Tuesday was the worst day, as far as this work thing goes. My knee jerk reactions went into my post Tuesday, and I did FEEL all those things at the time, but my first reactions were more dire, I suppose, than reality.
I'm still not happy with the situation, but I'm setting boundaries and I'm determined to take care of myself.
The broker I'm working with now asked me to access his calendar for client meetings and to see what his schedule is so I can see who he's meeting with and schedule appointments for him. I will not do this for him. I asked him to get me names & dates in advance so I can prep his account review material. He is calling his own clients back when there are issues. I've heard how he deals with Sara on his calendar--it has been a source of conflict for them, and I'm not getting involved in that.
I am only doing "account" work for him. I will not do personal chores for him. If it's related to sales or service, I will help. Anything else, I'm telling him I'm not comfortable handing that (such as entering his business and personal expenses from his bank account into Quicken).
I'm tracking every minute I touch the other broker's business. My goal is not to work more than 3.5 hours a day (half my day) on his business, so that I don't feel like I am short changing our business.
Taking care of myself:
Since I have to be here regular business hours, I'm taking a lunch like regular business hours people do. I never took lunch when I came in at mid-morning, of course. The past two days, my lunch has been working out at the gym. Pilates on Tuesday, Weights class on Wednesday. Those two classes are 45 minutes to accommodate the lunch hour. Lunch classes are only on Tues & Wed, so I will be going to the gym and walking or running the other days.
My plan is to go 4 or 5 days each week. I told Mark I need this hour away from the office to maintain my sanity. I eat lunch at my desk when I get back from the gym. I change my clothes at work in the bathroom, drive 5 minutes to the gym, workout, drive back, change back into work clothes (sweaty but not stinky :). Total time is about 65 minutes. Totally worth it.
This morning I got up at 5:30 and did my SAD light/Bible reading time. That helped center my day.
I haven't been able to eat breakfast at home, though. I need to get up at 5:00 or 5:15 if I want to eat at home (at least, I haven't figured out any other way yet). I had coffee (1 c. soy milk and espresso) at home, then had steel cut oats with PB and berries at 8:15. I need to work on breakfast, b/c I'm not happy with the late hour and the lack of significant protein. It's all part of the adjustment process.
Thank you for all your words of encouragment and support.