It's been a strange couple of days. Nothing out of the ordinary, events-wise. But it's like I've gone off kilter, food-wise.
Yesterday was cookie day. I could not get enough cookies.
Today, I ate a glazed donut at the office for breakfast, a Starbucks latte and cinnamon coffee cake for lunch, and a Happy Meal cheeseburger with fries and a Coke for dinner. And a few more cookies.
I've been struggling with weekend food for a couple of months. But it has been only weekends. This Monday melt-down is a new phenomenon. And I don't like it.
It was the old "I can't help myself" feeling, the auto pilot of self destruction taking over.
I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I'm sure it's no coincidence that it showed up on day 3 of a Rain Fest here in Evansville. And it's the holidays. And I tend to internalize other people's difficult situations and somehow manage to let their negativity or sadness or frustration eat up my positive strength. I've been around several of these people this past weekend.
So my reserves are low right now, and resistance to my inner Fat Girl has been futile.
I know it's temporary, and I don't feel hopeless or anything--I know I will get back on track. I'll have a healthy breakfast tomorrow, and get back to eating vegetables at lunch and dinner again, and will get a strong run in tomorrow afternoon. Eventually the sun will shine again (not for a while, though, since there's more rain forecast until Saturday). I may have to start sitting under my S.A.D. light for a while.
But it surprised me how easily I slipped into the helplessness of easy comfort food. If I'd been in Target today, I can't say I'd have been able to resist buying Twinkies. It was that bad.
No wonder January is a time for new beginnings. I'm guessing December's going to be a little rough.
Edited later to add: So I just started to catch up on my blog buddies, and I come across this. I am in freaking awe. The amount of time it took to put all this together and the thoughtfulness with which it was done just blows me away. Blogging friends are da bomb.