My dad kicked his emotionally abusive wife out last Wednesday. You might remember the drama around his illness (he has ALS) and his wife trying to drive my sister & me away from him. He'd finally had it last Wednesday after yet another confrontation and told her to leave. He not only told her to leave, he called my sister and asked her to come over to protect him. Then he asked my sister to call my mom & her husband and have them come over so they could protect him. This is unprecedented. My dad wants my mom around, my mom and her 6'6'' husband who has a concealed weapons license. Dad's afraid. He hasn't been alone for one minute since she left. And she's left peacefully, for now.
I've been spending a lot of time with him since then, which has been a huge blessing.
The good news is that a tremendous peace has settled on our family now that she's gone.
The bad news is now I can't just put his illness and my feelings in my nice little box and file it away and ignore it. I have to deal with all the emotions. And it's hard. Really really hard.
I'm not losing any weight, because I have zero energy for it. I'm scared. I realized yesterday I could easily have 40 pounds to lose instead of 10 if I don't get a handle on myself soon. I have got to make exercise a priority. It's the only thing that is going to save me, because I don't have the energy to do the food right now. Exercise makes a difference on every level. I feel better, I look better, it helps keeps the comfort food eating in check.
But I have had no time to do anything since Wednesday, before I got the call from my sister Wednesday night.
I'm not spending all my nights with my dad. There are miracles at work and we have other family members (on my dad's side) who are living with him & taking care of his daily needs. But I'll be spending significant time with him every weekend, which I'm happy about. He may not have many weekends left. And I'm now co-Power of Attorney (with my sister) and I have responsibility for getting his finances figured out.
I'm not sleeping well, so I started taking xanax again to sleep. That makes it hard to wake up in the morning. It's all quite a mess, actually.
Anyway, I'm going to try to leave today at 4 p.m. and either take a body pump class or go running in this gorgeous weather.
I don't have all the answers. I know things could be worse. I know they could be much much better. I'm going to do the best I can. Please pray that I don't end up back at 200 pounds before this is all over with.
Vickie, you'd asked a while back when I go to sleep at night. That is a great question and you have zero'd in on a big problem I have. I'm a night owl by nature, & my brain gears up around 9 p.m. and I usually watch TV and do laundry or just vegetate on the couch or read. I go to sleep around 11 p.m. most nights, sometimes later (last night it was almost midnight). Not a good plan for breakfast, eh? It doesn't help that my husband stays up even later than I do. I need an overhaul!