Day 32

Still at it. I had my first gain on Monday, and expected it. The weekend food had to have caused me to retain water, and today (after a day and a half of a very strict diet) I'm back down the gain, plus .8 more for a total of 2.4 pounds down today. 11.6 total at LAWL.

The very strict diet is two days of "Take Off" in which I drink 32 oz of LAWL's Take Off juice (spread out over 4 servings), eat 6 oz of protein, 2 veggies, and 2 LA Lite bars.... and that's it. No fruit, no starch, no dairy, no fat, no COFFEE.

It's been somewhat of a revelation to me, this scarcity of food. I've been exhausted, mentally out of it, partly because of the missing caffeine, but also because I can tell my body needs the fuel.

In the past, food as fuel hasn't been the way I think. Food as comfort, secret lover, celebration, healer, and drug is more like it. But somehow since I've gotten off of food as a drug, and since I've had so little of it the past day and a half, now I'm able to feel my body needing the food as fuel.

I cannot wait until I can have fruit tomorrow! And milk with my latte! And a piece of toast (diet bread, of course)! And, get this, I can't wait until I can eat 4 servings of veggies! That is truly shocking--looking forward to eating vegetables.

My sincerest hope is that I will stay on track, not get discouraged by set backs, and be ever vigilent in this pursuit of weight loss. I have a long way to go still-- 50.6 pounds --and I need to keep the faith that it will happen and I can do it.

I'm 11.6 pounds closer to reaching my goal than I was a month ago. That's something, at least.