Thursday, January 05, 2012

January -- at last

I know I know. It's been too long. I've been meaning to post for days. I've not been in a good place. No surprise I guess since my silence here generally means I'm not doing great.

The holidays got me way off kilter. Too much food, not enough time to myself, not enough days in front of my SAD light, too much illness. I wasn't sick but Mark was, for basically a full month. It all takes a toll.

Then Sophie got the stomach flu Saturday and a migraine Sunday that just let up today. She went to school Monday for a couple of hours. I picked her up and the ride in the school wheel chair to my car made her so dizzy she threw up leaning out of my car onto the sidewalk.

Add to that work uncertainty (we are in the midst of making decisions on changing things) and general moodiness from hormones, the moon, or what have you, and it's no wonder I've been off.

So I went to my therapist today. It helped. I'm going back in a month. I also have been in front of my SAD light three days in a row. That helps.

I ran 8 very hard miles last Saturday but hadn't run before or after (until the 2.5 miles I did on the treadmill today). The 8 were hard because you can't run a 10 mile run one Saturday, do nothing all week, and then run 8 miles the next Saturday.

Also, my asthma kicked up big time and I wasn't carrying my inhaler. I haven't needed it during a run this year. Before a run, I always use it (albuteral), but usually only need it with me on long runs. Which in hindsight--duh. 8 miles is a long run. I am going to start carrying it with me again.

The proud news on the running front is I ran 5 miles non stop on the 10 miler and 6 miles non stop on the 8 miler. Not taking walk breaks is a big deal for me. The other good news is I haven't gained a bunch of weight. I was 168.6 yesterday. I didn't weigh today and it is probably a bit more. But I know what I need to do to get going in the right direction again.

A New Year doesn't do much for me. For me, the build up is too much. The expectations too high. The disappointment factor too great. Too hot and then too cold. Too much room for failure.

So I look at January as what it is-- 3 months more until Spring. And the days are already getting longer. I miss the sun and the green and the warmth. I am ready to bloom when March gets here.

 - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


E. Jane said...

There will be better days ahead, so hang in there.

Jill said...

Well, you're taking steps to make yourself feel better (therapist, SAD light, etc) so that's a good thing! I got off track with my running too and it is super hard to get back in the groove. I'm with you - I'm just waiting for Spring to get here!!!

Laura N said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura N said...

delete was me.

Sorry about no paragraph breaks when this first published last night. The blogpress app is dodgy, at best.

I weighed this morning (Friday) and was 168.4. Moving on from there.

Tomorrow is a 10 mile run.

Vickie said...

160's (even the high end) are a very good way to start the year.

do I remember you have access to a treadmill for bad weather? not the same, I realize, but something. music can make it right.

make yourself notes for next year to help you figure out how to make each each smoother. Set them to post as reminders starting in October as you roll into the holiday season. Either on what to cut, what to do ahead, what to reorganize, whatever. I am a big believer in talking to ourselves by setting posts to pop up. plan ahead. and the best time to do that is while it is fresh in your mind now. NOT huge to do lists. More like a plan/priority outlook.

Vickie said...

that was each YEAR smoother.

Anonymous said...

I agree, 160's is a great way to start off the New Year. Slowly, but surely. Stay positive, remember to stop and take a deep breath once in a while. I am glad the light therapy works and gives you some much needed time to yourself.

Vickie said...

Laura it has been a week again.

Are you doing well and just not posting, or
sinking into questionable habits and not posting?

I am worried as you have slipped away so many times in the past when things were not going well. . .