I didn't eat last night

I also didn't run, but that's another story.

I've been back to the night eating habit for a few weeks, since I fell off the wagon. I know this habit is a result of my brain & body wanting more happy brain chemicals. And to a very large extent, I can't control it. Any of you who have gone through the "I just can't stop myself" knows what I'm talking about.

What I can control much better is what I eat during the day time hours. And so, for a little over a week I've been following the Potatoes Not Prozac first step of eating breakfast. I've not been perfect. One morning I didn't eat protein. Another morning it was 90 minutes after I woke up before I ate breakfast (I did have my coffee with 15 minutes, though...go figure).

It's not as easy as it looks, this eating breakfast as prescribed in the book. But I think it may have made a difference last night. I don't have any other explanation for my ability to FIGHT the cravings at bedtime yesterday. The cravings were still there, but they weren't impossible to overcome.

I overcame them. I ate nothing after 9 p.m. This is a huge deal.

It's also a very small step in the very large recovery that I need to go through. But at least it's a step forward.

The running? Not so good on that front. My last post was the last time I ran. The weekend was filled with kids and family & no time for me to spend on me. Monday I was going to go on a long run, and Mark came down with the flu. I couldn't leave the kids with him. Yesterday he was sick so I worked late at the office. I still can't do early morning workouts and I can't make myself go out or put in a DVD at 9 p.m. at night after the kids are in bed. Once I'm in my comfy clothes when I get home from work, I'm done.

Frankly, I'm so mentally tired that I can't summon the seemingly extraordinary measures it would take to move my body beyond the bare minimum requirements.

My half marathon in October is in jeopardy. If I can't get in at least a few runs a week over the next month, I'll scrap it completely. If I can, then I'll likely do the race but will have no time goals and will likely have to walk a good part of it. I really don't want to be a DNS (did not start). I've never bailed on a race. This might be my first.

My life is mentally exhausting right now. I've got no extra energy reserves for weight loss or fitness.

It's been 2 years this month since I hit 155 pounds. I weighed 157.4 this morning, so I'm still maintaining but I'm on dangerous ground.

I will be okay. I'm not eating powdered sugar donuts or Ben & Jerry's. I'm working a plan, even though it's a very simple, slow plan.

Simple & slow may be the only thing I can do right now.

It's better than nothing.