So last Thursday I had to get new tires for my car. Apparently running on next to zero tread on your tires is a dangerous thing. Thankfully I have a husband who notices these things, because I was clueless.
Anyway, I'm sitting at the Saturn dealership at 4 p.m., just in time for Oprah. I never get to watch Oprah. I was excited I was the only one waiting so I could control the T.V. remote.
Lucky for me Oprah didn't have any sob stories on last Thursday. She had Kirstie Alley on, talking about weight loss & weight gain. Stuff I actually wanted to watch.
And watch I did. I couldn't tear myself away, it was so much like watching a train wreck. Which is pretty much what Ms. Alley is.
If you saw it, you know what I'm talking about. If you didn't, well, you won't be surprised to learn that upon quitting Jennie Craig & putting her gym equipment in her garage & not exercising or weighing herself for 18 months, she gained all her weight back, and then some.
I won't go off on how obvious it is that when you stop doing what you did to lose weight you are going to gain it all back. Instead I'll share the lesson I learned from this show, even though it's probably not the lesson Oprah intended.
Oprah put up Valerie Bertenelli's recent magazine cover in a bikini, on a big screen behind the yellow couch. Ms. Alley basically said she won't feel good about herself until she looks like the newest Jenny Craig spokesperson. & she expects to get into that kind of shape in 6 months. & she won't be happy until she can wear a bikini on a magazine cover, too. She bemoaned her hips & thighs, said if only she could have pictures taken from her shoulders up & her knees down. Even when she was skinny as the JC spokesperson, she still hated her hips & thighs. She was never good enough.
And it hit me like the weight of those 4 new tires--I am exactly the same way. I still whine about my hips & thighs. I still think I'm not good enough, not in bikini shape, not as thin as the next girl, not in the right clothing size. I still have hopes that I'll look better 6 weeks or 6 months from now. I always want more, am not satisfied with what I am now.
Until I saw how sad it looks on a woman. I felt so sorry for Ms. Alley. Couldn't she see how gorgeous she looked? Couldn't she see how strong she was? Couldn't she see that what she was doing is what she needed to keep doing & she would be just fine? She didn't have to be perfect. She just had to stick with it and find happiness with where she was. Kirstie Alley will never look like Valerie Bertenelli. & she should be freaking fine with that.
So, I resolved on that half marathon weekend that I would no longer be like Kirstie Alley. I will no longer complain about my weight, my body, my looks. I am happy with where I am. My hips & my thighs are strong & carried me 13.1 miles across that finish line. My size 8 jeans look great on me. My 34D's are sexy. My tummy pooch declares that YES, I'm a mommy.
Thank you, Kirstie Alley, for opening my eyes. I will still run, I will still eat right, I will still seek out a healthy lifestyle. But I will no longer be the woman other women look at & roll their eyes with "why can't she see herself for who she really is?"
I can see clearly now. And I'm content with what I see.