Sunday, December 31, 2006

Why can't I.....

...get it together enough to stay on a plan? I know why-- it's all the stress of work, family, our office move and the financial implications, the uncertainties of business, Mark's stress, the kids being sick, me being sick, the holidays. I'm self medicating the stress with food.

And I'm tracking towards 200 pounds again. My clothes don't fit. I'm miserable. This has got to stop.

If only I can give myself 3 hours a week to exercise. 3 days a week to eat right. It would be a good start. But is that possible? I feel so drained, so empty, and food is the only thing that fills me up.

I know this is temporary, but until it ends I will continue to be a slave to food. I need to find some resolve that Anne talks about over on AFG. Where did I put it? Maybe it's hidden at the bottom of my closet.

3 comments:

Lori said...

Laura, you write you're a perfectionist and nothing's perfect. (I hate that idea too.) It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

You're under a lot of stress. You're right about food being a source of comfort and it seems cruel to get rid of something that makes you feel better. On the other hand, the results of eating is not making you feel better. Sigh. It's a vicious circle.

I don't think it's a question of resolve or willpower. It's a question of figuring out how to make yourself feel better without food as your opiate.

I am always thinking about you and hoping you are well. You and Jen inspire me with your running. I hope and pray things get better for you and your family. You certainly deserve it.

xoxo Happy New Year xoxox

Vickie said...

With small children and a job - I am not sure you are going to find HOURS to exercise - you might find 15 minutes here and there.

You might be thinking "too all or nothing" - if I can't do an hour - then there is no point. Or if I can't do a half hour - there is no point.

I am reading JuJu on the oldest parts of Skinny Daily and she talks about weeks like that - week after week of weeks like that. She said that she would take 5 minutes and go climb the stairs - or five minutes and do floor exercises - or 15 minutes and go WALK FAST.

If you only feel that exercise is making it to the GYM for a long period of time - Try breaking it DOWN - into little tiny bits - baby steps that are REALISTIC for your life.

Food - WRITING it all down - everything that you eat - seems to be the universal thing that helps everyone. Try writing down the good, the bad and the ugly - write it down and try to work on it one meal at a time - one bite at a time.

It is hard - I agree.

Vickie said...

Still checking in EVERY DAY. Hope things are going well.