Monday, August 11, 2008

153.2 - Failure is not an option

Thanks for the great comments on yesterday's post, gang. I appreciate the compliments, commiseration, understanding, heart-felt revelations, and advice so much. Love love love this community.

So, anyway, after Saturday's workfest, yesterday I was cooked. I was supposed to run 3 miles, but it didn't happen. I had both kids by myself, went to lunch at a Chinese buffet 30 minutes away for my mom's husband's mom's birthday (step-grandmother-in law??)--which also 'splains the bloat this morning--visited my sister & her family & my dad in the late afternoon, and did a load of laundry while the toddler took a nap.

And here's the rub--I felt like a total failure for missing a scheduled run.

This, my friends, is whacked.

I worked out five days last week. FIVE FREAKING DAYS and I felt guilty yesterday for missing a lousy 3 mile run. All day I kept thinking, "I've got to get to the gym! When am I going to get in my run? How am I going to live with myself if I can't check off my Sunday box that says "Easy Run" on my training plan? I don't have time for my family...I need to go running!"

I thought all this stuff, but was realistic enough to realize that my family needed to come first yesterday. Yet I still felt bad for a good portion of the day about not getting to the gym.

Then I shook myself out of it (pretty much) last night with a mental slap in the head. It's the same as when I had lost almost 55 pounds and couldn't lose anymore earlier this year, and I felt like a failure every weigh in . It was just stupid, and I had to stop the madness so I declared 155 as my stopping point.

And I'm not going to let failure slip back into my thinking when I clearly am kicking ass on the exercise front (food? not so much lately). So what if I'm not perfect. So what if I missed a 3 mile run. I ran 12 miles last week and lifted weights for 2 hours. Calling myself a failure is simply not an option.

Random Mad Men Chat: Anyone out there a Mad Men fan? I was equally repulsed and turned on by last night's episode. Holy cow, did I just say that? Seriously, it was an intense show and I am sure I'm not alone in my feelings about the character Don Draper (simultaneously drooling while shocked and scandalized). I may have to go waste some brain cells and read the fan blogs on this one.


Running Knitter said...

Isn't it amazing how we get on ourselves about missing a run, even if we already had a great week in terms of workouts? It's almost like we need to force ourselves to stop and take a look at the bigger picture. But you're right and I'm going to adopt your attitude. Failure is not an option. :)

Jill said...

Girl you got it goin on! Sometimes a mental slap is just what we need!
I wish I had a tenth of your exercise mojo!! =)

Don't know anything about Mad Men...I'll have to DVR it and start watching it, or am I too late into the season to catch up?

MCM Mama said...

Dude, ease up on yourself. Sounds like you are doing great on the workouts. Missing one run (especially a short one) because of family commitments is ok. It happens to all of us sometimes.

G.G. said...

I liked the "mental slap to the head" line. I can so picture that. I'm guilty of that kind of thinking, myself. Damn perfectionism, anyway . . .

Helen said...

I feel your freakin' pain...being perfect is HARD. Holding on to the loss that we have...maybe that's the best we can do at certain points. Gaining back is NOT AN OPTION. :-)

Shauna said...

i LOVE mad men and desperately waiting for Season 2 to be screened in the UK. is it season 2 you guys have now? i totally relate to your don draper perspective, hehe.

hang in there luvvie...

MizFit said...

LOOOOOOSE the MUSTS girlfriend!

Youre doing amazingly.

be kind to yourself---and ENJOY the breaks you so deserve.


L.G. said...

Laura, I'm really sorry to tell you that you cannot be perfect all the time. :-) I'm glad you were able to sit back and say, "hey I did work out a lot" and I definitely understand what happened.

You are SO not a failure. :-)

Cindy154 said...

I am not doing the guilt thing anymore if at all possible. You are doing fabulous.. like everyone said. But thanks for being honest and writing about it. We all do it. Part of are thinking thing. You are not alone!