Wednesday, October 01, 2008

147.0 - Control

Today is day 3 of carbing down, and this is scary to say but I kind of like it.

I love knowing that the scale will be lower tomorrow because I ate fewer carbs today. I am thoroughly looking forward to my carb up day tomorrow (pumpkin pie at lunch!), but am already disappointed in knowing that Friday my weight will go back up.

This is a dangerous little game, don't ya think?

I've never thought I could have an eating disorder. And don't get me wrong--I don't have an eating disorder now, other than, you know, I weigh myself every day and record everything I'm putting in my mouth. But that's called successful weight management, yes?

In all seriousness--I can totally see the attraction to controlling food intake and feeling more in control by eating a certain way. I *like* that empty feeling. I *like* eating clean food. I like how I feel, how I look, how my clothes are fitting looser when I'm not eating junk food.

I'm not in that "I won't eat so I have control" mind set. I'm in the "I won't eat junk food so I have control" mind set. Is there a difference?

I think so. I hope so.

Anyway, I'm not making myself throw up and I'm eating every 3-4 hours, so clearly I'm not bulimic or anorexic.

Just wondering out loud about eating mentality.....


MCM Mama said...

I think most of us have issues with food, but that doesn't make them an eating disorder. I don't think that there's anything wrong with liking control over your food as long as it's not affecting your health.

Good job on the continued weight loss.

Vickie said...

Actually I think most of us have issues with food and I think most of us have eating disorders. . .

Jill said...

I don't think you are on the verge of an eating disorder. You are excited that you have found the control that you always thought was so elusive! I've been the same way. If you are like me, then the empty feeling and the fit of your clothes is not something you're used to, so of course you like it. I agree it's addictive, but I don't think that means you are on the edge of an ED. One small push could send me right back into a bag of Cheetos, but I'm fighting like heck to stay vigilant and mindful of my progress.

You are doing fine - enjoy it!!

PS - having said all that, I do agree with Vicki that EVERYONE has food issues/disorders, some to a lesser degree than others!

Pokey said...

I dont think there is anything wrong with having a drive for *control* over what you put in your mouth.

An obsession? Maybe ;)

A disorder? Not even close.

I do think its important to keep in mind, though, that when you do the low carb thing that your weight can fluctuate greatly (I know you already know this). So just keep that in mind so you dont allow yourself to get discouraged and then fall off the wagon, kwim?

That's actually why I have avoided the low carb methods, cause I just cant handle the fluctuation (my weight fluctuates enough on its own) and I have serious concerns over what happens when you totally stop the carb method. I had that issue with Atkins a few years back, and dont want a repeat.

I think as long as you know the diet you are using and how it affects your body, you are fine.

And I'd be happy to take a little of that obsession over here, please :)