gone before my race on May 3rd.

So, the feeling special part. Check me out here. I emailed Shauna that I feel special being part of her reader group. How freaking cool is it that I have a friend from Australia who lives in Scotland who has written a fabulous book? Love this internet community. Just love it.

I fired Luke's day care lady this morning, and it was rough but I got through it without crying (I cried a little afterwards while talking to DH, I'm not made of steel you know). She was shocked, had no idea and wished I'd have talked with her before I pulled him, said that toddlers process things differently and that's why he said "Ginger hit me." I told her that I'm sorry if I'm wrong but all I can do is trust my instincts and my son. It's over, and I'm glad. DH and I agree that we aren't filing charges or calling the police. My gut tells me she doesn't do this routinely and I don't want to ruin her life. I just want my son out of there, and he is.

I am off to my spa day in a few hours. I cannot wait. I'll have time to get in a solid run before picking up Sophie and Luke for her swim lessons today. I can't wait for that either. Gotta get the calories burned up so I can get that scale moving back down.

Hope you guys have a great start to the week. Thanks for the b-day wishes and the continued support with the boy's caregiver.
Smooches & Hugs,

Sunday, April 13, 2008

154.8 - Happy Birthday to Me

I'm 38 years old today, or as I like to say a mere 2 years from my 40th birthday. Ugh.

I don't feel 38. And I'm glad I discovered running late in life because it's going to keep me young. If I stay healthy and keep running, my hope is to run a marathon the month of my 40th. Nothing like having long range plans, right?

Last night we went to Hooters for dinner. Love that place. It's loud and they are kid friendly and they have the best cheeseburgers and fries. And since we got there before 6 p.m. the kids ate for free.

Today has been absolutely decadent. Our church had a pancake breakfast, so I started with pancakes and eggs. Then for lunch we went to a Japanese hibachi grill restaurant, and the chef lit the onion volcano fire with his finger! We eat at this place a lot, and I've never seen that before. He's taken the hibachi show to a whole new level. (Mark said while we were in the bathroom the same chef got carried away with his egg show and the egg sailed over his shoulder and just missed a customer before landing on the floor. Mark heard the guy whisper, "Is that part of the show?" Wished I'd seen that.)

Then we came home and had cupcakes and ice cream. The fam sang Happy Birthday and I put Luke down for his nap and then I took a (wait for it) four hour nap. Four hours. I can't remember the last time I took a nap that long.

So now I've got the boy in the tub, am waiting on laundry in the dryer, will have a little pizza for dinner (I am so not going to weigh in tomorrow), and then put the kids to bed and continue the relaxation fest.

DH has cleaned the kitchen, and just paid the pizza guy.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Oh, wait, except it does because tomorrow afternoon is my spa day. A facial, massage, then a run. What a lucky girl I am.

Thank you for all of your support on the day care thing. I can't tell you how much it means to me for you all to confirm my gut feelings, and your thoughtful words have also helped me find some peace with the whole situation. I'm not looking forward to the call tomorrow morning, but at least it will be over and done with. My sister in law has said I need to file charges with the juvenile police, and I'm thinking I should but I don't have proof (other than the bruises which I can't prove she put there) and that would be so hard. I'm still trying to figure that part out. I don't want anyone else hurt.

Friday, April 11, 2008

154.2 - What a day

Guys, you would not believe the day I had. First, let me say it was supposed to be a half day of work with the afternoon being my birthday (which is Sunday, the 13th) gift to myself--a relaxing and pampering facial and massage--then I was going to run 3 miles. But that didn't happen.

We were backed up today at work because we lost all the power to our building Thursday because of a freak occurrence downed power line and it took all day for "them" to fix it, and we pretty much did nothing on Thursday after 11:30 a.m. So I had a crap load of work to do, not to mention DH has a new client meeting on Saturday morning I had to help him prep for, and I had umpteen things to do for our clients' last minute IRA contributions.

And our server and hard drive blew because of the power surge/outage and so we didn't have access to most of our files, which freaked DH out (thankfully our computer guy was able to recover the files, but we didn't get them until after 3 p.m. today). And for a while we thought the printer was blown, too, until our computer guru told us to check the network cord, which thankfully was just loose.

But it all boiled down to a nonstop work day with lots of curse words and DH and I having a tiff or two and me working until 6:00 p.m. Which was not in my plans at all. DH is STILL at the office working, and it's 11:30 p.m. right now (poor guy).

Friday nights we often get together with a big group of friends from church, and tonight since I was without DH, I thought I'd take the kids instead of being cooped up at home by myself. Great choice, it was nice to be with our church family. But then I learned that one of our friends was in the ER with an appendix attack. She's okay, they are taking it out, and she'll be fine. Did I mention this is the friend who has 4 kids? So her husband is with her and the kids got farmed out to various families. We've got the 4 year old daughter, who is sweet as can be and gets all of Sophie's hand me down clothes. She'll probably be with us until Sunday night, is my guess, which is fine but it adds an extra element of effort to my weekend. And I probably won't be able to run tomorrow morning at the gym like I'd hoped, unless I can get the gym to take a guest kid (which I'm going to try to do because I need to run tomorrow, and bad).

The worst thing that happened has to do with Luke. This breaks my heart in so many ways. On Wednesday night I noticed that he had some bruises on his bottom, in a line across the top of his butt cheeks. I thought they looked a little strange, and was going to ask his day care lady on Thursday morning if he had fallen or something. Well I forgot, then Thursday night I saw them again and they were darker, as bruises tend to get as they age. I asked Luke what happened to his bottom, how did he get hurt. He said "Ginger." I said what about Ginger? He said "Ginger hit me." This woman is a Christian and has been taking care of my son for 2 years. So I thought, okay he's a toddler, maybe he's not sure what he's saying here.

So I asked her about the bruises this morning (I didn't tell her what Luke said) and she was really strange about the whole thing. She didn't ask to look at them, didn't act defensive but barely reacted at all. I asked if he had fallen or bumped into something hard--there are 4 or 5 small bruises on his bum in a line, and the kid doesn't bruise easily like I do, so it took some force to get these--and she said something like "oh I don't know, you know how kids are, they play and fall down." I just didn't have a good feeling about it. Then, my mom tells me that Ginger acted weird when she picked Luke up today (mom gets Luke early on Fridays). She said she was talking about how she's potty training Luke and the methods she's using and how Luke didn't want to potty today, and Mom said she just seemed defensive and like she was covering up for something. Mom tells me all this before she has any idea about the bruising and my conversation with Ginger and what Luke said.

It all just adds up to too many questions. And Luke has said in the past, on more than one occasion, "Ginger smacked me." I have not thought much of that, because, well, because he's 2 years old and toddlers get their hands smacked and bottoms swatted sometimes. But I've never seen a bruise on him until now. And the way she reacted was just weird. And my gut tells me I've got to get him out of there.

Mark doesn't want him going back either, and I talked with several of my friends tonight and they agreed that even if she didn't do anything, it's not worth taking a chance on it. So Luke has to leave his day care and thankfully my friend Brandy has a day care in her home where Luke can go until he gets into a day care center later this summer for early pre-school (he won't be 3 until November).

So I've been crying a lot today and have felt just awful about all this. I've felt bad for my baby boy, who thankfully isn't seriously hurt but I still hate it that he was in any kind of potential harm or made to feel bad. For Ginger, who I truly don't think would hurt any child but things just aren't adding up here; if she did hurt him then she needs mental help and I should file charges, but I can't prove anything and what if she's innocent? And for me, because I absolutely hate confrontation and I have to call this woman Monday and tell her I'm not bringing my son back to her ever again because he said she hit him, and even though there's no way I can say with 100% certainty that I believe she hurt him, I can't take him back to a place where there's even a 5% chance he could be harmed. He's got bruises, he says Ginger hit me, and she didn't even attempt to explain what might have happened, plus my gut tells me things aren't right. This is going to suck big time, and I'm sure I'll cry while talking with her because I can't control my emotions when I'm angry and confrontational and nervous and sad. It all comes streaming out of my eyes.

It's just been too much. I could care less about food, and haven't eaten much today except for tonight, when I took the kids through McD's drive through on the way home and got some chocolate chip cookies. I inhaled 4. Barely tasted them. Just wanted to be numb.

There are good things on the horizon though. I have new day care immediately, thanks to my gracious friend. My family is healthy. We are getting new business. And I got to reschedule my spa appointment for Monday, which is the day after my birthday but it's close enough.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

155.2 - Back to Basics

So this morning's scale reading was not pretty. But not a huge surprise given the amount of carbs I have been eating. Yesterday I had not only a Panera cinnamon scone for breakfast (darn wholesalers bringing us goodies), but also pancakes at 9 p.m. Um, yeah, that's going to make the scale go up.

Not to mention since McD's brought back their Southwest salad, I've had one every day. They aren't that high in calories, but with the dressing it's over 1200 grams of sodium and that's a lot of bloat.

When my weight is up a pound or two, it's not a big deal. But I am now at my upper range and in the red zone of my comfort level. Gotta get it back down in the green zone.

I wrote down everything I ate today and stuck to my LAWL exchange plan and so far am at 1425 calories. I've got a yogurt and strawberries still to eat, and as long as I can keep myself from eating a bunch of junk in the middle of the night I'll stay on track. I'm going to keep writing stuff down until I get my weight back down in the 150-152 range. And then who knows, maybe I'll keep it up and actually make it to goal.

I also ran 5 miles tonight. They were slow and sloggy, and I'm not sure why but I just wasn't feeling it. It happens, I know, and it's probably just an extension of the hormonal garbage I've got going on right now. But at least I was out there.

We are hopefully not going to get hit by the worst of the storms coming our way. The weather man said that Kentucky and Tennessee are going to get the bad stuff and we are in for some rain and thunder until midnight but then it's supposed to stop. Jill said they got slammed with bad storms last night and it was coming my way (thanks for the head's up sistah!). I'm hoping we are gonna dodge this batch.

I'm watching American Idol on the DVR as I type this, and I just have to say it--what is up with the skinny jeans? Simon was right when he told Carly she needed someone to dress her. I can say this because I have hips--you cannot wear skinny jeans tucked into boots unless you are a stick. It doesn't work if you're curvy. I would never be caught dead in some of the stuff she and Ramielle wore. Carly, please stop wearing those awful clothes. Okay, rant's over.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

153.8 - Blah Blah Blah

Today was a rest day so no running, and it was day 2 of my "I can't stand anyone or anything" mood. Does anyone else get massive hormone swings about a week and half after TTOM? It happens to me every month, and I know it's hormonal but it just sucks.

The kids get on my nerves and I don't respond to them very well when they are being their normal kid selves. And poor DH knows to just stay out of my way. He got home tonight just before 7 and asked if it would be okay if he took the kids to Target. I said YES PLEASE!

So I had some dinner (Amy's Kitchen pizza pocket and a big bowl of strawberries, yum) and then got online and bought a couple new sports bras (I needed some racer back support bras for my racer back running shirts that I wear in the summer and got two of these from T9) and a pair of running shorts. Now I'm watching John & Kate Plus 8 and wishing I had about 3 more hours to myself (and very glad I don't have 8 kids).

Tomorrow will be a better day, let's hope.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

153.6 - 6 Word Memoir

I am in one of those moods where everything and everybody is annoying me, so this will be a quickie because I'm sure you are getting on my nerves too. Ha.

Carly tagged me with the 6 word memoir, and I've tried to think of something creative but these words are stuck in my head and won't leave, so I guess this is it:

Daughter Sister Friend Wife Mother Runner

I really like this quote that I found on Erin Shea's blog, and even though it's a bit too snarky to be my memoir, it's 6 words and it's totally cool so I'm posting it for your blogging enjoyment:

My sport is your sport's punishment.

Please tag yourself if you haven't done the 6 word memoir yet. I'd love to see what you come up with.
Thankfully, guys, my ankle seems to be okay. It didn't hurt this morning at all and it was fine all day. I was able to run 2 miles tonight while Sophie was at swim class, and I ran part of the miles pretty hard and it didn't hurt so I think I dodged a bullet. It's mildly achy now, though, so I'm going to rest tomorrow from running because I don't want to push it, just in case. I've got to run 9 miles on Friday or Saturday and need to stay strong.

Thanks for the info on the gu/gels/etc. I've got to get some of that before my next long run. I can't wait to see what kind of difference it makes.

Off I go to watch American Idol and fight the night time food cravings. If I so much as walk into the kitchen, I want to eat.

Think a cup of hot tea will help? Yeah, me neither.

Monday, April 07, 2008

153.6 - Summer Runnin'

It felt like summer today on my 3.1 mile run, even though it was only 73 degrees. I headed out at 4:20 p.m. and thanks to Daylight Savings Time the sun was still plenty high in the sky. For the first time in months, I ran outside in shorts and a sleeveless running shirt.

And it rocked.

Except at .20 miles when I turned my ankle. Yeah, not so much rocking then. I took a different route than usual since I only had 40 minutes and I wanted to get in 3+ miles, and my usual route makes me wait at a major highway for at least 5 minutes (total, coming and going) so I thought I'd take a different road today.

It started out great, loving the sunshine and warmth and light wind. I knew the parking lot I was running through (to get to a pretty area where I could run in a park--I wasn't just running a parking lot) had cracks, but I didn't realize the cracks were quite uneven. Well I hit one of those uneven spots just right, and my left ankle turned.

I stopped, of course, and paused my iPod and leaned over and gripped the nearby guardrail and nearly wept out of fear I'd really injured myself. I repeated over and over, "oh please, don't let it be bad, don't let it be bad" and I rolled my ankle around and flexed and pointed my foot and tested my weight to see how bad it hurt. It was tender, but it didn't appear to be swelling and it wasn't that painful to walk so I decided I'd try to run a half mile and see if it was okay.

And it was. At least, for the 3.1 miles I ended up running. Now my ankle's pretty achy and I'm thinking I should have bagged the run instead. But I'm a runner, darn it, and I didn't want to quit just because I turned my ankle a little bit.

I'm hoping it wasn't a colossally stupid thing to do and I don't look back on this with a bitter laugh in a few days and think, "Well I hope you learned your lesson, missy. Just what do you think you've got to prove? Go home next time you think you hurt yourself, 'kay?"

After we got the kids to bed I put an ice pack on it, which unfortunately was 4 hours after it happened, but that's the best I could do. And it's wrapped in a bandage and elevated while I'm typing this. I'm going to ice it again in about half an hour, and then try to keep it elevated while I sleep.
We had a fabulous weekend, thanks in no small part to the fabulous spring weather that finally decided to arrive. I was wiped out after my run Saturday, but had tons of stuff to do so there was no rest for me. I started feeling re-energized by evening, and DH and I had a great time at the charity auction (we bid on and won a beautiful original water color painting from a local artist). Sunday I felt fine, a little stiff but not really sore at all, and today I could not wait to get outside and run in the gorgeous weather. So it's good to know the 10 miles didn't destroy me.

Speaking of those 10 miles, the inhaler has worked wonders. I can breathe again while running, which is a big plus. I felt super strong the first 7 miles and only started to tire on the last 3, which unfortunately were up some gentle inclines. I can't really call them hills because Evansville doesn't have many hills, but there is the occasionally elevation and I saved a long slow elevation for around mile 7.5-8, and then again around 8.5. I didn't plan my course--I just went out and ran (I love my Garmin)--so I didn't even think about making the hardest part the end of the run. Oh well. I still finished 10 even if I didn't finish all that strong. I was really thankful I could breathe the whole time and I also didn't end up with even one blister (I love body glide, too).

Question for you runners--do you eat gu or sport beans on 10 mile runs? I don't know when you're supposed to refuel. I didn't and I haven't on any of my long runs yet, because I didn't think they were that long. But I bet if I'd popped some caffeine or sugar around mile 6 I'd have felt a lot better for those last miles. What do you all do and what's your preferred poison? Many thanks in advance for your helpful comments.
I am trying my best not to eat anything else tonight, and so am off to finish laundry and read your blogs. TTFN.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

153.6 - 10 MILES

I did it.

10 miles


Avg pace: 11:17

Calories burned: 1201

I'm gonna go pass out now.


Friday, April 04, 2008

154.0 - A Rambling Friday Post

It's late Friday (well, it's only 8:45 p.m. but that's getting pretty late for me) and I don't have much in the way of inspiration, so I'll just ramble a while.

It was a good day, busy at work but I had enough time to have lunch with one of my best friends that I hadn't seen in a couple of months. And I got a run in this afternoon. 4 miles indoors, 3.5 miles on the treadmill and .5 miles on the track. The kids are healthy and Sophie is spending the night at my mom's tonight; we have Luke here, because Mom wanted to have just Sophie and my 4 year old niece Jillian for a girls' night. (Never fear, little Luke gets to spend the night at his Mamaw's tomorrow night.)

Mark and I are getting ready to watch Atonement on DVD. He's finishing up a movie he started watching last night and so I have a few minutes here with you all.

Tomorrow I'm going to run 10 miles. The weather is supposed to be absolutely gorgeous, so thankfully it will be 10 miles outdoors. I'm a little psyched out about the idea of running for 2 hours, but I know I can do it. I'm just going to take it easy, walk if I need to, wear my water bottle belt so I stay hydrated, and enjoy myself.

Tomorrow night DH and I are going to a charity silent auction/dinner thing with a couple of our clients. I get to wear one of my new size 8 dresses and I'm pretty excited about that. It should be a fun evening, even though we have to drive about 50 minutes to get there (that's a long distance for us, since we can get anywhere in Evansville within 15 minutes; this event is in New Harmony, though, so it's a haul). Sophie will be staying with my sister (she's Jillian's mom) and the girls will probably be sick of each other by the time the night's over. I'm glad I don't have to be a witness to that.

My eating has been pretty atrocious this week, and I'm lucky I haven't gained more poundage. I've been an emotional eating machine, mostly PMS related but I think I also got in the habit of eating badly over vacation and it hasn't let up yet.

At least I've gotten in some decent mileage so far this week and that's kept the net calories down, but I'm going to work on my food intake this weekend. I've learned you can't "wait until Monday" to start being healthy. There's no time like the present.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

154.0 - Vitamin I

So, let's talk about ibuprofen, or "Vitamin I" as it is sometimes called in chronic-users circles. I'm a chronic user, because I'm a pansy and don't like pain, and I feel pain a lot--in my legs after a long (and sometimes short) run, in my head for various reasons, and in my lady parts at TTOM.

I was listening to one of Jillian Michaels's podcasts yesterday and she was slamming ibuprofen and other NSAIDS because they hinder the body's ability to recover and can even break down muscle tissue. This freaked me out a little, because I probably take 6 - 10 tablets of Vitamin I a week.

But before I throw out all the bottles of my treasured little brown pills, I did some internet searching of my own. This article says:

Many people believe that taking an NSAID precludes muscle growth. That is not what the research says. The research says it attenuates the post-exercise increase in protein synthesis; however, protein synthesis is still significantly increased over baseline levels. Therefore, despite taking an NSAID you can still grow big muscles. This makes sense. An NSAID works on prostaglandins which are just one of many mediators of inflammation [2]. These other mediators are still functioning correctly and proceed with tissue repair [3].

Here's the abstract of a study on pain relievers and muscle proteins. Its summary:
These results suggest that over-the-counter doses of both ibuprofen and acetaminophen suppress the protein synthesis response in skeletal muscle after eccentric resistance exercise. Thus these two analgesics may work through a common mechanism to influence protein metabolism in skeletal muscle.

Yeah, that clears it all up, doesn't it? I'm not an elite athlete or body builder, so it's not a huge deal to me. But I am nearing my 40th birthday and need every fiber of muscle I can hold on to.

I suppose just like anything, moderation is key. So I'm going to start mixing up my pain reliever usage. This morning when I was feeling some pain, I reached for a bottle of Tylenol instead of ibuprofen. But I'll still be popping a couple of brown pills the morning of my half marathon.
Got in a great run yesterday, outside in the sunshine and upper 50s. In shorts, no less (my poor legs are so white, I hope I didn't blind anyone driving by me). Since I had Garmin with me, I've got real digits to share:
3.5 miles in 36:59: avg. pace 10:33
Lap 1: 10:21
Lap 2: 10:46
Lap 3: 10:46
Lap 4: 10:06

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

154.2 - Random Wednesday

Today's post will be random tidbits from my life:

Saw the doctor yesterday about my running/breathing issues. He said it's possibly asthma, and gave me a sample inhaler for me to try. He also took blood and is looking for anemia, which can present similar symptoms. I used the inhaler yesterday on my run, and I *think* it helped a little bit.

My resting heart rate and blood pressure yesterday were awesome. 60 bpm for the heart rate, and 108/65 for my BP. All that running is making my ticker healthy.

Yesterday's run was a short one, only 2 miles because of time issues. I made it a tempo run, though, so it was tough. 2 minutes at 9.0 min/mile alternated with 2-3 minutes of walking/slow jogging to recover, for 21 minutes. I didn't have breathing issues like before, but it was a short run so I'm not 100% sure if the inhaler worked, or if I just didn't stress my lungs enough.

My son informed me this morning he's no longer a baby. One of his favorite things to do is tell us all our status in the family. "You Mommy. Sophie is my sister. That's Daddy. I Luke. I a baby." This morning, he looked up at me in his crib as I was changing his diaper and said "I a big boy mommy. I not a baby anymore." We're potty training him, and we're telling him he's a big boy all the time. I guess it's finally sinking in. I picked him up and squeezed him tight. Love that little guy.

Last night I don't know what got into me. I had a ton of energy--I did some laundry, cleaned the kitchen, cooked a bunch of meat (then froze it all) on the Foreman grill, made a black bean/zucchini dish, cleaned the kitchen again from the cooking, packed Sophie's lunch, packed my gym bag and put it in the car, made myself a salad and ate a dish of strawberries--and this was all after 9 p.m. I watched American Idol while in the kitchen which helped the time go by, and then around 11 p.m. I settled down to read my book. I didn't get to sleep until around 12:30 a.m.

Sophie woke up at 2:30 a.m. last night, and of course woke me up to get her some milk and lay down with her. The kid had insomnia, if that's possible for a 6 year old. She tossed and turned and couldn't sleep until around 4 a.m. Which means I didn't go back to sleep until 4 a.m. I'm a tired mess today.

I'm trying to get to work earlier every day, and so I was up this morning at 6:30 a.m. (I know, that's sleeping in for a lot of you but I set my own hours and I like to sleep late. Problem is, I'm not getting all my work done so my lazy mornings need to stop). I still didn't get to the office until 8:45, so I guess I've got to get up at 6 a.m. I shouldn't complain, I know. But I'm a sissy and like my beauty sleep.

My night eating habit has returned. I didn't keep up the No Night Eating for 21 days, so the habit didn't stick. After this bout of PMS is over (major chocolate and carb cravings right now), I'm going to pick up The Habit again.

Planning on an outside run today. The weather is finally turning to warm. Upper 50s and sunshine today. And it's a bit of a reprieve until the rain returns tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

153.8 - Happy Weight

I found this on Jill's blog yesterday, and think it's cool. I don't know what kind of formula they use or how scientific it is, but it confirms my intuitive belief that I would be happiest at around 140 pounds, which is what the Happy Weight Calculator says I should be after inputing my variables.

140 puts me well in the Normal category on the BMI table. It's also 5 pounds less than I weighed when I met my husband at age 23, when I thought I should lose a few pounds.

I would love to weigh 125 pounds, that "gold standard" old-fashioned weight formula for a girl of 5 feet 5 inches, where the first 5 feet is 100 pounds and every inch thereafter should only add 5 more pounds. But I don't ever remember weighing that--ever--and I'm sure that even if I could starve myself to that weight, I'd never be able to maintain it.

With all that said, I am at a happy weight now. I am in single digit clothing in almost all the styles I try on. I can pick a Medium off the rack in most clothes and know they will fit. My husband thinks I'm sexy again, and I feel confident enough to wear shorts and sleeveless tops and even a bathing suit (albeit a suit with shorts/skort and a tankini, but still, it's a bathing suit). And, perhaps most impressive of all (to me, at least), I can run a mile in 9:18.

Would 140 be my happiest weight? I'm guessing even if I make it to that mythical number, I'll still be unhappy with parts of my body. I'm always going to have saddle bags. My inner thighs will never be slender and not rub together (I've had chub rub since I was 6, why would it stop now?). I'll never have 6-pack abs.

That is, unless I visit Dr. 42420 (our local plastic surgery guru) and have him work his magic on me. However, since I don't happen to have an extra $30 grand lying around for an Extreme Makeover, I'm just going to have to learn to be happy being me.

Whatever the scale says.