The best thing about today is.... it's no longer yesterday. I didn't get a run in last night, and can make all kinds of excuses like DH got home late and we were completely out of milk so I had to go to the grocery store instead of running, but basically I just wanted to eat my way through my stress. I did something last night I haven't done in 8 months--I bought a pint of chocolate ice cream and ate it in the bathroom.
Hello, my name is Laura and I'm a food addict.
I was just not in the mood to explain myself to my husband and didn't want my daughter eating my ice cream, so I hid my binge from my family.
I am not proud of this. It was a pretty low moment. And I'm highly aware that the behavior is destructive and unhealthy and a setback. I might as well have been shooting up. Okay, so it wasn't that bad, but it felt like it. It was a 600 calorie pint of Edy's Grand chocolate, and I ate all but about 4 spoonfuls of it. I didn't taste it much, just shoveled it in so I could get as numb as possible.
So. It's done. I'm over it. I'm taking it as a lesson that I'm not impervious to stress eating, and thanking my lucky stars that my normal life is pretty calm and I don't have to self medicate on a regular basis.
Sophie is better today, but not symptom free. Still dizzy and can't walk, but she's sitting up and coloring and with me at the office. I've called the doctor today to let him know she's on day 4, and to see if she's a candidate for any meds that might help make these episodes shorter. The antivert isn't making her symptoms go away completely, and she needs something that treats the migraine anyway, not just the dizziness. We'll see what he comes back with.
Hoping I can get a run in around 2:30 this afternoon, because DH has yoga at 4 and then has a church youth group event tonight, so I'll be with the kids by myself. Tomorrow night my mom's coming down to watch the kids at our house and we are supposed to have a date, probably dinner and a movie.
Thanks for bearing with me and for your supportive words. Sorry to be such a downer the past few days. I'm sure things will look up soon.