Monday, August 19, 2013

Minutia of my life at the moment (152.8)

It has been a long time since I've posted.

The biggest reason is I haven't had time, or haven't made the time.

I also feel like I don't have much to say. I could rattle on about the minutia of my life--and there's nothing wrong with that and I enjoy reading other people's minutia so I guess I shouldn't let that stop me--but part of me is tired of the of the minutia and the last thing I want to do right now is rehash it here. But since I haven't shared in so long, here's some minutia (apparently I love that word today).

I am doing mostly okay. We are all healthy and life is pretty normal. There have been many, many times in recent years where I couldn't say that. Normal is a wonderful thing that you don't often appreciate until you have too much "NOT normal."

Kids are back in school. Sophie has adjusted to 6th grade middle school (new school, 6-8 grade). She rides the bus home from school now and stays by herself for a couple of hours. She likes it so far. She's in honors classes, so when homework starts this week, I'm sure it will be a lot. She will get a netbook on August 29, and almost all of the homework and resources will be accesible through a website called MyBigCampus. Should be interesting.

She is also in a play (You're a Good Man Charlie Brown) and has rehearsals Friday, Saturday, and Sunday until the show starts the last weekend of September (she's off Labor Day weekend). I was worried about it being too much for her, but she said rehearsals give her energy because she has fun and she soaks up the positive energy of the cast and directors. We are blessed she has found her niche. She feels like she belongs to the theater family and has many friends there.

Luke is in 2nd grade and likes his teacher. One of his best friends is in his class. He also gets to go to the high ability class (it's one period a day with a different teacher who has all the high ability classes), which he loves because they study science and unique ideas that he doesn't get in his regular class. His reading skills have skyrocketed this summer, which has been really cool.

He isn't on his ADHD meds right now, though. We took him off for the summer, which his doctor agreed was okay. Time off lets the brain reset, just like it does when I go off of my depression meds, and it also let him gain some weight (he'd lost around 5 pounds over the school year, which was a lot on his lean lanky body).

When he stopped taking it, he was at 15 mg (we titrated him up from 5 then to 10 then to 15, over several months last year). We started him back at 15 mg, 3 weeks before school started. The doctor didn't say we should titrate up again, but clearly we should have (and are now), because 15 mg put him in a depressed lathargic state. I gave him 2 weeks to adjust, and at the end of 2 weeks he was still sad and quiet while the med was in his system (by 4 or 5 pm each day, it's worn off and he's back to himself). I can't get a refill on the 5 mg capsule until the end of this week; it's a controlled substance and you can't fill them less than 30 days apart. I explained to his teacher. He'll be distracted and fidgety in class, probably, but he'll be fine.

Luke is also in gymnastics, which he takes on Mondays at 4 pm. He's only been going a few weeks but loves it so far. He used to go a couple years ago, but he got tired of it so we stopped, but now he wants to go again. He has fun and it's great exercise for our non-sports boy.

Mark's back is okay but not great. The last procedure he had didn't work as well as the first one did last year. He is finding that when we work out the knots in his glutes and hamstrings, the pain is much better. Basically he has pain from more than one source, and the daily pain often comes from sitting and his muscles knotting up. It's great to have a solution that works for him most of the time.

I am kinda "meh." I am still not running or exercising, and am in a constant state of "shoulds" around it. I seriously don't know what my problem is. I am in the extreme "body at rest" mode. I have precious little time, but what time I do have is usually spent being lazy with a book or TV. Not where I want to be, but obviously my desire to change is not yet greater than my desire to stay the same.

My food is "meh." I'm still abstinent and not eating binge foods. Almost 11 months with no dessert-type foods, which is what my binge list consists of. That has made a huge difference in my life. I do still eat for comfort, though, which I'm not okay with and need to do OA work on. What that means for me now is, I will eat meals when I'm feeling out sorts or sad or whatever, and I will eat too much food and too much food with carbs. I am not carb free--but dessert/binge food free. I don't binge uncontrollably. I don't eat in the middle of the night. But I am not eating as cleanly as I need to be. This disease is still a disease and I fight it everyday. It's just not as easy as it was in the beginning.

We have had a lot of people die lately. There were five people in a two week period that we knew. We went to two funerals. Now our close friend's dad--who we are also close to and is a client--has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer and has a week or so to live. The funerals didn't get to me too badly, other than it being a lot at one time. But our friend's dad, who is 66, has been rough.

That's all I have time for today. Thanks for keeping up with me!


Vickie said...

that is a lot of deaths, even if you are not going to all the funerals.

how lovely that her play practice is on the weekends.

Glad you posted.

Jill said...

((((hugs)))to you dear friend. Hang in there, I'm pulling for you!