Thursday, November 08, 2012

Running in the dark (160.8)

I hate it when we fall back.  I go to work, spend all day inside, and when I get home it's already dark.  (I use my SAD light every weekday morning so I can get out of bed in the morning, but it isn't a cure all.)

Yesterday was cloudy & misty & I was in a mood.  Mark's back is terribly painful, and he's struggling through some difficult stuff.  That bleeds over onto me.  It's hard to find joy when your spouse is in such pain, physically & emotionally.

I didn't get to run Tuesday because of Luke's birthday.  So I had to run yesterday, whether I wanted to or not.  I changed into my running clothes before I left work--this is KEY to running if I pick up kids from school before a run.  I got them at 4:30, got home by 4:50, talked to Mark a bit, then sat on the floor to get the rest of my running gear out of my gym bag, and almost cried.  All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hibernate until spring.

But I was already in my running clothes and I had a training plan to follow. So I put on the rest of my stuff, including a reflective night vest, and hit the road at 5:15.

I didn't walk to warm up.  Just started running at an easy pace.  I have been on a Mumford & Sons kick for the past week.  I love their music and lyrics.  Listening to them while I run is pretty close to perfect.

My heart & lungs are so much stronger than they were a month ago.  I ran almost the entire 3 miles, only walking to take off my extra layer and adjust my vest and for a few brief walk breaks.  My pace averaged 12:12, which isn't fast but it's close to my best this year.  The more important part is that running is easier.  It's not a struggle to run for a full mile.  I just run and run and run, and it feels great. 

I finished my last mile faster than the first two.  When I hit our cul de sac, a triumphant song was playing and I punched the air with my fist and tears ran down my face. 

Running can be very emotional for me.

I'm thankful I made myself move.  I was still very tired after my run, but at least I accomplished something important to me.


Jill said...

I love it when that happens - you work out so hard that all the sweat and emotions get all tangled up and come out as tears. It feels so cleansing and VICTORIOUS!! Good job Laura - I know you are struggling, but you are hanging tough! You are so much stronger than you realize. xoxo

Vickie said...

Cleaning up my recipe posts. That lemon bar one was from many years ago and was saved. I hit the wrong button and it posted. I make the full fat/sugar ones for my niece's box each month as she is very underweight. We send the whole batch to her minus a couple for my own girls. And my own girls buy one each of things at my food coop. Middle likes their scones. Youngest a muffin. We don't make any batches to stay home. Buying one serving on occasion for girls works much better.