Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Content, but not giving up

Even though I declared last Friday that I'm done obsessing about my fat pockets & have decided to be happy with my body as it is, it doesn't mean I'm done trying to make it look it's best. Does that make any sense at all?

I know my body looks better in my clothes when I weigh about 5-8 pounds less than I do now. And I know my body runs better when I weight about 5-8 pounds less than I do now.

My body still has all the same "flaws" of saddle bags, belly pooch, & thunder thighs with less weight on it, and if I looked at myself naked at 155 pounds vs 145 pounds, I'd probably have a tough time telling which was which weight. It gets smaller, but the shape doesn't change.

I see my next step on this health journey as focusing on getting stronger, faster, & fitter. & fitting into the clothes I own now for the rest of my life. I don't need to wear size 6 pants. I don't need to wear size small workout shorts. I just need to feel comfy in what I have now.

And I do, but there's not much room to spare.

So the work is far from finished. I've got a marathon to run in less than 12 months. I've got a bathing suit to wear for 12 hours a day for a week, starting on June 13. And I'm content with the body God gave me, but not ready to call 155 my end all, be all weight.

I haven't weighed since last week. I'm trying to use how my clothes fit and how I feel when I run as a guide to how I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to weigh myself, just being less obsessive about it...although, now that I think about it, I wouldn't have to weigh myself, would I? Hmm, going to have to noodle on this one. It might be an interesting experiment--although I'm not sure I'm quite ready to go there...yet.

Today, my skirt is a little snug. So I need to reign in my evening food consumption, which has gotten ridiculous the past few nights (thank you, PMS). & I'm kicking my running back into high gear too. Today I'm planning a 6 mile run. My goal is to run 20 mile weeks consistently for the next 6 months so I'll be better prepared for marathon training. I'm hoping the extra cardio will help my clothes fit better, too.

I like having non-scale goals for a change. It feels damn good.

6 comments:

Vickie said...

this is just my opinion -

but I personally think that one either

1. gets on the scale on a regular basis

or

2. has food and exercise that are (totally) dependable

I don't think there is any other way of staying/maintaining -

Clothes just aren't enough of an indicator (unless one doesn't mind as much as a 10+ lb swing in their weight).

Clothes are just made too comfortable these days - even with waist bands and zippers and no elastic.

And I also don't think there is a way of taking measurements that exactly (unless someone had a tattoo all the way around to use as a guide for the tape measure - can't you just visualize that 'lovely' thought. . .)

I personally chose the second option - food and exercise very stable - because I have a tough time with the scale on a regular basis. But I do think it has to be one or the other. If you ever read about a third option (that is tried and true) please let me know.

Helen said...

After being SO overweight for SO long, it amazes me how a "mere" 10 pounds can make so much of a difference so I am so feeling you now. I really must lose 10 pounds before St. John. But I'm having a very hard time with discipline. :-(

debby said...

I am completely where you are, Laura! Trying to learn to be content with my body, but not giving up on working to make it the best it can be.

For me, at this weight, 10 pounds makes a tremendous amount of difference in how I look in my clothes. There are clothes I just won't wear because of the way I look in them, and some jeans that 'fit' but are too uncomfortable to wear all day long. For you, I think a break from the scale is a healthy choice. I'm trying to go by the experts guidelines that if you are trying to lose weight, weighing once a week is more successful. But I can't usually go a whole week without peeking at the scale.

You so inspire me with your running/marathon talk. Maybe I will take that long walk/run I was thinking about today!

Jill said...

Dang it! I just wrote a long and winded comment and it got poofed!

Anyway, what I was saying was that I like the phrase "stronger,faster,& fitter". It sounds like a mantra or a personal vision or something like that.

Also, I think if you just focus in on the running and get back full on into that, that's all you need to worry about right now. Just take it one step at a time.

And PMS = the detour for all good weight/food related intentions!

MCM Mama said...

I like the idea of working on getting stronger and fitter.

Personally, I have to weigh myself at least every few days. Otherwise, my weight seems to slowly slide up and I don't catch it. If I way myself somewhat regularly, I manage to catch it before it really affects how my clothes fit. I'm like you though, I just want to be able to reach into my closet and have whatever I pull out fit.

Good luck staying centered!

Cindy...154 said...

Ten pounds makes a difference for me the lower my weight is, so the ten I gained in the winter bugs me more now that it is summer and most of my summer clothes were bought when I was five to ten pounds smaller. But I am with you I want to focus on exercising and keep my food straight. I do use the scale though to measure because I need to know where I am in reality. But I don't put as much "weight" on the number as I do what my body feels like, looks like and how the clothes fit. Hope I am making sense.