Seems I just have to have a massive brain dump of information on here, and I lighten up considerably. Or else I usually only want to write when I'm in the depths. Probably also because the sun is shining and my hormones aren't being as mean to me today as they were yesterday, I felt much better this morning.
I have been thinking about a question my sponsor asked me last week.
What brings you joy?
I sat like a deer in headlights when she asked. I racked my brain---what do I DO that brings me joy?
Shouldn't I list things like...
Working in my garden (which I do not have)
Painting beautiful landscapes (which I cannot do)
Volunteering to feed the homeless (which I have done several times in my life, but not regularly)
Sailing, hang gliding, mountain climbing, ocean swimming (none of which I can do because I live nowhere near mountains or oceans or cliffs)
...and on and on, the more romantic and etheral, the better. Right?
When we talked, I was having a really off day. SAD was starting and I felt just plain flat. I said things like my family, reading, watching movies, running. But I felt an utter lack at not being able to instantly rattle off a list of JOYtivities.
So after thinking about it for almost a week, I'm writing about them now.
What I came up with...
Spending quality time with my family (although the quality of our time together lately has not been joy-inducing; we need to work on that)
Running and running races (um, so, why aren't I running?!)--guilt, not joy around this one right now, but there's hope in acknowledging that yes, running brings me joy and if I want joy, I need to go running!
Reading. Love love love to read. Joy vicariously through the lives of fictional characters.
Watching movies together as a family (more so at the theater. we watch a lot of movies together at home, and sometimes there's joy, and sometimes it's boring and I read while they watch a movie)
Watching Say Yes to the Dress with Sophie. This has become a weekend favorite for us.
Shopping with Sophie for clothes (which we did yesterday at a consignment shop, and it was great fun for both of us)
Snuggling with my boy. Luke means "light" and that child is a ray of light every time I get near his sweet little self.
Listening to Luke read to me.
Connecting with my husband on a level of friendship and awareness that I only share with him. I'm not talking about sex (although, thankfully, there's still joy there). I'm talking about the fact that he knows me better than anyone else on the planet. Knows me better than I know myself somedays. When I stop and appreciate the relationship that we have--regardless of all the usual issues that are inherent in a 20 year relationship--I am filled with joy. He adores me. I know he adores me. What more can a girl ask for?
I know I can come up with more, and I probably will. But that's all I have time for today.
One thing obviously missing here.... FOOD. A year ago, I'd have listed eating ice cream. And baking cookies. And Thanksgiving pumpkin pie and Christmas chocolate pie. And chocolate.
While it's almost a food, I don't feel bad about adding coffee to the list. Coffee brings me joy, every single morning.