So last night I was thinking of what I could wear to a wedding we are going to on Saturday. I wear mostly black, grey, and blue clothes (seriously, my wardrobe needs a makeover) and nothing currently in my closet is festive enough to wear to a wedding in February.
I remembered a dress from my skinny years that is pink and black, with an empire waist and deep-V neck and back. It was in one of the "these clothes don't fit" underbed boxes in Luke's room. I dragged out the box, found the dress, and tried it on.
It fits perfectly. It's a size 8. I haven't worn it in over 3 years.
I have several other dresses that I didn't give away, all size 8s, so I tried them on too. They all fit.
Today I am wearing the brown dress that I remember looking at last year and thinking "my gosh, you were skinny when you wore that."
This weight loss has snuck up on me. I am still carrying a lot of weight in my hips and legs--more so than I did when I was this weight the last time. And I figured a lot of stuff wouldn't fit (my size 8 capris, for example, are still too tight--or at least they were a few pounds ago; I'll try them on again before I leave for Florida in a couple of weeks) . My dresses are A-line and the hip area is forgiving; the top portions are fitted at the waist. Stacy & Clinton would be OK with my dresses, ha.
I can also wear my size 8 brown wool coat. I tried it on a few months ago and it was super tight. It's dress length, fitted at the waist with 3 buttons, A-line shape. It's not snug at all and looks great.
The first time I lost weight I was in the mall every time I lost a few pounds. I watched my clothing sizes like a hawk and enjoyed getting the emotional "hit" when I bought clothes in a boutique store like The Loft or J.Jill.
This time, I decided not to make this all about the clothes, to not spend the excess money, to only buy what I need to function during the week. It has been fun, though, to go through my skinny clothes and have them start fitting. Being this size and getting into clothes I love motivates me to keep in shape and watch my food.
But I am very aware that I need to be careful about how I react to the attention I might get from the now-noticeable weight loss. That attention likely contributed to my derailing last time. That can't happen again. At least I am aware of it this time and have a therapist and a sponsor I can talk with.
For today I'll just enjoy my "new" clothes and be thankful.