152.2 - Sophie's sick again

Sophie's dizzy spells came back yesterday with a vengeance. It was pretty bad yesterday morning; we did make it to my office where she played most of the day and was able to walk with some stopping & starting (movement makes it worse).

Then yesterday afternoon I took her to the doctor, just because we haven't been in a while about these and I wanted to talk about it again. We didn't see her regular pediatrician, since he was off for the afternoon. The other doctor in the office talked with us for almost 30 minutes. He said there were no other tests to run--neurologist & ENT were the way to go, and we've done that already. He prescribed Imitrex (a migraine med, the nasal spray), and said to try it, since we hadn't yet. Yesterday afternoon & evening she felt perfectly fine.

This morning she woke up, was dizzy but not horribly bad. We did the Imitrex, and 10 minutes later she felt worse than she has since this round of dizzy spells started. I'm not blaming it on the Imitrex; I'm sure it's a coincidence. When they are really bad, she's dizzy even while lying still. An hour after the Imitrex, she threw up. She's sleeping now, and it's been an hour since she threw up and two hours since the Imitrex. We'll see how she feels when she wakes up.

I feel so horrible about this on many levels. I hate that she's missing school. I hate that she's missing the fun holiday things they are doing at school and in after care. I hate that she's missing her friends, and they are missing her. I hate it that she knows all this, and she's sorry she's missing it all too.

And I feel so trapped, so alone. For the most part it all falls on my shoulders, because Mark has to focus on work (he brings in the money after all, and you all know how the stock market gig is going lately). And he's taking 2 classes to finish his business degree, so that's more on his plate. And so, like most moms, the kids, the house, the groceries, the laundry, all ends up on me. Normally, this is semi-manageable. At least it is when I've got the right chemical & hormonal balance in my brain.

Right now, this is almost more than I can bare.

Thankfully Mark took Luke to day care this morning (obviously I can't leave the house if Sophie can't even move), and I'm not going to the office. I've got work I can do at home while she sleeps. Mark will pick Luke up after work if Sophie's not better (and maybe even if she is better, since I'm not sure if I'll have it in me to leave the house today).

Our office open house is this Friday, and there is so much to do to get ready for that it's nuts. Mark has to give a presentation to our clients at the beginning of the open house (along with 2 other investment guys), so he's got that on his mind also. And if Sophie's not well by Friday... well, I have to be at the open house--that's not even an option--and my mom will take care of her, but Sophie will want me and I'll have to leave anyway. I guess I'll stop worrying about that and just jump off that bridge if we come to it.

So much fun around here! Woohoo, aren't you glad you stopped by today? No, seriously, thank you for listening to my whine fest. I truly am a wreck and just wish I could have you all here in my family room holding my hands and giving me hugs and bringing me margaritas and telling me it will be alright. Since my friends are all over the country, though, I'll still be thrilled with your virtual support.

And what in the world would I do without that?