I read Jen's post on shame a few days ago. It helped explain a lot about what's going on with me. It explains why I reacted so harshly to the guy who asked me if I knew where the sidewalk was, and why I got so upset by the instructor who asked if it was my first step class.
Shame is a topic I've not spent much time on, but I'm rife with it. It's poisoned me for decades. It's time I start cleansing myself of it.
Therapy will help with that process, of course. And Jen's post was a good supplement. I'm going to see if I can get the book she references on CD or audio file. I'd like to learn more.
I've had a couple of up and down days. My emotions are still going like a roller coaster. I started my period, so the hormonal PMS has lessened, but I'm still up one half of the day, down the next.
I haven't had acupuncture in almost a month. Friday I get to go back, and I wonder how much that has been helping me feel stable? Since it's been gone I have felt worse, so I think it may have been making a big difference.
I also started taking more of my Omega-3s. Studies have shown that Omega-3s can help ease depression. But you have to take enough of it to make an impact. So now I'm taking 6 capsules a day; I get them from Vitacost.com, and I know they are safe (sorry to any walmart lovers, but I won't take any supplements from there--I don't trust walmart with diddly squat, esp anything I put in my body). It can take months for it to help, but so what--I will still be here in months. Might as well get started now.
Tomorrow morning is my second morning run with my friend Dedra. I have to find a way to not let her sweep me away in gossip or in talking my ear off after we've finished (I stood there for 25 minutes after our run and listened... I don't have that kind of time to chat about other people's business). I'm not good at setting boundaries, especially with friends. Guess it's time to learn.