Monday, December 10, 2007

Day 291 - 153.8 Monday Melt Down

It's been a strange couple of days. Nothing out of the ordinary, events-wise. But it's like I've gone off kilter, food-wise.

Yesterday was cookie day. I could not get enough cookies.

Today, I ate a glazed donut at the office for breakfast, a Starbucks latte and cinnamon coffee cake for lunch, and a Happy Meal cheeseburger with fries and a Coke for dinner. And a few more cookies.

I've been struggling with weekend food for a couple of months. But it has been only weekends. This Monday melt-down is a new phenomenon. And I don't like it.

It was the old "I can't help myself" feeling, the auto pilot of self destruction taking over.

I haven't felt that way in a long time, and I'm sure it's no coincidence that it showed up on day 3 of a Rain Fest here in Evansville. And it's the holidays. And I tend to internalize other people's difficult situations and somehow manage to let their negativity or sadness or frustration eat up my positive strength. I've been around several of these people this past weekend.

So my reserves are low right now, and resistance to my inner Fat Girl has been futile.

I know it's temporary, and I don't feel hopeless or anything--I know I will get back on track. I'll have a healthy breakfast tomorrow, and get back to eating vegetables at lunch and dinner again, and will get a strong run in tomorrow afternoon. Eventually the sun will shine again (not for a while, though, since there's more rain forecast until Saturday). I may have to start sitting under my S.A.D. light for a while.

But it surprised me how easily I slipped into the helplessness of easy comfort food. If I'd been in Target today, I can't say I'd have been able to resist buying Twinkies. It was that bad.

No wonder January is a time for new beginnings. I'm guessing December's going to be a little rough.
Edited later to add: So I just started to catch up on my blog buddies, and I come across this. I am in freaking awe. The amount of time it took to put all this together and the thoughtfulness with which it was done just blows me away. Blogging friends are da bomb.


Vickie said...

I look at those days as a "clue" - I think it is really helpful when they come on strong - and are just one day - like you just experienced. Because then it is possible to put them under the microscope and see if there is something to be learned/gained from them. DO NOT BEAT yourself up - if there is something to be learned/seen - then grow from it and move on - tomorrow is another day.

ws said...

I hope you are feeling better today. I'll send some sunshine your way, we seem to be having plenty of it lately.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Thanks, Hon! Glad you enjoyed the report.

Hope you can get it on track today. I have days like that too.

Valerie said...

I do feel for you...once those days start, it's sooo hard to stop them. The carbs feed the cravings and the cravings are so hard to shut down when it's dark and gloomy and we have the "hibernation instinct" going on.

I hope today is going better for you. It's a new day, and you know you'll get back on track. Hang in there!

Jess said...

Those days happen to all of us, and as long as they are temporary, I don't think they're a big deal. They pass.

Debbi said...

Thanks so much for finding and posting the link to Nancy's 8onthe8th report. I'm even more sorry now that I didn't push myself a little harder.

I figured out why the e-mail bounced. I'm going over to edit my post now. I'll enter your name in the drawing ... no need to e me again.

Suffice it to say I'm a dork.

Tigerlilly said...

We are definitely on the same bus. ***UGH**** So far today has been really good. Hopefully I can keep it up for the rest of the week.

I guess no matter how 'good' your being, you will always have a 'bad' day. We just need to make sure it does not go on to be a 'bad' week!!

I'm sending you 'good' vibes and lots of (((((HUGS!!))))

Marcy said...

Hang in there chica!! I agree with Jess, no biggie :-) Just keep on truckin!

Grumpy Chair said...

Like Tigerlily says " just make sure it doesn't go on for a week".

I'm feeling a little stressed because of reactions to son's chicken pox - on Monday it had me running to pantry. It was under control on Tuesday (Thankfully).

Hang in there friend.