I just drove through my gym's parking lot and didn't go in to workout. I was there, I was planning on a run, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't do it.
I've got lots of excuses. It's been a really long day, with Sophie at the office again (she's better, just had to have her fever free for 24 hours before she could go back to school), and I worked straight through all day with no break. It's only 20 degrees outside. I spent 45 minutes driving in the city after work--picking up Luke, dropping off FedEx, dropping off mail, picking up McD's for the kids. My hormones are in the basement with my usual monthly mid-cycle blahs.
Even with all this stacked against me, I was still determined to go, even though I didn't wanna. When I pulled into the parking lot, Luke said "No not there!" He's been pitching fits when we go to the gym after day care lately, and he wasn't in the mood to go either.
When I didn't find a parking space quickly, I just kept driving. My last remnants of energy and motivation left me like the air out of a slow leaking balloon. I didn't have enough reserves left to drag the kids in there kicking and screaming (well, one of them would have been screaming) and then change and then workout and then get them in their coats again and then back in the car and then at last home.
I'm am so exhausted with the Stuff of Life right now.
I know a workout would have energized me. I would have felt renewed and had happy hormones flowing through me. And if it was just me and just the run, I'd have parked the car and gone in. But the extra curricular activity that went along with it seemed insurmountable.
Life - 1, Laura - 0
I'll repeat one of my other favorite mantras now.... "This is only temporary."