First, read this when you can. It speaks to me so deeply & helps me understand that what happened to me in 2009-2010 (the 30 pound weight gain) does not mean there's something wrong with me or I'm a failure or I can't get fit & healthy again. It helps to read it from someone else who's been there & writes books & "has it all together."
I wanted to write quickly about yoga. I've taken yoga off & on over the past 10 years, so I know most of the terms & positioning--enough that I'm not a total newbie anyway. But it's been quite a while and I'm packing extra pounds, so I didn't know how I'd do.
Saturday morning was super hard. This is hot yoga, which (if you're not familiar with this) means the studio is 101 degrees. You start sweating before you even move. It's a shock at first, then you get used to it--sort of. It sounds odd, but it is very cleansing for the body. And humbling. You can't wear heavy clothes in there to cover up any body fat, or you'll be way too hot. I knew in advance what to wear & what to expect from the heat.
I didn't know if I'd be able to do the whole 90 minutes or not. I sort of did. I stayed the whole time, but after about an hour we started warrior poses & I felt like I was going to throw up. I also felt light headed several times like I was going to pass out. I pushed through when I could, but when it was too much, I just sat or laid down & let it pass, then I got back at it. Another girl did the same thing, so that made me feel better.
Sunday afternoon was better. I only felt like I was going to throw up at the very end of class, & I never felt light headed during class (I think that's a morning exercise thing I have--used to happen to me when I was in my early 20s & sometimes lifted weights in the mornings). I have great balance & know how to keep my core tight to steady myself, so holding strong standing poses made me feel great. The instructor was very helpful too, on hints to improve each pose.
It was only two days of yoga, and I can't wait to go back for more. I almost started crying yesterday afternoon, when we were holding a pose a long time & it was a struggle to stay in position, but be damned if I was going to fall out of it. So I didn't. And it pushed me mentally more than anything. Tears started to well, I let them come for a brief second, then I pushed them back down. I wasn't in the mood for crying, but subconsciously I guess I needed to.
I'm hoping to run this afternoon...it's going to be 40 degrees today! A cloudy 40, but nonetheless, hopefully I'll be outside for about 45 minutes before picking up the kids.
Last week I exercised 6 days. I'm down 4 pounds since last Tuesday's rock bottom bottom. And look how much I've blogged! :D
My food was better, not perfect. I still have sugar issues--going to for a while, as I work through Karly Pitman's CD's and workbook. But I'm definitely more mindful of what I put in my shopping cart & my mouth. And I'm working on acceptance, self-care, and making time for exercise.
I have to replace the sugar endorphins with something. A good solid sweat seems to be my best option.