So yesterday I had my first real binge since being on LAWL. Everything just got to be too much-- My son was sick and I was home all day with him, sitting on my big butt watching TV. I didn't get to do my Thursday Step class. DH has been out of town since Tuesday. My house is a freaking disaster.
After I put the baby down to sleep at 6:30 pm, I had my LA Lite, and had been on plan all day. But I couldn't stop after eating the LA Lite. I just wanted to get NUMB. Here's the laundry list:
1/3 of a tub of frozen cool whip free
2 pkgs of LAWL cookies (90 cals each)
1 LA Lite (not OP, 160 calories)
2 mini 3 musketeers
It could have been worse. But it was bad enough that I was in a food coma for a few hours and made my daughter watch TV while I slept on the couch. I was just at such an emotional low and had no way out. I want to cry now thinking about it-- not because I ate the food, but because I just felt so alone and helpless.
Going through this has shown me a couple of things.
1) I NEED the gym for my feel-good hormones and to keep me on track. A big reason why I wanted to eat was I felt resentful I didn't get to go to MY Thursday step class.
2) I'm not immune to binge or emotional eating. Yes, I've been "good" for almost 3 months. No, I'm not perfect or a diet saint. I've still got issues with food. And they are obviously very close to the surface.
Thank God DH will be home this afternoon and I will get to go to the gym for a date with the treadmill. I think I'll throw in some crunches and push ups for good measure.