Summer (155.4)

Last week & this week the college required mandatory overtime because the school as a whole was behind on financial aid packaging of continuing students, so even though our campus was on schedule--and even though I only handle new students and don't have anything to do with continuing students--I worked 45.5 hours last week and will work 45-46 hours this week. 

And since we close early on Fridays, and last Friday I left at 1:30 to pick up Sophie from sleep-a-way camp, I've been putting in 9-10 hour days. 

It's been nuts. 

Work is good, though.  I still really love it.  This is the first time in weeks it has slowed down enough during the work day for me to spend a much time doing non-work stuff at work.  (I work until 7 tonight, it's almost 5:30, and I'm pretty fried.)  So I thought I better post an update. 

Summer has been crazy busy.  June is the month of camps. Every week is something different.  I have it coordinated down to a science.  Thankfully work is flexible enough that when they were in acting camp together a couple weeks ago, I could drop them off at 8:45 and be at work before 9 (camp is 10 minutes from home, and school is 5 minutes from camp).  Then I'd spend my lunch hour picking them up at 3 pm, taking them home, getting them settled with a snack or whatever, and then going back to work until 6 or 7pm (on the nights I worked late, which is twice a week on a regular basis).  

Last week Sophie was at sleep-a-way camp and Luke was at Puppet Theater camp at the acting studio (so same morning schedule as above, except Mark or mom picked up Luke at 3pm since he can't stay by himself). 

This week they are together at an outdoorsy-type camp at a local historic site, and Sophie is a counselor-in-training (which means she has to work with the little kids & it is WORK).  I drop them off at 8:15 and am at work by 8:30.  Camp is 3 minutes from the house and 15 minutes from work. Monday Mark picked them up (I worked till 7), Tuesday they went home with friends and I picked them up there at 6:15, today & tomorrow I pick them up on my lunch hour & come back to work until 7,  Friday I'm off at 3.  No need for help from my mom this week. 

Mark helps when he can, but honestly it's not worth it to depend on him to pick them up.  He never knows what the market or clients are going to do, so only in rare instances, like Monday, do I bother to ask for him to get involved.  

Next week they are home together & doing nothing. They are ready for a break  & will enjoy being couch potatoes for a few days.  My mom might come get them and take them to my sister's house with my niece to go swimming at their pool.  

Sophie has one more week of camp as a counselor in late July (mom will keep Luke), and then it's back to school on August 11.  The rest of the weeks they are home together (I pay Sophie babysitting $--she's 13 now) or my mom will keep them. 

We leave on July 4th for vacation for 10 days. We're flying on a direct flight to Orlando, Florida. There's a close by airport that has great deals on flights (although they get you on baggage costs--I have to pack very carefully!). Vacation is....

New Smyrna Beach for 3 nights

Universal Studios Orlando for 3 days/2 nights--get this! They delayed opening Diagon Alley (Harry Potter World, for you Muggles) until July 8.  We check into the hotel July 7--that has been the plan since I booked the vacation last spring. It is pure luck we are going to be there on the opening day.  We are staying on property.  We will be able to get into the Wizarding World, and I assume Diagon Alley, an hour before the general public, along with the rest of the hotel guests, our first morning there.  Yes, it will be insanely busy, I'm sure.  But as Sophie said, it will be Epic. We are telling the kids to keep their expectations low.  What happens, happens.  We are getting 3 day tickets and will do what we get to do & expect it to be insane.  

Clearwater Beach for 4 nights

Our approach to vacation has always been--keep planning to a minimum and keep expectations low.  Then everyone is happy with whatever comes.  So we have hotels booked, a car rented, and tickets for the Studios bought, and that's it.  Plus all we really want to do is hang out at the beach.   Hopefully I'll have more time next week to research stuff in the areas we are staying but if I don't, then we'll figure it out when we get there. 

I'm planning to ship a box of sunscreen & other liquids like shampoos & stuff to the hotel via priority mail, this Friday.  I'm packing us this weekend as much as possible.  Since the kids are home next week, hopefully they'll hang out in PJs & I won't have much to wash, haha. 

So, now onto ME!

LOVE the new medicine.  Topamax (generic) is a good thing for me. It seems to have mellowed me out enough that I feel like it's doing what it's supposed to but I don't feel medicated.  I'm not depressed, I'm not a zombie, I'm not like the guy in "Office Space" after he gets hypnotized and doesn't care about anything anymore (although how I wish that were possible to get in a legal prescription pill and still be able to function on a daily basis).  I still am sometimes uptight and stressed, and am still ME, but the edge isn't there like it used to be.  At least that's what it seems like anyway. 

After about a month on 50mg, things seemed to level out.  When I went up to 100 mg almost a month ago, I barely noticed the increase. So I guess that's good.  

The weird side affects have pretty much gone away except for the metallic taste in my mouth, and I drink a ton of water, which I've always done anyway but this makes me drink even more.  I don't have a foggy brain--I don't lose words anymore. My appetite is normal, although I'd say it has helped take away some of the obsessive thinking about food, which is makes sense since it has helped take away some of my obsessive thinking in general--which is the point of me taking it in the first place. I can't drink soda at all b/c of the metallic taste thing.  If I sit still and am calm (which, let's face it, is rare) I sometimes get a small, pleasant buzzy, tingly feeling over my body.  I don't really know how to describe this.  I don't feel it unless my mind and body are completely relaxed and not all the time.  I'm sure it has to do with how the chemical is reacting in my brain, but I haven't had time to research it to see how other people experience or describe it.  Anyway, if you've taken it maybe you know what I'm talking about.  It's not a bad thing.  It's just different. 

I take Wellbutrin XL 150 mg (generic) in the morning.  It's working OK now too.  I rarely take xanax, only if I'm really stressed and hormonal.  I'm still not eating desserts (has been almost 2 years since I've had a dessert) and rarely overeat and don't binge.

I am still going to OA meetings, although I'm not working my steps like I need to.  I haven't started running again either.  Both of those things make me sad.   But seriously, I don't know how to fit them into my life right now.  I also still work for Mark on the weekends a couple times a month, although he is doing almost everything himself now.  There's just not much spare time anymore.  I figure I'm doing the best I can and I'm not beating myself up about any of it.  It is what it is. 

One thing I have to share where I simplified my life.  One day I was driving Sophie to school and I chipped a nail.  I got all ticked off and mad, and when she asked what was wrong I told her, and she said that seemed like a silly thing to get upset over.  And I said "Well, I spend a lot of time on my nails!"  And I HEARD myself. Really heard myself. I spend. a. lot. of. time. on. my. nails.  So guess what?  I stopped painting my nails. Now I just keep cuticles trimmed and keep them cut short (I always kept them short anyway--I have to b/c I type so much), with a clear coat of polish.  I take the clear coat off on the weekend and start fresh, and usually put on another coat of clear in the middle of the week.  I found a Sally Hansen strengthener I like that seems to be keeping them from peeling.  It's such a small change, but it's made a big difference in simplifying my life. 

OK, that's enough for now.  I gotta go get some work done before I clock out. 

Thank you so much to all of you who are still coming here to read my barely existent blog!  :)  Hope you're having a great summer.