Tuesday, September 23, 2008

146.8 - A New Low

When I woke up this morning, I had a sense that I was going to be under 147 this morning. I just knew it before I stepped on the scale.

I have not been this weight since I was in my early 20s.

And it's weird. Like my body isn't my body yet. Even though it's not quite 8 pounds since starting this new diet, it's almost 8 pounds coming off in the right places. My bones & tendons are starting to show more (not in an anorexic way--believe me, I'm not that thin). My feet are pretty again. I can almost see the top notch of my collar bone on my shoulder. My breast bones are starting to peak through the v-neck of my shirts. My wrists are almost tiny.

Please don't take all this bone talk like I have an eating disorder or I want to be skin & bones. I don't. I just haven't seen the layers under the layer of fat for so many years, and it's fascinating to me. Afterall, healthy women who are athletes have muscle & bone as their primary structures peaking from under their skin.

And they are beautiful. And strong. That's what I'm striving for.

I've been seeing muscles in my shoulders & legs & back for a while. The big muscles that still have a bit of fat over them but still show through. Now I'm starting to look leaner.

The trouble spots are still around--the tummy, the thighs, the hips. I dislike the way I look when I sit down & spread out all over the place. I much prefer the standing tall, sucking it in, shoulders back posture. Lucky for me most of my sitting down takes place at my desk, where I'm by myself all day, and in the bathroom, and the only people who see me in there are my kids, and they could care less (Luke actually enjoys poking on my poochy belly, the silly boy).

The changes in my appearance are motivating. My faster running is motivating. Better fitting clothes are motivating.

The way I feel is the most motivating. I'm not a slave to night time eating right now. I'm not suffering from food guilt. I've got plenty of energy. I'm not (yet) bored with my food choices, and am enjoying what I eat every day. I don't feel deprived. On the contrary, I feel like I'm eating better than I have in a very long time.

And today, I get to have a couple of Carb Up meals, which I'm taking full advantage of to tell my body "Hey look! I'm not taking away all the starchy things you love. I'm not starving myself. You don't have to hang on to all that fat. Let it go, just let. it. go."

Today is day 20 on the new plan. I'm almost to that magic "21 days makes a habit" mark. I'm praying it's a habit that will stay around for a long time.

That's another thing that's really neat about this way of eating, too. I can see me sticking to it for the majority of my life. It's not hard, there are built in cheat days, and I'm not counting anything (except that first week, you don't count carbs, points, or calories--ever). And if I do screw up, I can get back on plan by having 4 carb down days and just get back to it.

For now, though, the plan is to stay on plan. It's a very good thing.


Running Knitter said...

Awesome job - keep it up!

Jodie said...

You put this into words perfectly! The whole time I'm reading your posts, I'm like, "I know! Amen Sister!" LOL...I love the way I feel now. And I laugh in the face of my old 100 calorie packs!

Great job on the new low! Keep a WOE'ing.

Cindy...154 said...

I like how you describe seeing your actual body, no longer hidden. I have peaks of this as well with the muscles. I have been ever since losing weight but I feel I am in the final stretch and I am getting to my true body. You are a great lead for me to follow! Plus, you tell of the yummy things I get to enjoy in the upcoming cycle 2! I don't feel much deprived, in fact I am getting used to this depletion week and it seems like I eat more often than I did before. I like that of course!

MCM Mama said...

WTG!!! You are doing great!!!

Jill said...

YOU HAVE BONES???? could it be possible that I, too have bones underneath the flab???? This post is so motivating - gives me the extra oomph to keep going.

You are only 1.2 pounds away from my goal weight!!! =)

Keep at it sistah - I'll catch up to ya soon!

Vickie said...

this IS exactly like what I did - (except like I have said they switched to 2 carb down days instead of 4 after some study came out)

the fat pockets do go down too - everything sort of redistributes itself -

and tone is an amazing, empowering thing.

Heather said...

that is so wonderful!! I know you are working hard and this is completely paying off for you. must be so exciting to be down to a weight that you have been in years and seeing changes in your body.

JODI said...

great job and congrats on being below your lowest number... i wish i remember what i weighed in HS but know it's definitely less than i am now... such is life, i'm a better and stronger person today compared to then... :o)

MizFit said...

hectic day yesterday so Im just making it here.