The good news is I weighed 152.0 yesterday. My clothes fit much better and I feel better about my body. I'm still squishy--I need to lift weights again--but at least the squishy stuff takes up less space. More good news--we bought a treadmill & it should be here next week.
The bad news is my life is getting more insane, not less. I am going to my Dad's on Thursdays & Saturdays now to take care of him. Mark has agreed to let me miss work on Thursdays & he will be studying and working on Saturdays & my mom will keep the kids.
What the Saturday thing means is this--I have to cancel the marathon in April. I can't run for hours & hours on a Saturday morning & still go to my dad's to take care of him. It's just not possible. Plus, Dad will either be in really horrible shape in April, or he will have recently passed away. There's no way I can deal with that emotionally, and my family (the ones who are helping with my dad) can't support me in a race that took time away from my responsibilities. So it's off.
I'll still run the half marathon on 4/11/10, because after running four halfs I know I can train for 13.1 miles without too much trouble. And I'll either run Chicago in October or wait until next April & run Evansville's 2nd marathon (assuming they do it again).
I was really upset last Friday when I committed to staying with Dad every Saturday & realized what that meant to my plans. It's a big dream, celebrating my 40th birthday with a marathon run. But it can wait. I got over being upset pretty quickly.
Seeing my Dad barely able to lift himself out of a chair puts things in perspective. I'm damn lucky to be able to run at all.
9 comments:
{{{HUGS}}} I'm sorry you are going through this, but I don't think you'll ever regret spending the extra time with your dad.
Glad you are feeling better about yourself. Hang in there.
MCM Mama
Whew! I thought the bad news was going to be much much worse!
I really am sorry that you had to cancel the marathon - I know it meant a lot to you, but there will be others. I think you made the right decision, and you will have more peace about it later.
I have missed you around blogland, but rest assured that we will all still be here when things settle down for you! Take care chica! :)
And call or text or email or whatever if you need anything!
You won't regret it, Laura. Hang in there!
Boy, I sure know what you mean about the disappointment in cancelling something so special. But I also know what you mean about getting over the disappointment, and about putting it all in perspective when you see your dad.
I know it is hard but like everyone else said you will be glad you did it in the long run. I know it is hard right now. I am squishy, too but losing and like you the squishy takes up less space, good way to put it. My Dad's condition is getting worse and worse now and our family we have to make some decisions soon. Take care. I am really glad you are blogging more now!
It will (probably) be less stressful for you (in the long run with the shorter run).
and did his wife just slip quietly into the sunset or is she making everyone's life hell?
glad you posted!!!
I'm sorry about the marathon but you know what? You're doing what you think is the right thing. It's just symbolism about running on your 40th -- you're already living the life you want now! That's a pretty impressive victory, my friend!
XOXOXO
time for an update please.
I think you made the right decision, and you will have more peace about it later.
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