Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Depression settling in again--? (151.0)

I still have a pound or so of travel weight to shed.  I didn't overeat, but we ate at weird hours and I had foods I don't eat at home, with more sodium than normal.  Not worried about it.  Just noting it.

I had some anxiety in  Colorado that I think could be altitude related.  I had a major anxiety attack last summer, when we were there for a week.  It was mostly due to the increased dose of lamictal, I think, but I noticed the same type of anxiety (but milder) on day 2 of our trip. 

Travel went perfectly smoothly--no airline or driving issues. We flew direct from Indy to Denver (drove to Indy, about 3 hours).  I was relaxed about traveling because I'd allowed plenty of time. Kids traveled well.  I love flying.  We had our TomTom so no directions issues in the car when we left the airport. 

So I don't the anxiety was situational.  I think the altitude was the issue.

Monday was a full travel day, about 11 hours from leaving BIL's house to getting home. 

Yesterday I let the kids stay home from school again.  They were beat.  I went in to work at 1:30 and Mark came home to stay with them.  I started feeling some "afters" yesterday.  I thought it was just that--afters.  But today I am listless, anxious, and starting to feel like I'm walking through mud again.

I started tapering off Wellbutrin on 3/7/13.  I was fully off by 4/2.  My intention was to get off of it, because I'd been on it long enough that it was no longer effective, then get back on in the late summer or early fall.  I assumed I'd be okay for most of the summer.  When I've tapered off before, it was a few months before I got back on.

Today, I feel like I am probably going to go back on it sooner than later.

I could be feeling like this because of lingering after affects of travel.  Or it could be hormones. I'm smack dab in the middle of my cycle.  I looked back over my cycle/moods notes that I keep in notepad on my phone--right before my period and about 7-10 days after my period, I'm moodier than usual.  It's 16 days after my last period.  So, not sure if this is hormones or not.

It feels like depression starting again. 

I will wait a day or so to see if it lightens.  If not, I'll probably start wellbutrin again.

Which is fine, I'm not opposed to taking medicine.  I just expected the "off" cycle to be longer than this (expectation based on how this went the last time I cycled off/on).  And I'm not okay with having more than more than 2-3 days of walking through mud.


Laura N said...

and I felt really good about how I looked while in CO. lots of skinny women in Mark's family. I didn't feel fat being with them, which was refreshing for me.

Vickie said...

You are right, very hard to tell - hormones, depression, AFTERS, altitude.

You are smart to log.

On Monday at my book group, ironically, two people were talking about how hard Denver altitude is on their bodies.

Loved all the pics. You are such a very cute family. You look like you all "go" together.

We do too. Youngest said that people know her from her bone structure and coloring at high school: You must be __________'s sister.

Vickie said...

how are you feeling now?

Laura N said...

Thanks so much for asking, Vickie. I have continued feeling like I'm "in the mud." It's frustrating and disappointing. I started taking wellbutrin again yesterday morning. No difference yet.

I'm not at rock bottom. I can get out of bed, go to work, take care of the kids. But that's about it. I have little energy or motivation to do anything above the minimum. Very unproductive.

I just came back from an acupunture appointment. I haven't been in at least 6 weeks, due to scheduling conflicts with the doctor and with me. I think going so long without a treatment has something to do with me feeling off, too. I go back on 5/22 and will continue to go every 2 weeks.

I'd like to take a yoga class or two in the next few days. Yoga helps my mental state a lot.

I see my therapist on 5/22, right after acupunture. I'm getting another massage next week. I have been having very bad shoulder and neck pain, knotted muscles--have seen the chiropractor and had 4 massages on my upper back so far. The massages aren't relaxing--they are work, and painful at times. Lots of knots to work out.

It is encouraging, though, that I'm not eating sugar/fat/flour foods through all this.

Laura N said...

*no difference from the wellbutrin--should clarify. I don't expect a difference after 2 doses. I might feel something after a week or so, maybe. should feel better, if it does it's job, within a month.