Still no binging. Seeking peace through my higher power (can't help but use that phrase, I'm reading it so much in the literature).
Still one day at a time. Still recognizing this is a disease. Not a default of character. Not a "make up my mind and I can stop binging" thing. Not something any diet will fix.
Definitely something that gets progressively worse when not treated.
Which explains SO much of the last few years.
If I'm not managing/treating the disease, it just makes me sicker.
I've been sick for almost my whole life with this disease. I've played around and thought I had control. Only to find it got worse.
Of course, I didn't understand until the past couple of weeks what was truly going on with me. Reading AA and OA books is eye opening.
And I'm not alone anymore. There are people just like me who KNOW and who care and who are in recovery.
No one beats this disease. No one is cured. The minute you think you are cured, you are doomed to relapse.
I feel like step one has sunk in: I am powerless over food and my life has become unmanageable. I'm almost ready for step two--came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
Has to be greater than me. I have proven over and over I can't do it.