Wednesday, July 14, 2010


This week marks 13 weeks from the next half marathon in our town. I've run the last 2, and I sure as heck don't want to miss the race on 10/10/10. I totally want a t-shirt with that super cool date.

So, that means I've got to get BUSY. And I ran/walked 3 miles yesterday, and put myself one step closer to my goal. I've got about 10 million more steps to get there, but it all starts with one.

I'd also like to lose 13 pounds in 13 weeks. It sure would make the race easier to run under 150 than at 161. Plus, I need to fit into my fall clothes. That, or go shopping for size 12 pants and I SO am not looking forward to that possibilty. When I stopped running I gained weight. Running again = lose weight? It better!

Goals are good. Now I just have to be consistent and stick2it.

Dad update: we are going to put dad in a nursing home the first week of August. My uncle (who spends the night with him through the week) thinks sooner is better than later. Between running short on funds (VA pays for nursing home so we will not have that cost to bear), caregiver fatigue, and his increasing medical care needs, it's time.

We can't tell my sister because she can't not share the info with dad. And we can't tell dad because it will make him an angry mess until the day he has to leave his house. Let me tell you, this has been a hellish week, carrying the knowledge around and not being able to tell anyone but my husband (no one from my family reads my blog, so it won't get to my sister from here).

It would be a huge blessing if he would pass in the next few weeks, but that's not likely to happen. His appetite is back and he has sort of plateaued. He's going to hate it so much, but we don't have a choice. I visited the home and it was nice, as far as those things go. It didn't smell bad, which is a big deal. And they'll give him a private room. The grounds are really nice, and he can have his special hospital bed the VA bought him (which he's never used) and he can have his fancy wheelchair (where he stays, by his choice, 24/7).

He'll probably not want to even see me after the move, since I'm the one "responsible" for him leaving his home. I handle the finances--had to break the news we are almost out of money and can't support the ridiculous cost of 24/7 care any longer. I and my uncle made the decision. Dad is going to need someone to blame. It's likely to be me. I guess we'll see.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch


Tish said...

Blessings on you. It's a very hard thing to face losing a parent, but neigh impossible to be the one who has to make the difficult decisions. I think you're doing the right thing for all concerned. I wish you peace in your heart.
Good for you to set such lofty goals. It's entirely "doable" and will give you a positive focus with a great outcome for these coming weeks. I'm right with you on the running and the weight loss goals. Just think how good you'll feel to accomplish this.
Go for it!

Vickie said...

Tish said: "It's a very hard thing to face losing a parent"

and my mind went to - it is an even harder thing to face not losing a parent.

Face that the dwindles can last forever and ever and drag the whole family down and out in the process. Drag them down financially, emotionally, families own health.

My mom's lawyer said several times a year (in his own practice) the healthy family member (tending the dwindling family member) drops dead from the stress and strain.

And you are now the parent of your parent and the parent of your sister on a lot of levels and that is hard.

Jill said...

Oh Laura, that's such a hard burden to bear. I think of you so often and I really wish there was some way I could help you!! Hang in there sweetie, it can't go on forever.

Ugh. So okay, if you have started running again, I guess I should too. I quit for the last month because it is so miserably hot and muggy here, but my mood has been AWFUL lately and I really think I need the endorphins. I can always run inside at the gym - not ideal, but better than nothing I guess. I'll bet there's a 5k on 10/10/10 around here somewhere!! I think the running will do wonders for you in regards to dealing with your dad - you need a serious stress release!!

debby said...

I am with everyone else in their good comments. What a hard thing you are going through Laura. And yet what a grown-up decision you have made. So SO hard.

I love that you have made a few do-able goals for yourself, especially the running, which will only make you feel better and feel better about yourself.


Anonymous said...


Cindy...154 said...

I think I will share your goal. I have been exercising more the past week or so but still no budge on the scale. I am at 160/159 and 13 pounds would put me in the 140's which I passed through briefly in 2008. It is harder to exercise at this weight. I feel for you with your dad. I hope it goes as best as it can, take care of yourself and keep checking in. I know we are not where we'd like to be right now but we are sill way better off than we were before we lost our weight. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...