I had no problem resisting desserts at my mom's or not eating sugar cookies that Sophie & I made on Christmas day (she likes to decorate more than eat... I think she's had 3 since Tuesday).
Funny story... When we arrived at my mom's on Christmas eve, I went straight to the kitchen to toss my salad. Everyone had already started eating. My sister came up to me and held a fork up to my mouth with a small bite of food. I didn't pay any attention to it and I really couldn't see it that well since it was so close to my face & I have "old eyes" now that can't see that up close.
I assumed it was dinner food, since everyone had just started eating--so I just took the bite.
It was chocolate pie!
Chocolate pie is THE dessert for me at my family's gatherings. I loved it when I was a little kid and loved it as an adult. I'd eat slice after slice, usually 2 slices after dinner and 2 slices a couple hours later. Crystal made the pies this year, and she's a "food is love" person.As soon as I tasted the chocolate, I panicked and spit it out in the sink. I'm pretty sure she knew I wasn't eating sugar, but I think she probably just forgot or didn't realize what I'm doing now with my food. It's not like I talk about it around her. She's very overweight and very unhealthy and has no interest in me getting thinner.
But after I spit it out and said I can't eat dessert, she said "you're weird. You can't even have one bite?" I said no, I wish I could have just one bite, but I can't stop at one bite. She said "you're weird" again and let it drop.
No one else even noticed when I didn't eat dessert. I didn't notice that I didn't eat dessert. There were too many other things going on with the kids and family conversations. The food just didn't matter.
I had a small serving of chicken and dumplins and a huge portion of my salad (it was the only green thing there). I skipped the rest of the food--chili, potato soup, rolls, ham, cheese slices. I was perfectly content and full enough.
Christmas day was just us four. It was lovely. The kids had a great Christmas and were happy campers. I went for a five mile run that afternoon, which was another great gift I gave myself.
Yesterday was not so easy. I kept myself busy with laundry and reading and movies. I shoveled the drive way, which took about half an hour and was a butt load of work (I'm sore today in my back and arms and shoulders).
I went outside with the kids and Mark and built a snowman. I rarely play in the snow with them. I don't have snow pants, I don't like being cold and wet, and I usually crave the alone time. But not this year. This year I wanted to be with my kids and wanted to LIVE and not just exist. It was fun.
But we were basically couped up for two days in a row, and I got a little stir crazy. I did OK with food all day, but had a couple handfuls of peanuts around 8:30 pm. Peanuts make me retain water (these are unsalted, unroasted, but there must be something in them that messes with my body). I ate them because I wanted a snack and they don't trigger cravings for me.
But I still ate them out of boredom. And out of the post-Christmas melancholy that set in after the snowman building. It was a big AFTER. And I think not being in front of my SAD light for 5 days caught up with me (it's at work).
The peanuts were not the end of the world. I'm aware of it. I need to start paying attention and redirect when it happens again.
Today I'm working a half day, then going grocery shopping and making au gratin potatoes for dinner with Mark's family tonight. I am glad to get out of the house.
And I'm ready for spring. We've had Christmas. We had a good snow. I hate January and February. They are like one big AFTER. Recouping from November and December. Waiting for Spring. Waiting for the sun.
I'm glad I have the half marathon at the end of February to keep me running and have something to look forward to.