Wednesday, July 30, 2008

152.0 - If only...

If only I could stop eating when I should be sleeping, perhaps I'd lose the rest of this weight I want to lose.

You know how it works. You have the best intentions to stay on plan all day. You eat right for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and log your food. You make it to the gym and put in a decent workout. You drink 2 1/2 liters of water. All is right with your little dieting world.

Then at 9 p.m. after everyone is in bed and it's just me and the TV and my book (I'm such a freak--I have the TV on while I read, goes back to my days in school when I have to have music or movies on while I did homework. I think my brain is so used to multi-tasking it doesn't know how to operate otherwise), the munchies set in.

First it was a Cliff Z bar. Then it was the rest of the Chex Mix. Then it was 2 Entemann's mini muffins. And finally three graham cracker sheets (because that was all that was left in the open package; it would probably have been more if there had been more in the ziplock bag).

And that was just last night. The two nights before were just as bad.

So I know I could get below 150 if I'd stop eating like this and get the water weight off. My running the past two days is saving me (4 miles yesterday at a decent pace), I suppose, as is the "good" eating and lots of water drinking, from gaining more weight. And I think my body is accustomed to this weight.

But I feel so disgusted with myself in the mornings, cotton mouthed and bloated. Fully expecting to weigh 5 more pounds than I did the day before. Thanking the diet gods that I don't. Knowing I've dodged a bullet, but playing around like this is eventually going to end up getting me shot in the butt.

I've got to change my habits, I know. And I realize this IS a habit. I'm on autopilot most nights. Sitting down after a long ass day on my tired behind is just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately, filling my face with food isn't.

Things have got to change. Now I have to find the energy to change them.

12 comments:

Running Knitter said...

Just make some small changes - baby steps. You'll get there!

Vickie said...

It sounds as if you are keyed up and need to find a non-food ritual to wind down your day.

Thoughts (which might help or might be totally off base):

On blogger (now) - you can type your entry and then post it for the next day (you have to go in and change the date immediately - or it doesn't work if it saves for the current date first). so maybe "talking" about it would help. And I guess you don't have to post it for the next day - you can type and post right then. I like to stay ahead and often write one day and then have it scheduled to post the next.

Meditation tapes or meditation yoga DVD. I think I remember Alicia trying this.

What you perceive as a "need" - having noise and reading at the same time - sound like "hyped up" to me.

I wonder if what you are perceiving as helping/needed might actually be part of the "keeping yourself going".

I wonder if white noise would be a way to wean yourself down to quiet. A fan on high, then on medium, then low to sort of phase yourself "out".

I think that winding down is HARD for the vast majority of us. I need medication - every day - to get to sleep and to stay asleep.

Jill said...

Ya know what? You have overcome so much that this is just the next class at Maintenance University. You even said it yourself:
"My running the past two days is saving me (4 miles yesterday at a decent pace), I suppose, as is the "good" eating and lots of water drinking, from gaining more weight."

You aced Healthy Eating 101, then mastered Advanced Running, and you even got a minor in Guzzling H20. Just think of this as one more class you have to study for and when you have a handle on it, you'll graduate from Evening Noshing.

And then you'll be practically perfect!!

Vicki has some great suggestions - maybe finding a new way to wind down would be helpful. Like you said, you're on autopilot, so doing something like yoga, or just some simple stretching might be enough to make you sleepy and NOT feel the need to munch.

You will find a way to get over this hurdle, I'm sure of it. =)

G.G. said...

I am going to say something ridiculously trite--but sometimes change itself can bring you the energy to sustain itself--you're going to get control of this situation, you will!

Helen said...

I feel your pain. I really do. I'm having a hard time buckling down to lose right now and so far am maintaining my loss. But I want to lose more. I know I can and I know you can too. Not sure where to get the oomph to make it happen this week, but I'm trying. Anyway...know you're not alone...nights are hardest for me too.

debbyweighsin said...

Hey Laura, I think I am similar to you, but I kinda plan for the night time eating, but then I have to manipulate myself to keep from eating too much. So here's what I do: I think you do w.w. so you will know what I am talking about. I know I will want to snack at night so I plan for it, usually 3-4 points if I can afford it. Usually includes one point of 'healthy microwave popcorn' because it takes longer to eat, and I really do like it.

But here's where I have to manipulate myself. I put off eating it as long as I can because if there's too much time between snack and bedtime, I will want more. Kinda pitiful that I have to do that, but it works for me.

If you choose right, you can get a lot of good snacks in for 4 points! If you need ideas let me know--always more than happy to talk about food--haha!

Heather said...

I used to do the same thing. I could eat well all day but nighttime was my downfall. I just tried to pick one healthy snack a night and thats it. I dont allow myself anything more than that. its hard but once you can make it a routine, its pretty easy.

MCM Mama said...

I'm a nighttime eater too, but I've finally trained myself away from it. I have a small sweet snack before I put the kids to bed and then I brush my teeth when I brush theirs. I'd say 90% of the time I don't eat after I brush now.

Of course, who am I to give weight loss advise? I've been losing and regaining the same 5 pounds for at least the last six months, sigh.

MizFit said...

such an insightful thought though...finding the energy (and dare I say DESIRE) to change them.

it is as 'easy'(wink) as laying tiny healthy habit upon tiny new healthy habit and after a bit BIG CHANGES HAVE HAPPENED.

that said I, too, work hard not to autopilot nightsnack.

FOR ME it has really helped to plan this snacking into my 'day' as I wasnt too successful in stopping completely.

good snacks --- but snackage nonetheless.

Miz.

MizFit said...

(and vickie has some GREAT ideas as well...especially the blogging about wat youre feeling and the noise need.

*bows to vickie*)

L.G. said...

Wow, I like what everyone else has said and esp. Vickie and Jill. I do agree -- you are probably keyed up and this is part of a new lesson plan in maintenance. You can figure out a way to have your graham crackers and eat it too. :-)

Look at the bright side; what would you have eaten in the past before the running and weight loss? I bet it was 10,000 times worse in choices and quantities.

Be kind to yourself, now. Goals are nice but beating yourself up after you've accomplished (and kept off) that much weight loss isn't good. Right now, you still are beautiful, fun, healthy and wise.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Oh man, I know how you feel. I do this during the day a little bit though. Then I have to shut it off at night. Sounds like everyone has given you great advice so I don't have much to add. Hang in there. This too, you can conquer. You've done amazing and are an inspiration to me. I've been away, but when I clicked back was thinking, look at her maintaining that weight rock steady. I think you are awesome. :D