Wednesday, October 08, 2008

148.8 - Off the rails

I completely lost it last night. Had a great day food wise up until after I put the kids to bed. Once I started eating, I couldn't stop.

First half a tub of cool whip free. Next, finished the cookie dough. Then chips & salsa. And finally 2 no pudge brownies, which are in no way no pudge when they finish off a binge like that.

Mentally, I've had it. And it's all work related. Even though I've tried to put it into words, there's really too much "thou shalt not blog about" stuff going on. So I'll just leave it at that.

The painful part is, we are no where near being close to the end of this. And it's scaring the pants off me.

If I can't get myself under control, those pants are going to be 5 times bigger than they are now.


MCM Mama said...

{{{HUGS}}} I'm lucky in that I (since I no longer work in that area), I can just put my head under the covers and sing La La La and not think about it. Hang in there!

Jill said...

I'm like mcm - I live blissfully ignorant when things like this happen. I'm so sorry that YOU can not simply close your eyes and make it go away.

Don't worry about the binge - you know why it happened and it's done and over with now, so just let it go. And tonight when you get home, instead of eating - go scream into a pillow or kick a tree or something that will let you release some tension (only don't break any toes if you decide to kick something cuz then you won't be able to run your half!!).


G.G. said...

I hear you on that, in stereo!

Hang in there. We've just got to keep repeating "This too shall pass" to ourselves and hang on till the scary ride ends and we can begin the clean-up. We and all the most important components of our lives will still be there when the dust settles . . . .

Take care of yourself.

Jodie said...

Hang in there. The food happened, its over. And I'm sure it was DELICIOUS!

Sorry about all the work stuff. Just keep focusing on your half!

LG said...

I understand your point of view and I can well imagine what's stressing you out.

This is part of the learning curve that we all have to figure out; how to not eat emotionally. If you figure it out, let us know. :-)

Seriously though, you have to think about what you can do and what you have control over and go from there. If you can change things, you would but you can't.

I'm stressing out and eating a bit more than I should and my eye is twitching and I have tore up my thumb.

The binge is over and done with and you eat stuff but really, it could have been so so much more worse.

(Maybe this might be a good time to take up Tae Bo or boxing away some of this?)

Much love & hugs,

debbyweighsin said...

Hi Laura, You are so very much on my mind as I listen to the news. I'm sitting here and I can't even think of what to say. I want to say 'don't be scared' but I have no right to say that as I have not been in your position. I will just keep praying for you.

But the food...can I say with tongue in cheek that you still inspire me? I want to have a night like that (tee hee!)

Vickie said...

Is there such a thing as your (just you, while he mans the ship alone) getting a job in a non-related field until this blows over???

MizFit said...

AHHH that postkidsputtingtobedtime.
I so did NOT get that until I had my own.

sending you love and thoughts of calm and most importantly the notion that TODAY IS A NEW DAY.

xo xo,


Grumpy Chair said...

Hang in there Laura!!

I have been thinking about you while I watch Mad Money and Glen Beck each evening and hopping you and the hubby aren't having to deal with too many panic filled clients.

Take care!

Carly said...

Hang in there. I can completely understand why you are stressed out. My husband is in the same line of work....'nough said.

Binges happen. Just hop right back on the wagon. I am sure you didn't do damage to your progress. Think of how far you have come.