Thursday, March 22, 2012

Day 6

Lots more energy. Physical cravings are gone. Emotional and habitual
cravings are still very much an issue.

But I can identify them when they happen and name them for what they are.

After lunch and dinner I still crave a sweet. I have been eating
strawberries or an apple and drinking hot tea.

Chocolate is ever present in my mind. I was eating a lot of it before
I started this. So it's not surprising. The chocolate thoughts come
when I used to eat it-- mid afternoon, after work, before bed.
Habitual thinking I have to reprogram.

I also have snacks the kids like but I don't. I threw out the Hersey
bars. Chips ahoy are gone too.

My before bed routine has to change. I can't put the kids to bed then
sit on the couch. That is a minefield of bad habits. So tonight I sat
in my front room while listening to music and painting my nails. So no
food issues to get sucked into.

It's hard. Breaking bad habits is a bitch.

My mantra is "sugar makes me crazy. I can't be crazy." And also, "I
just have to get through today. I can get through today (or the next
hour or the next 20 minutes)."

8 comments:

Laura N said...

Getting through today is all about quieting my fear of being sugar free for life. Never having cake or cookies or ice cream or the ears off a chocolate bunny. Hard to take that it's a lifetime of "deprivation."

Karly's book said she told herself when these thoughts came to look at all the foods she CAN eat. And how abundant they are. And she allowed herself to mourn the loss of her friend sugar.

Right now a lifetime without sugar seems impossible. So I'm focusing on today without sugar.

I dreamed last night I ate a chocolate chip cookie--a big one like you'd find in a bakery-- and then I remembered I wasn't eating sugar anymore. I don't remember anything else from the dream. It's funny how my brain is processing all this. Even in my subconscious.

Vickie said...

I forgot about the food dreams,
mine were the same:
I would forget and eat something and then feel (true/utter) remorse in my dream.

Those feelings were as true as if I had goofed in real life. Those dreams lasted for a while. and then after they were mostly gone, one would happen out of left field and truly shake me. as I said, I would feel as if it really had happened. negative feeling would linger. I had forgotten that part of the process.

What I acquired (size, feeling good, secondary conditions gone, etc) became more beneficial than what I had to give up to me at some point in the process. Like there was more on the PRO side than there was the CON side and I wanted to be in the PRO.

And at some point I started to see things as FOOD and NONFOOD and I eat FOOD and that helped (me).

very good that you are writing. sounds as if Karly's book is helping too.

VERY clever to remove yourself from couch and paint finger nails.

are you scheduled with therapist?

Jill said...

You're doing great Laura!! So proud of you for standing right in the middle of the pain and not letting it take you down. You are awesome.

Vickie said...

thought about you all weekend.

April is almost here, and then the middle of april will be here shortly thereafter.

and today is already here.

Laura N said...

Thanks Vickie! I've been thinking about you as I read Karly's book. You could have written it. So much of what she writes I've read on your blog.

I had a set back last night. Sophie had 3 girls over yesterday. We made chocolate covered strawberries (white for Sophie) and I didn't eat any. No temptation to eat them. Esp after Sophie said she is glad I'm giving up sugar. Because she knows when I've had too much and I get grouchy and moody.

Then we had our favorite carry out pizza for dinner. I had 3 squares. That's all it took of white flour to kick in the sugar issues-- I was sleepy grouchy and craving more. I tried to eat non sugar foods but I overrate them. Then I was in a what the hell frame of mind-- I blew it, might as well have cookies since I'll never have them again. This is very dangerous ground.

I am back on track today. I have been reading Karly's book and it helps a lot. I am going shopping and prepping for next week. Kids are on spring break and mom is keeping them (at our house). Adds a whole other layer of "not normal". So I need to be prepared.

Yes the time is flying by. April 18 will be here soon!

I am making therapy appt tomorrow. I saw my primary care doctor last week for some physical issues I've been having. I try to have no more than one appt per week. Jus can't be gone much more than that from work.

Will write more next week.

Laura N said...

Thanks Jill! I love your encouraging words. I'm so glad I learned about Karly from you. After I finish this book I am going to check out her other resources. I sure need them.

R said...

Good luck! I have been reading a book called "The Willpower Instinct." Not really focused on weight loss, but the principles seem applicable. Sugar is very tough, and I agree that it is best just to cut it out completely to minimize all the choices around it.

R said...

Good luck! I have been reading a book called "The Willpower Instinct." Not really focused on weight loss, but the principles seem applicable. Sugar is very tough, and I agree that it is best just to cut it out completely to minimize all the choices around it.