500.01

It's done! 500.01 miles for 2008. I had a great run yesterday. It was 60 degrees when I set off at ten minutes to 4:00. The sun was shining, low in the sky. There was a steady breeze. I had downloaded David Cook's new CD to my iPod (it's awesome! Jill, if you haven't gotten it yet, you need to), and I had just enough time to get in my 5.78 miles by the time it got dark at 5 p.m.

When I got to my last .25 miles I had a big smile on my face and was listening to KT Tunstall's Suddenly I See. I've no aspirations to be a super model, but I love that song. It really gets me moving & feeling like I know exactly why I'm putting my body through the miles on the road.

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you count
She holds you captivated in her pout

Suddenly I see
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see
Why the hell it means so much to me

That 500 mile goal is the reason I've run this past week and a half. Honestly if I didn't have it to meet, I don't know if I'd have made myself get out there.

I love setting & meeting goals. I think I need to set more for 2009.

But not today. Today I'm kicking back, doing a little work from home, shopping for NYE appetizers for tonight's get together with our friends, and generally chillin' with the kids.

One more Happy New Year to ya! See you all in 2009.

New Year's Eve Eve

I am so ready to put 2008 to bed.

In a lot of ways, it was a great year for me.

I claimed my goal weight of 155 in February. I maintained an almost 60 pound weight lost for over a year. I ran a 7k, 2 5ks, and 2 half marathons. My kids are alive & well, growing & thriving, the lights of my life. My husband is alive & hanging in there, & I'm so thankful he has not given up.

Yet, like many people I'm longing for a new start. I'm ready to shed my winter fat. I'm hopeful for a better 2009 financially for our clients & ourselves. I'm praying we all stay safe & sound for another year. Lately I've been hyper-conscious of how precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away.

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. Last year I made Groundhog Day's resolutions, but I don't think I kept many (if any) of them. But I am big on the metaphorical clean slate of January 1st. Fresh, clean, bright & shiny January 1st.

So let's get 2008 over with already and bring on 2009.
***
I am happy to report I'm going to hit my 500 mile goal for 2008. I've got 5.78 miles to run this afternoon (in 50 degree weather, no less) and I'll hit 500. I am so happy to have two nice round zeros on my yearly mileage. And I've stopped the weight gain. I'm maintaining around 155, which isn't where I want to be but at least my jeans still zip. For now, I'll take it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

Real Quick

Hey gang! Did you all have a good Christmas? Ours was good--nobody got sick, which is a big deal since there's a lot of stomach flu going around our town (just watch, tomorrow one of us is going to be puking our guts out). The kids got what they wanted, but we didn't go overboard.

To be honest, I'm just glad it's all over. I'm ready for normal life to return.

And I'm not waiting until January 1st to turn things around, diet wise. Vickie, you are too right. Another week of eating whatever I want could do another 5 pounds damage, and I'm just not going there. No, I am definitely not going to pull an Oprah on this. 10 pounds up from my lowest weight is where it stops. I'm reversing the upward trend, starting today.

I ran 5ish miles with niece Kate this morning. It was the first decent mileage run since....the last time I ran with Kate at Thanksgiving. She's so great. I very much enjoy running with someone else, especially when it's her.

So we have a get together with friends tonight. Probably another one this weekend with friends who live in London but came home for the holiday. And then next week we'll work some, visit friends out of town some, and party on New Year's some.

Hopefully I'll get more running in so I can meet my 500 mile goal. I still have 15 miles to get there. In one week. It's not impossible, but it's going to take some effort. But worthwhile endeavors take effort, so I'm planning on doing it.

I may not be around much until after New Year's. So don't worry about me if I don't post for a while.

Happy New Year!

Holding Pattern

I feel like I'm stuck in a holding pattern, waiting for Normal to return.

My food is not normal. My workouts & running are not normal. My sleep is not normal. My kids' schedules are not normal. My blog reading is not normal.

All this anti-normal is putting me back into Old Normal mode. You know, the mode where I eat whatever I want and then feel guilty about it later. And of course the by product is excess fat on my body.

I'm not going to whine about it here, though. I've done enough whining lately.

I don't see things getting back to the New Normal any time soon. Today there is ice on the roads (I tried to go to work, but it was so slick I was sliding *up* hills, and I saw one fender bender just a mile from our house, so I turned around and took the kids & me back home), and I most likely won't get to go to the gym. Plus, I'm stuck in the house with two kids--Mark made it to work OK, he's not as nervous driving as I am--and that's a recipe for me to eat for comfort.

So, I'm just accepting what is right now. Christmas is in 2 days. The New Year is a time for fresh starts. I'll jump on the weight loss bandwagon with 90% of the world next week. I know what to do. I've just got to get going & do it.

No weigh in....New trend?

I haven't weighed myself the past two days. Weekends notwithstanding, this is a record length of time for me not to know, to the .2 pound mark, how much I weigh.

Pokey made a comment on my last post that got me thinking. And MizFit answered my comment (read it all below) on her blog that got me really thinking.

I'm way too hard on myself.

I realize this is not a news flash to you, my bloggy friends. And it's not news to me, either. I just tend to live in denial. A lot.

Wait, there I go. Being hard on myself again.

And I'm thinking 2009 is going to be the Year of Self Love. I don't know how exactly, and I don't have a plan yet. But I know the why's. There are many.

I deserve it. I'm a child of God. He loves me and created me. He made me the way I am. And if He can love me, why shouldn't I love myself?

My children need a mom who cares for herself. Especially my daughter. MizFit's comment struck me like a dagger in the heart. The older I get, the more I look like my mom. And often, act like my mom. And most of the time, I hate it. I love my mom, don't get me wrong. She does more for me and my kids than anyone else on the planet. But she drives me nuts sometimes, with her negative self talk and her nagging worry and her frequent complaints about how she looks. HELLO! Wake up Laura! I am becoming my mother. I certainly don't want my daughter to feel the negative feelings about me in the same ways I do about my mom.

I'd be a lot happier if I wasn't so stinking critical of myself. So what if my butt's a little bigger this month? Nobody probably even notices but me. And my contentedness with my weight and body will surely flow into other aspects of my life.

What would happen if I spent more time on other things I care about, besides what I put in my mouth? The idea of not being constantly obsessed with food & how to burn off the extra calories I consume is so radical, I can't quite get my head around it.

I know there are many more I could come up with.

Is it possible I could take the focus off of gaining/losing/gaining/losing.... and find a happy medium?

To weigh or not to weigh. It's an age old dieter's question that will likely be debated forever. I'm still not sure I can go a week (or longer) without checking my weight. But I'm going to experiment. I'll try not eating at night so I feel better in the morning and hungry for my breakfast, instead of working toward a lower number on a scale. I could lift weights with abandon and get rock hard muscles, and not give a flying fig about how much weight it puts on me. I could even, dare I imagine, use my size 6 jeans as my barometer for how I'm doing in the poundage department.

Perhaps hope & change aren't just going to happen in The White House next year. Maybe they can show up in my house, too.

Pokey's comment on my last post:
And hon...you are still doing great with your weight!! Dont be so hard on yourself. You look great, and feel great (right?) in your skin...so that should be all that matters. I think you need to toss that darn scale of yours.Seriously.

My comment on MizFit's post:
Definitely want to keep my daughter from going through what I did in my teens (overweight, but not obese), yet I am afraid her body is built just like mine & I don’t know how to avoid it. Sigh.

MizFit's response:
ok not much time so this shall be short , but I know this thought isnt one only you have, Laura.

Im gonna tough love you, Sister.
*you* need to find your self love. your body love. your I SO COMFY IN MY SKINSUIT I WANNA SHOUT THIS SH*T FROM THE RAFTERS feeling.
that’s your answer.
she will look to you and emulate you.(I know the peers come into play here—but that’s a different post).
she will watch and see how you respect you body and, in turn, view hers as such.
I think one of the most powerful things I have read is how daughters who do not love themselves so often *do* have parents who praise them and who lavish them with love!
when asked why they still couldnt see their inherent value 99% of the time they responded that they saw their mom not love herself and thought: I AM SO MUCH LIKE MY MOM! I MUST NOT BE WORTHY.

153.0 - The pills are working

So my increased med dosage must be kicking in, because despite all the crazyiness, the busyness, the sickness, the overindulgenceness, the lack-of-exerciseness, and the fatness--I don't feel like I'm losing my mind.

At least today.

Our party Friday went really well. I wore my black dress that makes me look skinny and hits above my knees so my legs look good, and I received several compliments, which is always nice.

I spent almost 48 hours recovering afterwards. Saturday at 5 a.m. I woke up with a migraine (stupid, stupid me. I cannot drink wine, of any kind, period). Thankfully I had Sophie's Imitrex nasal spray from her appointment last week, and since it doesn't work for her dizzyness, I used a dose for my headache. And I took a xanax and feel back asleep until noon. Noon! Then I basically stayed in bed until 4:30 p.m. My sister brought the kids home around 6:30. I didn't even take a bath Saturday, I was that lazy.

Sunday we made it to church, then had lunch at Bob Evans (I know, I know), then I spent another afternoon in pajamas. The kids were wonderful all day. Sophie felt fine all day. It was a nice family Sunday.

Yesterday Sophie was sick--not with dizzyness, but with a sore throat (even though her tonsils are out, the back of her soft pallette was red & sore) and a horrible sinus infection. So she stayed home from school with Mark, and I went to work. I felt pretty out of it yesterday still. I guess kind of a lazyness hangover from the weekend.

Last night I was really upset about how much weight I've gained. I got out the tape measure and confirmed I've gained some inches. Then I put on my PJs and made dinner & thought about when I'd get myself back under control.

This morning I expected my weight to be off the charts--I haven't run or worked out since last Monday--but it's not insurmountable. Even though my clothes are tight, they fit fine and still look OK (but just barely). I'm not going to have to buy bigger pants yet.

And thankfully Sophie is feeling better. She even rode the bus to school today (first time in 2 weeks she's done that). Luke is, as always, my sunshine. Seriously, the boy is the epitome of the meaning of his name--light.

Tonight we'll go to Sophie's swim class & I packed my gym bag to take a weights class. Then I've got to bake the first of two 20 pound turkeys for our city's Rescue Mission. Our circle of friends (7 families) provide & serve dinner and do a worship service (the kids help with this--last year we did the Nativity story, and every kid dressed up with church costumes), and that happens this Saturday.

I've got a bit of a more optimistic perspective this morning, and I thank the Pharmaceutical companies for it. Better living through chemicals, yee ha!

P.S.
We watched two new movies this weekend I wanted to share. The first was In Bruges. I absolutely loved this movie. Loved it. It's violent in several parts, but mostly it's a character film. Quirky. Funny. A great winter movie to rent. I'd actually like to see it again, it's that good.

The other was a comedy that I laughed at in spite of the stupidness (or rather, because of it). You Don't Mess with The Zohan is one of those movies where you have to enjoy crass humor. It does start to wane, like most of these movies do, but I still enjoyed it. I needed some stupid humor the night we watched it.

Status Update

Sophie made it to school this morning. Miraculously, she felt only mildly dizzy when she woke up, and she played with Luke with energy & happiness this morning. She said, on her own without my asking, that she wanted to go to school.

Obviously I am beyond relieved.

I no longer feel like I'm in the pit of despair, just perhaps sitting outside by the tree with the hidden knot that only the Count, the Prince, and the Albino know about (go rent The Princess Bride if you don't know what I'm referring to...one of the best movies ever).

But I still haven't run since my measly 2 miles on Monday. And I haven't had a chance to catch up on many of your blogs. I'm not eating myself silly, but did have oreos last night at 4 a.m. Work is stressful. Our office open house is tomorrow and I've got an unreal amount of things to do to get ready.

So my plate is overflowing, but I feel like I can handle it as long as Sophie (and the rest of my family) stays healthy.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, it's because I'm swamped. Hope you are all holding up well out there, dear friends. Thank you all for your encouragement.

152.2 - Sophie's sick again

Sophie's dizzy spells came back yesterday with a vengeance. It was pretty bad yesterday morning; we did make it to my office where she played most of the day and was able to walk with some stopping & starting (movement makes it worse).

Then yesterday afternoon I took her to the doctor, just because we haven't been in a while about these and I wanted to talk about it again. We didn't see her regular pediatrician, since he was off for the afternoon. The other doctor in the office talked with us for almost 30 minutes. He said there were no other tests to run--neurologist & ENT were the way to go, and we've done that already. He prescribed Imitrex (a migraine med, the nasal spray), and said to try it, since we hadn't yet. Yesterday afternoon & evening she felt perfectly fine.

This morning she woke up, was dizzy but not horribly bad. We did the Imitrex, and 10 minutes later she felt worse than she has since this round of dizzy spells started. I'm not blaming it on the Imitrex; I'm sure it's a coincidence. When they are really bad, she's dizzy even while lying still. An hour after the Imitrex, she threw up. She's sleeping now, and it's been an hour since she threw up and two hours since the Imitrex. We'll see how she feels when she wakes up.

I feel so horrible about this on many levels. I hate that she's missing school. I hate that she's missing the fun holiday things they are doing at school and in after care. I hate that she's missing her friends, and they are missing her. I hate it that she knows all this, and she's sorry she's missing it all too.

And I feel so trapped, so alone. For the most part it all falls on my shoulders, because Mark has to focus on work (he brings in the money after all, and you all know how the stock market gig is going lately). And he's taking 2 classes to finish his business degree, so that's more on his plate. And so, like most moms, the kids, the house, the groceries, the laundry, all ends up on me. Normally, this is semi-manageable. At least it is when I've got the right chemical & hormonal balance in my brain.

Right now, this is almost more than I can bare.

Thankfully Mark took Luke to day care this morning (obviously I can't leave the house if Sophie can't even move), and I'm not going to the office. I've got work I can do at home while she sleeps. Mark will pick Luke up after work if Sophie's not better (and maybe even if she is better, since I'm not sure if I'll have it in me to leave the house today).

Our office open house is this Friday, and there is so much to do to get ready for that it's nuts. Mark has to give a presentation to our clients at the beginning of the open house (along with 2 other investment guys), so he's got that on his mind also. And if Sophie's not well by Friday... well, I have to be at the open house--that's not even an option--and my mom will take care of her, but Sophie will want me and I'll have to leave anyway. I guess I'll stop worrying about that and just jump off that bridge if we come to it.

So much fun around here! Woohoo, aren't you glad you stopped by today? No, seriously, thank you for listening to my whine fest. I truly am a wreck and just wish I could have you all here in my family room holding my hands and giving me hugs and bringing me margaritas and telling me it will be alright. Since my friends are all over the country, though, I'll still be thrilled with your virtual support.

And what in the world would I do without that?

153.8 - Broken Record

Vickie, you know me so well. Yes, indeed, I pretty much spent the weekend (at least figuratively) with my head under the covers.

Saturday morning we had our family picture taken for our Christmas card. So that required some energy and focus, as both kids needed baths and prettying up (as did I, of course). Here's the result:



Overall, it turned out pretty well. Usually the photographer has to work some magic and switch out at least one of our faces with another picture (we use the same photographer every year, he's a friend of ours). But we all smiled pretty in this shot and we'll send it as is.

After the picture, we went to see Santa at the mall. That was fun! The kids were on their best behavior and our Santa is great--real whiskers, no beard. Then we went to Red Lobster and had a feast. We used to eat there a lot when Mark's mom was alive, but haven't been there in almost 3 years now. They advertised a new wood fired lobster tail, and that sucked Mark right in. We had a nice time together.

Then the rest of Saturday and all day Sunday, I spent my time in my PJ's. We all needed a rest Sunday morning so we skipped church. I took a bath around 1 p.m., and put on clean pajamas instead of clothes since we weren't going anywhere. And I laid around & read & watched Christmas TV with the kids.

And ate. And ate. And ate.

The scale doesn't tell the true picture anymore. 6 months ago I'd have been OK with this weight. But then I went and lost some weight in October and found out how great I feel around 146, and of course bought a few fall clothes and new bras at that weight. So everything feels tight & my muffin top is pronounced and overall I just feel yucky.

Yada yada yada. I'm getting tired of hearing myself whine about this.

So you know the drill--it's Monday, a new start, new dedication, new food & exercise choices. But I'm just not feeling it. I don't want this extra fat on my body, but I don't have it in me to do a whole lot about it.

I did call my doctor this morning and they are going to increase my meds. I'll start that new dose tomorrow. I hope it kicks in soon.

And I plan to run this afternoon (haven't since last Monday...I've got some miles to make up to hit my 500 mile goal). It's much warmer today (mid to upper 30s, woohoo!) so it should be a good time to run.

The trick will be keeping it together tonight and not noshing on every carb in my house (which isn't much after this weekend).

That's the deal around here. Sorry to be such a downer. Bring on the good cheer in the comments, friends. I'd love to hear it!

P.S. I do take my own advice and repeat to myself "this is only temporary" on a regular basis. I know this will pass. It always does.

151.2 - In the dumps

Man, it was bad this morning. I slept late, could barely get myself moving, and had to make myself take a bath and get ready for work. It's that moving through sludge feeling--definitely chemical. I get this way every winter. I'm just surprised it's happening so soon this year.

Sophie had a dizzy spell yesterday and had to stay home from school. I stayed with her in the morning and Mark came home and stayed with her in the afternoon while I went to work. It's not a bad one. She's with me today at the office but is walking around now and feeling OK. I'm hesitant to send her back to school yet, because it's hard for her to concentrate and the kids have to move from one thing to another so quickly, and that can cause her to feel dizzy. So, anyway, another day and hopefully tomorrow she'll be better.

I just called my doctor to ask him to up my antidepressant amount, but they are closed this afternoon and Friday, so that will have to wait until Monday. I've been on this dosage for almost a year, I think (I can't even remember when I started on this round). And I've got a SAD light that I can bring into my office, which will hopefully help. Until then, though, I'm in a deep funk that really sucks.

And, of course, I ate oreos & cool whip & pringles last night to push it all away.

I really need a trip to the gym (didn't do anything yesterday because I had to get home to the girl). I'm keeping my fingers crossed I can get work done in time for a yoga class tonight, or at the very least a run on the treadmill. Sophie should be OK for the gym day care, even though she probably won't like it.

So that's the scoop around here. I just pray no one else gets sick or hurt. I don't think I can handle much more right now.

152.0 - A Few Good Things

Since my last post, I've managed to accomplish some good stuff on the road to losing some LB's.

Monday after work, I went running. In the cold. And the wind. And part of the time in the dark. But it was great! Really, it was. Okay, no, it kinda sucked since I hadn't yet figured out my winter running gear needs yet, and my legs were freezing in the 33 degree temp. I'd wardrobed the top part of my body okay--short sleeve running shirt, long sleeve running shirt, fleece pullover, hat, gloves, iPod in my ears, Garmin on my left wrist, Road ID on my right. I guess I figured my legs would be running and wouldn't need an extra layer. Wrongo! Definitely need to wear running tights under my running pants next time. Lesson learned.

Since it was after 4 p.m. when I started, I knew I'd need to run in the park where there isn't much road traffic because I didn't have my reflective vest with me. I did 4 laps, which is 3.25 miles. The last lap was in the dark, but there was absolutely no one else around crazy enough to be out in that weather. Did I mention it was cold and windy?

Monday night I was a good girl and ate broccoli and eggs & turkey. No carbs at dinner, woohoo! Weight loss here I come.

Then, oops, Bad Girl shows up at 1 a.m. when I had to pee and walked straight to the fridge (after the potty break, and yes I washed my hands) and pulled out the crustless pumpkin pie leftover from Thanksgiving. I didn't have much, but I did have several squirts of whip cream from the can. And then a few spoons of cool whip lite from the freezer. Could have been worse, but it was still eating in the middle of the night.

Today was not the best food wise, because I ran out of lettuce and didn't have the makings for my usual healthy lunch. Basically I didn't eat enough during the day and felt weak in the afternoon. A protein shake and an apple with two string cheese sticks isn't much fuel for the bulk of my day.

Especially since I took a weights class tonight at 4:30. Mom picked up the kids since she didn't get to see them over the weekend, so I was FREE to do what I wanted. Lifting weights after being off for a while is hard. But it felt great. I was so glad to be back at it. Even though I didn't feel as strong as usual--I could really tell I was low on good food fuel.

After class I went grocery shopping and stocked up, picking up some key ingredients for two recipes I wanted to try. And after getting the kids to sleep tonight, I made them both. I've got good food for Mark & me for the next few days all ready. Even have my lettuce packed in gladware, ready for lunch tomorrow.

And I think all the Alton Brown shows I've been watching are starting to rub off on me. I'm getting to be a darn good cook, if I do say so myself. Here are the two recipes I made tonight:

Roni's Curried Turkey Salad is simply to die for. My pear isn't ripe yet so I just used a big apple, and I added a couple tablespoons of pecans and omitted the onion (not a raw onion fan), and OMG it is amazing. I only had a few bites but I can't wait to eat it tomorrow for dinner. If you have leftover turkey, you have got to make this recipe.

The first thing I made tonight was a recipe from my girlfriend LeAnne. It was my dinner, even though it's pretty carby and I ate it at 9:30 pm. Oh well. I was starving because I'd had nothing but a few leftover green beans (again, from Thanksgiving) when I got home from working out. This recipe is well worth the fresh basil and even though it looks like a lot of work, it's easy. Use a big bowl to combine everything--it's a lot of food.

Chicken & Tortellini with Cherry Tomatoes and Corn

1 lb. fresh chicken breast tenderloins
1 (9 oz.) pkg fresh cheese tortellini, uncooked (Bertolli's is in the refrigerated section)
1 (10 oz.) pkg frozen whole kernel corn
1 clove garlic, halved (optional)
2 cups quartered cherry tomatoes (the store had grape tomatoes, and I quartered those just fine)
1/4 cup sliced green onions
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil (or more!)
1 teaspoon olive oil (+ however much you need to cook the chicken)
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
Kosher salt, to taste
2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

If using garlic, rub the inside of a large serving bowl with garlic halves (Laura's note: I didn't do this), and discard the garlic halves. Cut the tomatoes, slice the green onions, and chop the basil; put these in the serving bowl.

While waiting for water to boil for tortellini, start cooking the chicken (I usually just 'heat' it in pan over med-low heat, with a little olive oil). When it is cooked all the way through, cut it into bite-sized pieces. (Laura's modification--I cooked 1 tsp minced garlic in olive oil until light brown, then added already cut up chicken. I was in a hurry and wanted the chicken to cook quickly.)

Cook tortellini in boiling water 3 minutes, omitting salt and oil. Add corn, and cook additional 3 - 4 minutes; drain well.

Pour tortellini & corn mixture on top of the tomatoes, onions & basil in the serving bowl. Add cubed cooked chicken, tsp. olive oil, a generous pinch of Kosher salt, and black pepper. Toss gently to coat. Sprinkle cheese on top. Serve immediately. (I'm having leftovers for lunch--hopefully it will still be yummy.)

***
So that's been the good stuff over the past two days. Work is still very stressful. I'm trying not to be resentful about how much I have to do for the Holidays. I'm keenly aware this year that all of this could just go away, and I wouldn't have to worry about parties and pictures and open houses and Christmas cards and presents, at all. I'm lucky to be overwhelmed, I keep telling myself. I'm too blessed to be stressed.

***
Holy cow, I just totalled up my miles for the month of November and realized I need to run 28.5 miles in December to run a total of 500 miles in 2008. How cool will that be? It's nice to have a goal this time of year.

154.0 - Ugh, & Random Chattiness

Thanksgiving was good. Too good.

Our dinner with the family turned out to be a lot of work but it was really worth it and everything came out great. Everyone raved about the food. We are a family of good cooks. The gravy was gourmet and fabulous, just as we'd hoped. And I really enjoyed all the cooking on Thanksgiving day. The prep & shopping was the hardest part.

My food intake was simply out of control. Not just during dinner, either. I pretty much had a f*ck it attitude all weekend, and man am I paying for it now. My waist has grown by several inches and I've got a muffin top again. My pants are tight on my thighs & behind. I'm spilling out of my new 34C cups.

I did run twice--3.3 miles on Wednesday and 5 miles on Saturday (with niece in law Kate, which was really super fun).

I really do feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and I don't like it one bit. I can also feel the winter depression already coming on, which is a bad thing because it makes me want to eat and eat and eat.

It's gonna be a long 3 months, I'm afraid.

I'm seriously thinking of looking for a February or early March half marathon so I have something to train for and keep me motivated. There's one in California that a few of my blogger friends are running, but I can't justify the cost and travel time, so I'm going to have to figure something else out.

In other bad news, I've got carpal tunnel symptoms in my right hand. I had carpal tunnel with both pregnancies, really badly--both hands were completely numb for 6 weeks before and 6 weeks after delivery of my kids. This isn't that bad now. My fingers are going numb with fine motor work, like putting on eyeliner. And I'm waking up with it numb & sore. So I got my brace out and am wearing it, which helps. It's just a pain in the behind and one more thing to deal with.

I put up the Christmas tree yesterday (random note: I've never had a real tree, always artificial; turns out I'm alergic to pine--gives me a headache-- so it's just as well). I put on the lights, and Sophie put on the ornaments. I adjusted the ornaments to the areas she couldn't reach this morning. The kids each have a 3 foot tree in their rooms, which they love. I haven't dragged anything else out yet. Not sure if I'm up for putting up all the decorations. It's fun to put it out; it's a bitch to put it all away a month from now.

Really behind at work. I basically did nothing last week except Thanksgiving prep, so now I've got two weeks of work to do this week. Plus getting ready for our office open house on December 12th. I look at the calendar and just can't believe it's December already and can feel time catapulting me toward January.

I hope I find a way to slow things down and enjoy life a bit instead of watching it fly by.