Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Sharing my story at OA & Thanksgiving Afters (158.8)

Last night at my OA meeting I told my story. 
My group's meetings have a rotating format each week. 1) first Monday of each month is a discussion of the step that corresponds to that month (so next week, it's step 12).  2) Week 2 is a discussion based on a reading of the leader's choice. 3) Week 3 is another discussion based on someone's "short" story. 4) Week 4 is a "long" story, where the leader talks for 40-45 minutes.
So I gave my long story, starting from when my parents met at ages 12 & 18 thru today.  It was a broad painting of my childhood, middle school & high school years, and then my adulthood.  I made notes before I went so I could get my bearings on the dates and details, but I just talked and didn't read a script.  I'm a good speaker in front of a group. 

Plus, I feel completely comfortable sharing the details of my life with this group of friends & kindred spirits.

I choked up & cried a few times, because my story is often emotional and difficult to talk about--just like most people's stories.

It was nice afterwards to have several people tell me they could identify with a lot of what I said.

When I got home, I did feel some "after" feelings of anxiety, mostly because it was such an outpouring of difficult information, and just being in the spotlight for an hour.

I didn't eat over it.  I could have & felt the stirrings of "I need to stop these feelings so I should have a little something to soothe myself."  But I prayed and asked God to keep me abstinent.  I tucked the kids in to bed and went to bed myself. I read a chapter in my OA book & started reading another book on my Kindle, then fell asleep.

The "afters" of Thanksgiving did not drive me to food.  I think running on Thursday and Friday mornings helped, then I did my long run Sunday (6.5 miles).  Running helps me get through those "after" feelings A LOT.

I didn't want to run Sunday--I didn't feel good that morning & we skipped church (the kids were fried & Mark's brother was still with us, and the guys stayed up late every night).  But I ran anyway, because it was easier just to DO IT than to ruminate all day on not doing it.  And I'm so glad I did. It was a tough 6.5 miles, but I felt great afterwards. 

It wasn't an easy weekend, though.  Too much of no routine.  Too much being in the house.  Luke especially had a hard time without the structure.  Sophie had a dizzy spell Friday afternoon when the family went on a hike in a local park.  Luke & I didn't go, so Mark had to deal with her on the trail.  She was able to walk but it was hard for her to keep going and Mark had to hold her up.  He was pretty upset by it--worrying what he would do if she couldn't keep moving.  She's too big to carry (5'0 & 95 pounds).
We've found another trigger for her migraines.  When the weather changes, she cannot go outside & exert herself.  Same thing happened on Halloween night.  It had also happened a couple years ago when she went riding on a four wheeler with my step dad out in the woods, but I hadn't made the connection until the two episodes within a few weeks. 
Thankfully the maxalt she took when she got home got rid of the dizzies, and she was fine that night and the next day.

It's good to be back to the normal routine.

I have to plan out Christmas break, because even though it's shorter than normal--they are only off school from 12/24 - 1/2--I need to have them busy and structured or they will have a miserable break.  I can't just leave them with my mom, because too much of grandma's house is not good either.  I'm not sure yet what we are going to do.  I'm going to have to work part of the time, too. What do your family's do when you have a lot of time off but can't go anywhere out of town? 

I had a conversation about running with niece Kate's husband on Thanksgiving.  He's got hip and knee issues and had to stop running a while ago, and now is having trouble biking.  It reminded me how stinking blessed I am that my body is still cooperating with me. 

I ordered new running shoes after my long run Sunday, because I could tell my shoes are wearing out. My feet hurt around mile 4, more than they should have been.  It's worth every penny to keep my feet and legs supported so I can keep everything working the way it's supposed to. 

I'm not overdoing it running--just 3 runs a week.  I stretch for 5-10 minutes afterwards--stretching is one of my favorite things to do.  I still haven't worked in cross training, and doubt that I will have time or make time for anything else until the holiday is over.  I'm thankful I've got a race to train for so at least I'm moving on a regular basis.


Laura N said...

Vickie, I know you wrote a post recently about it being easier to just DO than ruminate on what needs to be done. Didn't take the time to find the link, but wanted to acknowledge that I thought of your post on Sunday when I was deciding whether or not to run.

On running shoes--I have no idea what other runners do, if they replace their shoes often enough or not. The rule of thumb is something like 300 miles per pair. I've found that I only get about half that. I can train for one race and then they are pretty much done. I think my shorter mileage is because I'm heavier. The heavier you are, the faster you wear out the shoes.

It makes me wonder if people have more knee/hip problems than they should b/c they don't replace their shoes often enough? I have always been careful about not running on worn out shoes. That may be a reason I'm not yet having any problems.

Vickie said...

"But I ran anyway, because it was easier just to DO IT than to ruminate all day on not doing it. And I'm so glad I did. It was a tough 6.5 miles, but I felt great afterwards."

Before I saw your note in comments (above) I already had it copied to reference and say ME TOO.

It is so much easier to JUST DO IT than let the feelings of not doing it impact the rest of my day.

I would say that about food choices also.

I have another post popping up on Thursday - they are telling me that my migraines and balance/dizzies are very intertwined. The barometer impacts me hugely also (not only something athletic, but just being out in it) also. Hormones and barometer are a terrible combination if they hit on the same day.

I am still in my shoes for all my circuit/free weight work. And I intend to stay in them. Protection for my foot and helps balance hugely. I am bare foot for pilates and yoga (but still careful not to go up on toes or back on toes in runners lunge or planks, I either just use my right leg to hold me or drop to knees).

You are doing very well. Good planning, good self care, good mindfulness.

If you have to work and the kids are off, my suggestion is to hire a very good role model, fun college girl to take them to holiday things in town, play games with them, take them to movies, etc. If you space your time off, your husband's time off, and a college girl, I would think you would be able to be sure they got out to do something every day.

Vickie said...

I have kids here on a very regular basis. Sometimes they come for a day and a night, sometimes they are here for nearly a three day weekend (come home with youngest after school on Friday and are returned to their home after youth group, later Sunday night). So that is an option too if you have families that have more open schedules and it is easy for them (one or two more kids never phases me). BUT I would caution you not to line up a whole series of trading kid days because that would be too much for one break (in my opinion) if those are your only days off work (because you will want to do family things those days).

Vickie said...

Can you and your husband split each day? one works morning and the other works afternoon? some of the days?