Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Day 286 - 152.0 Photo Session & Parenting Saga

We took the kids to have our Christmas picture made yesterday afternoon. Now, typically, I'm a big believer in the casual kids-in-front-of-the-Christmas-tree-in-their-PJ's photo for Christmas cards, but these go to our clients and we have a good friend who's a professional photographer and has done our pictures for several years, so he cuts us a deal.

I knew it was going to be a challenge because Luke is 2 and he is all boy and doesn't like to sit still. And it was tough, but we got a few good shots and with the magic of digital photography, my best face will be moved to the picture with the best faces of the rest of the family.

We also had a shot of just Mark and me, for business use. The picture turned out great. When I get the .pdf's, I'll post here.

It was the first time since our wedding that I was really happy with a studio picture of me. Mark even said I looked beautiful. Which made me tear up because I was not feeling beautiful last night....

My daughter and I have been butting heads a lot lately. It's like a teenager has invaded her 6 year old body and taken over. She complains a lot and doesn't like me asking her to do things, like getting up in the morning or going to bed. And I get impatient easily and lose my temper with her. And last night was just ugly and I made her feel bad about herself, and even though we made up, I felt like I'm damaging my kid and I'm a terrible mother.

I'm overly sensitive, she's overly sensitive; I'm strong willed, she's strong's a lethal combination. After she went to sleep, I still had to go to the grocery store at 9:30 at night. I felt like sh!t and wanted to drown myself in ice cream. Instead of Ben & Jerry's, I bought a Blue Bunny "personal indulgence" serving of chocolate chip cookie dough, which has 340 calories. Not a disaster, but still a big ole dose of my drug of choice.

I've got a book on 6 year olds, and I read a chapter on their behavior that made me feel better. Basically, she's normal, and it will get better as she gets older, and then will get worse again when she turns 11. It said parents need to not be emotional when dealing with this kind of behavior. And to get a break when you need it.

And boy do I need a break.

So Mark's taking the kids tonight and I get a night off. Not sure what I'll do, but hopefully it will include a trip to the gym since I can't run at 4 pm like I usually do (we have clients coming in for a meeting). A night all to myself is pretty rare, and I'm very much looking forward to it. Hopefully I'll find some non-emotional patient reserve deep down inside myself so my daughter will make it to age 7.


Tigerlilly said...

Oh No... You mean it gets worse?? LOL.

Breaks are always good. I get mine tomorrow night when I head out to Karaeoke with a friend of mine!

At least you didnt buy a whole gallon of ice cream! That was some smart thinking!

Go have fun...relax..or exorcise! LOL. You will be fine.. and so will your daughter.

Non-Runner Nancy said...

A bad mom would have done all those things and much worse and not have thought twice about it. You are clearly thinking it through and even reading about solutions. You are not even a normal Mom, you are way above normal on the good side! I have to have break hand offs all the time!

Have a great evening. :D

Jill said...

I have gone throught that with my son and now my daughter who is 7. Ages 7-8 were not fun for my son and I but when he turned 9 something just happened and we get along great now. My daughter is very argumentative and does not keep her mouth shut when she should, so as you can imagine, it is a struggle to keep my mouth shut too (wonder where she gets it??). Hang in there and you'll get through it! You are not a bad mom, we've all been there! :)

Grumpy Chair said...

Yikes!!! My son is 11 and I have definitely noticed in the last few months a change in is attitude . . . not for the better. I have to remind myself: A D O L E S C E N C E.

But it certainly makes you feel like a "bad mom", though we/you/me aren't.

As far as turning to your drug of choice, I hope you can see how far you have come on this journey. You chose a better alternative than a pint of Ben & Jerry's. That's what it is all about. Making better choices.

I bet the photos turn out real nice.

ws said...

I hope you have a relaxing evening.

Lori said...

I agree with Alicia, look at how far you've come. You didn't give in to your old drug of choice.

As for butting heads, I can't give you any advice. You are a good mom and good moms get mad. You weren't wearing a turban and screaming, "no wire hangers!!!" were you? See? It could be worse.

Valerie said...

I feel your older daughter hit puberty when she was 10, and ages 7 to about 13 were living hell...

The fact that you care, that you are thinking about it and reviewing what you did and could have done, tells you that you are not a Bad Mom. You are a Human Mom who loves her children and is doing the very best she can; no one can ask for more.

It is so hard...but it does get better. My daughter is 16 now and I couldn't have dreamed of a closer relationship. Getting there was hard but well worth it. It'll be all right.

And don't beat yourself up about the ice cream, I think you showed admirable restraint. It can be frustrating to "revert to form" but you didn't - you practiced moderation under stress. I think that's awesome.