Tuesday, June 24, 2008

151.2 - A Net Force

The other day, as I was rhapsodizing on how fantastic it felt to be on track for two weeks, I quoted one of Newton's Laws, which Vickie keeps on the side bar of her blog: "An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by a net force."

I had left off the "unless acted upon" part, because I felt invincible at the time. You know that feeling--when all is right with the world and nothing's gonna hold you back.

That's usually when the rug gets yanked out from under you.

My net force this week is Sophie's tonsil surgery. Obviously, I knew going in that it would be a major disruption to my routine. And I knew there would be dangerous food in my house and I'd come up with a plan of sorts to stay away from her stash.

But last night, when she was having a horrible reaction to her pain medication (she couldn't sleep, felt agitated, and worst of all, dizzy when she closed her eyes), I lost it. I'd been strong all day, watching my baby struggle to swallow, being so brave but still in pain. She'd had a decent day, considering all she'd gone through. And then at 8:30 it all fell apart.

I couldn't handle it any more after 2 hours of her being in utter misery. We finally gave her a phenegran suppository (a major drama in and of itself) which stopped the dizziness and put her to sleep. And then I needed to be medicated.

So I turned to my drug of choice and didn't stop eating until I felt numb. I logged it all in WW Online this morning, and estimate I ate 59 points for the day.

The good news is, I'm not burying my head in the sand and pretending it didn't happen. The other good news is, it was one day and I didn't regain 55 pounds overnight. I'll be back on track--today--and will manage to pull out a decent week, even if it's not perfect.

The bad news is, I'm pretty sure we're not out of the woods yet with her tonsils. I've read that days 3-5 can be the worst. We did get her some different pain meds last night (had to call the doc at 9 p.m. to get a new Rx, and thankfully the liquid tylenol with codeine is not causing problems like the lortab liquid did), and she slept all night (I woke her up every 4 hours to give her pain medicine at night, but she fell right back to sleep).

So my motion is currently on hold. And I'm going to have to repeat one of my favorite mantras for a while..."this is only temporary."


Jill said...

Oh girl, I am so sorry you (and Sophie) are having such a hard time. But like you said, it's ONE DAY, and you didn't gain 55 pounds. Heck, you didn't even gain 5 pounds! You are back on track and you will do better tonight.

Even if you need to "medicate" yourself again, at least you got the biggie out of the way, and maybe a little less will be enough to soothe your nerves. Just hang in there Laura, everything will be back to normal soon!

Sending huggy vibes your way (((hugs))) =)

Carly said...

Hang in there!! Sophie is so brave. I have had a TON of surgeries having my tonsils out was the worst one. After a few days, I was back to normal. I hope she is feeling up to her normal self soon.

Today is a new day. You recorded it and you know food doesn't fix it. It was a minor slip and you are on top of it. You are still doing awesome.

Helen said...

Sorry Sophie and you had a rough night! :-( I'm sure I would have done the same thing...looked for a "treat" to assuage the stress. And whatever you "gained" is just visiting...will disappear in one day of "right" eating again. Really. :-)

Amy@RunnersLounge said...

So sorry to hear this - nights and first thing in the morning is the worst. Keep up with pain meds and get some rest yourself. Just a few more days!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Laura, I am so sorry to hear what a hard time you are having. Only 59 points? You are my hero! I'm glad you have the wisdom to remember 'this is only temporary' even in the middle of a crisis.

Heather said...

I hope things with your daughter improve, and dont worry about the stress eating. you are right, you wont regain everything overnight, and its natural to return to something that is comforting when things like this happen. just move on and get back to your healthy habits.

Vickie said...

Laura - while it is still fresh in your mind - set up a

GO TO arsenol in your mind

either a controlled large volume/low calorie food like substance (protein shake in blender with ice to make is large serving comes to mind)
or an action/activity
(prayer, pilates, treadmill blow out run, art).

Mine was BATH TUB for a long time. I sat in the bath (and bawled or seethed) until I could trust myself to get out. Sometimes I was in there for a LONG time.

Everyone is right - this is one thing - one time - one day. And you had a child with surgery - cut yourself some slack.

But things will continue to happen and learning how to DEAL is part of the maintenance learning curve. You have to reteach your brain how to DEAL.

On a side note,
Marian wrote:
But when you put down EVERYTHING - that's when you really see how batshit crazy you are!!

in 6/23/08 comments on Frances' blog:

This might be one of the all time best lines. Says it all very well.

Vickie said...

Briefly stated, the three laws are: An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by a net force. Force equals mass multiplied by acceleration. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. (Laws of motion by Sir Issac Newton)

MCM Mama said...

{{{HUGS}}} for the stress. I hope Sophie improves quickly. I feel for her on reactions to pain meds. I can't take a lot of them and when I do, the side effects are sometimes worse than the pain.

Good for you for realizing and acknowledging the use of food as medication. I've done the same thing. I'm sure you'll get back on track as soon as the stress lessens a bit.

Vickie said...

are you giving her something so she doesn't get constipated? That is the next thing that happens with pain meds.

Tigerlilly said...

Stay strong...this too shall pass!

I am de-lurking myself to ask a favor. I am making a blogger quilt and am asking all my favorite bloggers to dig down deep and find your creative side. Would you be willing to quilt a 12" X 12" square? Make it reflect who you are!

email me at whereistigerlilly@yahoo.com if your interested!

L.G. said...

I'm so sorry about you and Sophie. I have to agree with Jill, one day will not equal 55 pounds. You've had a very bad day.

Hopefully by today, it's a bit better for both of you.

BTW, you should give yourself LOTS of credit for counting those points bite by bite. OK?

Non-Runner Nancy said...

You are doing great, whether you realize it or not. Most people would have crumbled much sooner. Hang in there. It's a tough time that I know you will get through.


G.G. said...

I hope Sophie is better by now, Laura. It's got to be tough seeing your little girl hurting. As for excuses we use to allow ourselves to eat the problem stuff--I BRIBED myself with chocolate yesterday. I think eating b/c you're worried about your daughter has a much lower karmic debt load. (For what that's worth)

Jess said...

I'm sorry about everything becoming chaotic and throwing you off your routine, but you have the right attitude about its temporary status and you'll be back in motion in no time!

Melvina said...

This is great info to know.