Tuesday, January 20, 2009

That's It

I've had it.

I'm putting myself in timeout.

I've been "bad" way too long, and it's time to crack down on this unacceptable behavior.

I'm being punished with tight pants, a muffin top, overflowing 34Cs, and an overall sense of yuckiness & shame.

It's not just the way my body looks & feels. It's the old behaviors coming back that leave me feeling miserable & guilty, and I can't take it anymore. I eyed powdered donuts lustily on Saturday's grocery shopping trip. I made a pan of brownies yesterday on our day off for MLK Jr day "for the kids" and ended up eating almost the entire pan by myself. I bought ice cream sandwiches this weekend, ate 4 of them and threw the rest in the outside trashcan, being sure to cover up the box with a big trash bag--hiding the evidence.

I hate the person I'm becoming. It's the Old Me. And there's no room for her in my size 8 pants. No room at all in my "I've lost 60 pounds and am keeping it off forever" life. No room for her in my half marathon training plans.

I may have lost some battles the past few months, but I am not losing this war. Today I mark the line in the sand. And if the line gets fuzzy & I have to draw it again, so be it.

But that's it. I'm done with Old Me. I want Healthy Happy Feel Good About Myself Me back.

8 comments:

Laura N said...

And what have I done so far today? Had a good breakfast of grits w/protein powder. Had a low carb lunch of crack slaw & salad. Planning a snack of turkey & cottage cheese this afternoon. Will have a low carb dinner tonight (probably salmon with broccoli slaw). Not sure where my workout's going to come from--hopefully there will be time for a run this afternoon after a client appointment. And I'm joining forces with a family member in doing a Jillian Michael's DVD (just ordered it today).

Jodie said...

Good for you! Stand up and take control. You can do it, you've done it before, and you'll succeed again.

Sounds like you've had a great day so far. Keep it up!

Jill said...

Awesome!! I'll totally do the Shred with you. My niece is supposed to be sending me a copy of the 30 Day Shred (don't ask me how she got a "copy"), so I'll join you!

Sounds like you're having a good food day today - just keep the momentum going. =)

Vickie said...

I looked at Jillian's WII game and wondered about it. (I was buying games for the youngest and so I was looking at the whole wall of options). I will be interested to see what you think about the DVD. Last week SUCKED exercise wise around here - school delays - migraines - winter storms with no travel allowed - etc. SUCKED and I was shocked to see how dramatically it impacted me - I was back to freezing all the time - I felt like I weighed 300 pounds - I was more willy nilly with food thoughts than normal.

I am just convinced that sleep, exercise, food, having my kitchen clean!, being on top of the mail/paperwork/appointments stuff are all about equally important in keeping me EVEN.

MCM Mama said...

I'll detox with you. I've been out of control lately and need to hit the "beach" again, just to jump start the healthy life style. Let's keep each other in line!

LG said...

I think the reason you're doing well now is that it sounds like you planned your meals and exercise. (Mental note to myself: this is what I need to do.)

I'm glad you're doing better. Did you get a Wii Jillian Michael DVD or just a regular DVD? Do a review of it! :-)

LG said...

I think the reason you're doing well now is that it sounds like you planned your meals and exercise. (Mental note to myself: this is what I need to do.)

I'm glad you're doing better. Did you get a Wii Jillian Michael DVD or just a regular DVD? Do a review of it! :-)

Jill said...

I ordered my Shred DVD today! I've got Alicia and Eileen on board to Shred with us - think we can get a whole group together?! =)