One more pound is gone. Yippee.
I had a mini-breakdown at LA Weight Loss yesterday. I didn't cry or anything, but just needed to talk about how they were going to help me when I (a) hit a plateau and stop losing and (b) get to maintenance.
It's been relatively easy these past 16 weeks to get to where I am now, 31 pounds down. And I say "easy" not as in I haven't worked for it, but "easy" as in the things I've done have gotten me results. So I'm afraid of what happens when it's not so easy.
At this weight, I look better and feel better and have a closet full of clothes that fit and look nice. I can run faster, longer, and can get through a 60 minute cardio class and keep up. It's a nice weight to be at, even if it's not goal weight.
I keep thinking-- could I stop here? What if I don't lose any more weight? Could this be where I'd be happy? I think I could be, for a while. Maybe through the summer, since I have summer clothes that fit.
I also wonder--should I stop here for a while? Just to stabilize? Give my body a chance to catch up?
It doesn't really matter, I suppose, because I'm going to stay on plan and keep exercising, and if the weight keeps coming off, it keeps coming off.
Feeling good about myself DURING weight loss is such foreign territory. I've felt sh!tty about the way I look for so long, I am just struggling to wrap my head around this new more satisfied feeling.
I was happy about my talk with the LAWL counselor and glad I took the time to get things off my chest. Especially when I learned what I'll eat on maintenance, and it is SO MUCH MORE than what I'm eating now. Once I reach goal, there's 6 weeks of stabilization, where we add foods back a week at a time and if I stay within 3 pounds of goal, we keep adding food back. Then 1 year of maintenance where I weigh in with LAWL once a week. And the amount of food I can eat during maintenance is more livable long term than what I'm eating now.
So I feel better about the future. Now I just need to learn to be comfortable living in my present.