I hate it when we fall back. I go to work, spend all day inside, and when I get home it's already dark. (I use my SAD light every weekday morning so I can get out of bed in the morning, but it isn't a cure all.)
Yesterday was cloudy & misty & I was in a mood. Mark's back is terribly painful, and he's struggling through some difficult stuff. That bleeds over onto me. It's hard to find joy when your spouse is in such pain, physically & emotionally.
I didn't get to run Tuesday because of Luke's birthday. So I had to run yesterday, whether I wanted to or not. I changed into my running clothes before I left work--this is KEY to running if I pick up kids from school before a run. I got them at 4:30, got home by 4:50, talked to Mark a bit, then sat on the floor to get the rest of my running gear out of my gym bag, and almost cried. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hibernate until spring.
But I was already in my running clothes and I had a training plan to follow. So I put on the rest of my stuff, including a reflective night vest, and hit the road at 5:15.
I didn't walk to warm up. Just started running at an easy pace. I have been on a Mumford & Sons kick for the past week. I love their music and lyrics. Listening to them while I run is pretty close to perfect.
My heart & lungs are so much stronger than they were a month ago. I ran almost the entire 3 miles, only walking to take off my extra layer and adjust my vest and for a few brief walk breaks. My pace averaged 12:12, which isn't fast but it's close to my best this year. The more important part is that running is easier. It's not a struggle to run for a full mile. I just run and run and run, and it feels great.
I finished my last mile faster than the first two. When I hit our cul de sac, a triumphant song was playing and I punched the air with my fist and tears ran down my face.
Running can be very emotional for me.
I'm thankful I made myself move. I was still very tired after my run, but at least I accomplished something important to me.