Thursday, June 16, 2011

Shame (180.4)

I read Jen's post on shame a few days ago.  It helped explain a lot about what's going on with me.  It explains why I reacted so harshly to the guy who asked me if I knew where the sidewalk was, and why I got so upset by the instructor who asked if it was my first step class.

Shame is a topic I've not spent much time on, but I'm rife with it.  It's poisoned me for decades.  It's time I start cleansing myself of it. 

Therapy will help with that process, of course. And Jen's post was a good supplement.  I'm going to see if I can get the book she references on CD or audio file.  I'd like to learn more.

I've had a couple of up and down days.  My emotions are still going like a roller coaster.  I started my period, so the hormonal PMS has lessened, but I'm still up one half of the day, down the next.

I haven't had acupuncture in almost a month.  Friday I get to go back, and I wonder how much that has been helping me feel stable?  Since it's been gone I have felt worse, so I think it may have been making a big difference.

I also started taking more of my Omega-3s.  Studies have shown that Omega-3s can help ease depression.  But you have to take enough of it to make an impact.  So now I'm taking 6 capsules a day; I get them from Vitacost.com, and I know they are safe (sorry to any walmart lovers, but I won't take any supplements from there--I don't trust walmart with diddly squat, esp anything I put in my body).  It can take months for it to help, but so what--I will still be here in months.  Might as well get started now.

Tomorrow morning is my second morning run with my friend Dedra.  I have to find a way to not let her sweep me away in gossip or in talking my ear off after we've finished (I stood there for 25 minutes after our run and listened... I don't have that kind of time to chat about other people's business).  I'm not good at setting boundaries, especially with friends.  Guess it's time to learn.

7 comments:

Laura N said...

and I cannot comment on people's blogs who ask me to "choose a profile." Can't comment on Jen's blog except from my iPod touch (don't know why that works and my laptop doesn't). And another friend has the same set up, and I can't comment on her's either. They are blogger.com blogs. Anyone else notice this? Or is it my internet settings? I don't have problems when the blog recognizes my identify when I'm already signed into blogger. It's the one's with a drop down box that have multiple options that aren't working.

debby said...

I'm not sure this will help, but I went into the 'security' setting and deleted all the cookies or something like that (someone else was directing me.) This was not a blog related problem, but I have an idea it might be related.

Vickie said...

Blogger did mention (for thse still having trouble) when you log in you CANNOT check the box to stay checked in. Must leave that box blank. So you might try logging out and then relogging with blank box.

Vickie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vickie said...

delete was me

Vickie said...

will tonight be your first time with your mom and the vanished scale?

Jill said...

Happy Acupuncture Day!!! I hope it helps you as much as it did last time. Are you seeing Julie again today?

I have a couple of friends who rattle on and on like Dedra. I usually just have to interrupt them and say "I would love to talk some more but I have to go RIGHT NOW". And then I get the heck out of there as fast as I can! :)