This has been an absolutely hillacious week. One day, I feel fine and secure. The next I'm sure we are headed for disaster. Normally my roller coasters are self-induced (from hormones, food, internal drama, whatever). But I want off this freaking "bail out" ride. It's awful.
Okay, anyway. Enough of that. I'm happy to report Sophie is at school, even though she was dizzy for a bit this morning and I took her in at 9:30. She is quite congested and may have the beginning of an earache, and like I told Vickie, I think it's quite possible her dizzyness this time is related to allergies/congestion. I'm going to give her benadryl at night and change her daily claritin to zyrtec (why oh why don't they make a generic zyrtec yet? gads, it's expensive).
Since she was with me all day and didn't feel great yesterday afternoon, we didn't go to swim class and I didn't get to run. I need a run. I really, really need a run.
This afternoon my mom is getting the kids, and if all goes well I'm going to run until I can't run anymore. I got a new fuel belt a week or so ago, the kind with four 8 oz bottles, and it is a dream for long runs (I broke it in on my 8 miler last weekend). It fits snugly and comfortably and I don't even notice I'm wearing it. Unless I catch a glimpse of my reflection and then I go, oh yeah, you look like a total running geek, but whatever. It's better to feel good than to look good when you're running.
Today is a carb up day, too, and unlike my last couple of carb up days, I'm not all "YAY I GET TO EAT A BUNCH OF JUNK FOOD!" Yes, I'm going to eat heavier carbs today (regular wheat bread, a cookie or three, probably some fun food at our friends' tonight). But I have an entirely different mind set about it today.
Why? I'm not sure. Maybe because I don't feel as deprived as I did those other days. I've got a few of these carb up days under my belt, and I know that another one is always just a few days away. I don't feel like I have to eat every sweet I crave in one single day. And most definitely because I don't want to go up another 2 pounds again. I expect to gain some. But I don't want to gain unnecessarily. Glycogen stores = good. Extra food = extra fat = bad.
So I'm excited it's Friday, if for no other reason than the stock market will be closed for 2 days and hopefully the smart guys in D.C. will get something hammered out by Monday. I have my doubts about that. I think next week is going to be ugly too. Until this is done, not only are the credit markets pretty much ground to a halt, so is our business. You can't very well tell people to invest their money when you don't know where to invest it.
But I'm going to put my hands over my ears and sing "lalalalala not listening!" all weekend. And maybe I'll find some peace in the process.
HUGS & KISSES TO YOU ALL.
EDIT @ 1 P.M.--Just got pack from picking up Sophie at school. She lasted a whole 2 hours. She was fine until they went out on the playground, and the sunshine got to her--it can make her dizzyness worse. She's with my mom at home. And she's drugged up on zyrtec & benadryl. Prayers she gets all better over the weekend.