148.4 - Feed a cold, and other ramblings

It's the best of seasons. It's the worst of seasons.

I love this time of year. But man, the germs do come on with a vengeance.

My mom took the kids to McD's playland last Friday when she picked them up from school. I had neglected to tell her that we don't go to places like that any more. No Chuck E Cheese's (a.k.a. Yucky Sneezes), no McD's playland, no Pizza Hut indoor playground, no Simon Mall indoor playground. Every single time we take the kids to one of those things, one or both of them get sick.

Sure enough, Sophie and Luke were both extra snotty (their heads, not their behavior) this past weekend, and Sophie had a scratchy, coughy throat. The kids are both better--just the regular allergy stuff now (despite their nightly zyrtec & benadryl doses; I can't imagine what it would be like without those meds). Mark had a bad head cold yesterday and stayed home from work, and mine started late last night.

Just in time for me to feel sorry for myself and, you guessed it, drown myself in junk food. Feed a cold, indeed!

I've not run since Sunday's half. Didn't have it in me to run in the extra warm temps yesterday afternoon. And I'm sure the lack of endorphins is part of the reason I ran to the food in the first place. This afternoon if it doesn't rain, I plan to remedy that situation and get in a nice healthy run.

I also have been pretty much off my Crack Diet plan since the 2 days before the race. I'm eating semi-on-plan during the day, but every night I've had minor discretions and last night was a major one.

The reasons for my food ambivalence are varied & complex.

This is gonna sound weird, but I'm afraid to lose much more weight. Mark is really struggling right now with his weight and lack of opportunity to exercise, and I remember when I was over 200 pounds and he was teaching kick boxing and was super fit & skinny. I resented the hell out of him. I think now, the tables are turned and while he appreciates and enjoys my new body, there seems to be an unspoken limit to how thin I "should" get.

He and I had a big talk on Monday night, when he had an emotional break down (and I had a food meltdown that night, too). Today he's leaving to visit his brother in Colorado who had the heart attack a few weeks ago. The imminence of a heart attack is terrifying Mark right now, which frankly is a good thing. He's serious about changing his food intake (and he just went to the doctor and got his cholesterol Rx increased). But he's scared because he said he doesn't know how. And of course, he's scared he could die in as little as 5 years time (his dad died at age 51, and Mark is 46). I told him I'd cook for him and provide his food, and he needs to stay away from fast food. So far, it's working.

Even though it should be natural for a wife to cook for her husband, that's never been the dynamic in our family. Mark is the chef; I cook by recipes. I have no natural abilities in the kitchen and can only make things turn out well when I follow directions. Which is fine, if your tastes (like mine) are simple. Mark, on the other hand, has very complex tastes & is finicky about food. He's like the rat in Ratatouille... tasting his way through a recipe and making a fabulous dish out of next to nothing in the fridge.

But. He has no time for this. So he's going to be stuck with my recipes and my food, until he figures out another healthy way. And I have to give big props to Roni, who is my go-to recipe source. I cooked her Southwestern turkey burgers last night and they are awesome.

So I've got this mindset that I better just get in maintenance mode for now, and keep my weight around 147-148 for a while. Perhaps in the spring I'll shoot for another 8 pounds down. I'd really like to weigh 140 for the Indy half in May so I can see how much faster I can run (yeah, yeah....better, stronger, faster! It's the American way =).

This weight seems to agree with me right now, and I'm happy here.

But we all know that maintenance is a bitch.

And the bitch session is ON!

***
Debby, Gu's are an energy gel that runner's use to keep on keepin' on during long runs. I use them when I run longer than an hour. They've got about 100 calories each and provide fast energy to the body via sugar & (with some flavors) caffeine. They're syrupy goo (hence, the name Gu) and are in little pouches that fit in small pockets in running shorts. There are all kinds of different brands, but my favorite is Gu's Espresso Love. It has extra caffeine! And it tastes yummy, as far as these things go. I had a vanilla one once, and it was disgusting.

EDIT: Dang it, I feel miserable. Sinuses are on fire, scratchy throat, headachy. No run for me today. I can barely keep myself upright at my desk. It's gonna be a fun night with just me and the kids tonight... I'm sure chocolate will be involved in one form or another.