I've had it.
I'm putting myself in timeout.
I've been "bad" way too long, and it's time to crack down on this unacceptable behavior.
I'm being punished with tight pants, a muffin top, overflowing 34Cs, and an overall sense of yuckiness & shame.
It's not just the way my body looks & feels. It's the old behaviors coming back that leave me feeling miserable & guilty, and I can't take it anymore. I eyed powdered donuts lustily on Saturday's grocery shopping trip. I made a pan of brownies yesterday on our day off for MLK Jr day "for the kids" and ended up eating almost the entire pan by myself. I bought ice cream sandwiches this weekend, ate 4 of them and threw the rest in the outside trashcan, being sure to cover up the box with a big trash bag--hiding the evidence.
I hate the person I'm becoming. It's the Old Me. And there's no room for her in my size 8 pants. No room at all in my "I've lost 60 pounds and am keeping it off forever" life. No room for her in my half marathon training plans.
I may have lost some battles the past few months, but I am not losing this war. Today I mark the line in the sand. And if the line gets fuzzy & I have to draw it again, so be it.
But that's it. I'm done with Old Me. I want Healthy Happy Feel Good About Myself Me back.