Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Binging on my Mind

So this week I've had two days of bad binges. These things perpetuate themselves. Just when I think I have control, I don't. When I think it's stopped, it hasn't. Even though I worked out at lunch, my evening went to hell and I comforted myself in food. I ate well during the day, veggies and fruit. Then the evening comes and my demons take over.

Has it stopped now? I am afraid to know the truth. I refuse to quit this new lifestyle of eating veggies and fruit, counting Points, learning how to run. I AM GOING TO LOSE 60 POUNDS BEFORE I'M 40. Why can't this thought be there and the determination save me at 1 a.m. when I'm rooting through the kitchen cupboards? My food demons take over, moving me in directions I don't truly want to go, but have gone so many times before.

My scale is at 201 today. I should be happy it's not more. Deep breath, back on plan. Tomorrow is official weigh in day. I will be successful today.

Staying home, metal health day off of work. About 5 more hours to myself..... Ah, heaven.

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