Thank you all for your encouragement. I should know by now I can spill my ugly guts & you all will still be nothing but supportive.
Clearly I have not reacquired my 200 pound body. I have not had to buy new clothes (but it's getting close). My body is closer to the weight I've been the majority of my life. The 145-151 pound range is the anomaly here. Not 158.
And at 158 I've got the body of someone you see as the "before" shot on the P90X commercials. Not horrible, I grant you. But obviously there's room for lots of improvement. If you believe in the BMI, I'm "overweight" at anything above 149.
And I feel overweight right now. I AM overweight right now. I'm eating like I'm overweight. I'm not exercising enough. It's the same old slippery slope all over again.
The crap of it is, I've got no energy to deal with it right now. Jill's right. I've got to just hang on to what I can, maintain, not go nutso with the food (I have not succumbed to powdered sugar donuts or DQ blizzards, so there's still hope), and run when I can.
I did run yesterday. It was kind of neat actually. I just couldn't start out running. I was so tired, feeling so out of shape. So I walked a quick mile--about 14:30 min/mile according to Garmin. Then I felt like I could run. Well, jog actually. Mile 2 was around 12 mins. Then I walked the 3rd mile again. Then I ran the 4th mile.
Funny thing about that 4th mile. I did it in 10:30.
Huh. Slow down to go faster. There's a novel idea.
If I didn't have to pick up the kids from day care, I could have kept going another 4 miles, easy. I barely felt winded, tired, bored, or otherwise. I felt energized. I haven't felt like that in a long time.
During the 1st mile it hit me like a Mack truck that I could do this half marathon in October if I walked a good portion of it. I could alternate miles or half miles, whatever I felt like. I know I can run 6.5 miles. I know I can walk 6.5 miles. I can put them together and do the half. It won't be fast, but at least it won't be a total loss. I do have to get some miles on the bod between now and October 11, but I've got enough time that I won't hurt myself if I just slow it down.
Obviously I reserve the right to change my mind at any time & bow the hell out of this thing, but for now it's back on and the t-shirt I pick up on October 9th will at least mean something to me if I show up on October 11. What? You don't think I'd pay $55 and not get the free stuff, do you? I'm getting the free stuff no matter what.
In other news.... Sophie woke up this morning with a dizzy spell, but I gave her an ativan & ibuprofen and within 90 minutes it was gone. GONE! I think we have found the magic medicine combination for this girl. I took her to school only an hour & a half late. Mark is starting to feel better, after 12 days of having the flu. He's no where near 100%, but at least he's not struggling to talk and breathe at the same time.
My dad's ALS is getting much worse, very quickly. I haven't seen him for quite a while, but we email each other, which is better anyway because his speech is nearly unintelligible. We were all supposed to see him the Sunday before his birthday, which was the day before Labor Day. He had to cancel because he'd had other family (his wife's) up that weekend and was exhausted by Sunday night. It was an intervention from God, because Mark woke up that Monday with the flu. My dad would not survive a respiratory infection.
The kids start swim lessons tomorrow again. Sophie is at the top level - Shark - & Luke will take his first swim lesson ever. He really got used to the water this summer, in his floaty vest of course. I'm so excited to see them both in the pool at the same time.
It's coming on fall. I love the cooler temps and gorgeous leaves, but hate the lack of sunlight. I am going to start using my SAD lamp soon, or else I'm going to be in trouble.