Last night I did not sleep well. It was the first bad night since I stopped taking trazedone. I woke up frustrated and angry and determined to start the damn trazedone again. I don't want to have another night like that again.
My husband doesn't sleep well. His sleep habits are horrible, and it impacts me. If we had a guest room, I'd sleep in there every night, but we don't so I can't.
I don't want to talk about all he does wrong in relation to his sleep issues. I cannot control his choices, and I have little ability to control how his choices affect me. I know that sounds lame, but I've lived with this for years and it's the way it is.
He will watch TV in the family room while I'm falling asleep; he's not totally insensitive. It's the middle of the night crap that disturbs my sleep and is why I loved the trazedone. It knocked me out cold and he could tap dance on the bed and I wouldn't notice.
Not so with xanax. Last night I fell asleep at 10:20, easily. At midnight, he woke me up. As usual, he couldn't sleep and his noise woke me out of my not-so-deep sleep. When I only take .25 mg xanax, I don't get into a deep enough sleep. (If I take .5 mg xanax, I have trouble waking up.) And when I wake up in the middle of the night, I don't get back to sleep quickly and I don't sleep deeply at all.
I slept, but it was more like cat naps. I was aware of the time passing several times during the night. When my alarm went off at 6, instead of getting up, I foolishly kept hitting the snooze alarm because I was mad that I was so tired and didn't want to get out of bed. And because those 9 minutes of sleep between beeps is (seemingly, although not really) better than nothing.
I haven't tracked my sleep behaviors in relation to my hormone cycles, but I'm suspicious that they may be linked. I should start in about a week, which is prime PMS time. Have any of you noticed your sleep being poor in relation to your cycle? I will be paying attention to this, IF I stay off the trazedone.
Which is the big question. Do I deal with the side effects? Do I split my pill down into a 1/4 size? (Which is basically a crumb, since they don't split cleanly. If I'm going to continue to take it, I need to call & ask for a smaller dosage.)
I sleep better when I'm working out. I haven't worked out regularly in months and months. So if I can start that back up, perhaps I'll sleep better. I only drink coffee in the morning, only rarely do I have any in the afternoon. Caffeine isn't the problem.
I have a suspicion that no matter what I do, I'm going to have to take drugs to sleep well. But figuring out what works without a sleep hangover may be a challenge.
I'm too PMS'y and crabby to make a good decision on any of it, so I'm letting it lie for now. I just wanted to vent while it was still fresh in my mind.