Monday, December 08, 2008

153.8 - Broken Record

Vickie, you know me so well. Yes, indeed, I pretty much spent the weekend (at least figuratively) with my head under the covers.

Saturday morning we had our family picture taken for our Christmas card. So that required some energy and focus, as both kids needed baths and prettying up (as did I, of course). Here's the result:

Overall, it turned out pretty well. Usually the photographer has to work some magic and switch out at least one of our faces with another picture (we use the same photographer every year, he's a friend of ours). But we all smiled pretty in this shot and we'll send it as is.

After the picture, we went to see Santa at the mall. That was fun! The kids were on their best behavior and our Santa is great--real whiskers, no beard. Then we went to Red Lobster and had a feast. We used to eat there a lot when Mark's mom was alive, but haven't been there in almost 3 years now. They advertised a new wood fired lobster tail, and that sucked Mark right in. We had a nice time together.

Then the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday, I spent my time in my PJ's. We all needed a rest Sunday morning so we skipped church. I took a bath around 1 p.m., and put on clean pajamas instead of clothes since we weren't going anywhere. And I laid around & read & watched Christmas TV with the kids.

And ate. And ate. And ate.

The scale doesn't tell the true picture anymore. 6 months ago I'd have been OK with this weight. But then I went and lost some weight in October and found out how great I feel around 146, and of course bought a few fall clothes and new bras at that weight. So everything feels tight & my muffin top is pronounced and overall I just feel yucky.

Yada yada yada. I'm getting tired of hearing myself whine about this.

So you know the drill--it's Monday, a new start, new dedication, new food & exercise choices. But I'm just not feeling it. I don't want this extra fat on my body, but I don't have it in me to do a whole lot about it.

I did call my doctor this morning and they are going to increase my meds. I'll start that new dose tomorrow. I hope it kicks in soon.

And I plan to run this afternoon (haven't since last Monday...I've got some miles to make up to hit my 500 mile goal). It's much warmer today (mid to upper 30s, woohoo!) so it should be a good time to run.

The trick will be keeping it together tonight and not noshing on every carb in my house (which isn't much after this weekend).

That's the deal around here. Sorry to be such a downer. Bring on the good cheer in the comments, friends. I'd love to hear it!

P.S. I do take my own advice and repeat to myself "this is only temporary" on a regular basis. I know this will pass. It always does.


Anonymous said...

Hi Laura, what a beautiful family you have. And you look absolutely gorgeous. I think it is the best picture of you I have seen.

And Red Lobster....mmmmm mmmmm--one of my old favorite haunts!

Pajama days are fun. I'm having one today. Just as long as it doesn't turn into a pajama life....I have to admit, I don't deal much with depression, except on most days I work. And even though I know its temporary (I think d/t stress and long hours, lack of sleep) and I can remind myself intellectually that it will be okay tomorrow after a good night's sleep, it doesn't make my horrible thoughts of anger and doom and despair any less real that day when it is happening. So I feel for you at least a little.

Eating and eating? Can't you get rid of some of the bad stuff, just not keep it anymore? And fill the house with 'okay' stuff THAT YOU LIKE? I don't know. I do think that if I didn't have an abundance of 'okay' stuff, then I really would eat all the 'bad' stuff that I keep around.

Marcy said...

Oooooo I love your fam pic! You all look fabulous! Especially you my dear ;-)

Vickie said...

picture is REALLY good.

If last year's posts are any indication - you will feel better soon.

Do not run risk of injury if it is at all icy there - hit the treadmill if need be. (here the ice is BAD - I would not even run the risk of hauling recycling and garbage down to the street last night - we have a long driveway - I literally called up the stairs to my hubby - you'll have to do it because I won't risk my back or knees).

Jodie said...

Great photo!

I agree, some pajamas days are just needed. Winter is so hard on everyone's moods. Glad you realized it and called in to up the meds. Hopefully those will kick in soon and you'll be feeling better (or sometimes, like me, just not feeling.)

LOL about the Red Lobster. I saw that commercial on Saturday and wanted to go. I'm wondering if they really do have a grill master in the was it? Those scallops look awesome.

Helen said...

LOVE the photo. I'm sorry you're feeling bad about the weight...I sympathize...even though I'm less than last year at this time, I've been lower so I feel BAD. :-(

I want a pajama day...maybe after New Year's... ;-)

Grumpy Chair said...

Laura you look so lovely and skinny. Such a good looking family.

I love Cheese biscuits. Enough said.

Have a great week.

Vickie said...

please go poke around this web site and see if there is anything new.

melatonin is on my list to ask psychiatrist about next week.

MCM Mama said...

That is a lovely family picture! You look awesome!

{{{HUGS}}} for how you are feeling. Hopefully the meds will make all the difference. Hang in there!

Jill said...

You look so good in that picture!!! what an adorable family!

Okay, on to the biz - have you been following me around and posting my life on your blog??? Cause I've been doing the same thing. Sunday we skipped church and laid around and did a whole lot of nothing all day long. Just didn't have the energy.

My carb radar seems to be in overdrive lately. I want all carbs all the time - it must be the colder weather, also to blame for my lack of exercise the last 7 days. I know I'll feel better if I work out, but getting up the energy to do it seems like a lot of work!

And you are right, this will pass, so don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe for the rest of this month you could just stay at the weight you are now and focus on losing it after the holidays. Get in a couple of runs for the sake of stress relief, not weight loss.

Hang in there kiddo - in a few months we'll be celebrating Spring and sunshine again! :)

Cindy...154 said...

I feel the snugness and the muffin top syndrome, too. I have been sick for the better part of two weeks now and have stopped working out because I feel so lousy. But it is only temporary, you are right and that is what I keep reminding myself also. It will pass.

Cindy...154 said...

Oh yea, beautiful picture!

Vickie said...

I was reading an article on dizziness (doctor's waiting room - no one is sick - dermatologist) and I think I understood it to say that it is ALWAYS fluid in the inner ear.

I have been spraying saline 3-4 times a day - and all kinds of 'bits' are moving on out as I blow later in the day - and my dizzies ARE better. I am a science experiment once again.

I am going back up to steal the magazine tomorrow. . .

LG said...

What a beautiful photo of the family! They (and you) are gorgeous.

We will all have slips; that I'm convinced of -- it's what we do after we slip. You worry after a weekend and I'm still avoiding after 15+ pounds.

Sigh. You're doing great though!